Santa Spews Out His Contempt On Twitter

It seems the once jolly purveyor of Christmas, Santa Claus is finally fed up with all the shit he has to deal with ever year and has taken to his Twitter to express his contempt for Christmas, kids, and life. Here’s a few choice samples of the hate spewing out of his keyboard….

Leaving carrots for my reindeer is real smart kids. The only thing that was missing from reindeer shit was fucking carrots.

Hey Billy from Idaho, your letter says you want a PS3. Santa just changed it to “novelty calculator from Staples”

Johnny from Kansas wants an XBOX. Aw! You deserve it after all the shitting-your-pants you’ve accomplished this year.

“You better watch out, you better not cry.” What is that, a rape anthem? Fucking carols man.

North Pole is full of boring-ass shit. Oh yeah. The elves can make “toys of wonder” but can’t build a couple titty-bars? Bitches.

Sarah, you’ve been good all year. Good job! Too bad your dad’s an alcoholic and your mom’s mentally checked out. Chinese-made Barbie again!