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Chuck Norris Wants To Be President Of Texas

March 13, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: Douchebagery, main

chuck norris running for texas president

Chuck Norris is leading the movement for states like Texas to “stand and secede” from the “wayward federal government.” and ” may run for president of Texas.” The Star Telegram reports:

Texans might rebel “if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

Quoting Patrick Henry and John Adams, Norris wrote that Congress and the president “stampede” the Constitution in favor of “desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.”

He’s kicking mad that the United States has somehow “bastardized” religious freedom by having a secular government. He quotes a 1776 Adams letter saying that the Constitution works only for “a moral and religious people.”

Norris added that he thinks the Republicans are taking the nation the same direction as the Democrats, “just slower.”

He used the s-word: “Other states might stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it.” He ominously described “thousands of cell groups” ready to join.

Whatever Chuck says, goes! When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

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