Mick Foley's daughter Noelle is smoking hot!
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A Few Good Reasons Why Being A Man Is Awesome

January 11, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Awesomeness, List

kenny powers

1. Your last name stays put.

2. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

3. You can never be pregnant.

4. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

5. The world is your urinal.


6. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

7. Wrinkles add character.

8. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

9. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

10. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

11. You know stuff about tanks and engines.

12. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

13. You can open all your own jars.

14. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

15. Your underwear is $3.95 for a three-pack.

16. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

17. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

18. One color for all seasons.

19. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.

20. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

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  • Lt York

    Stop stealing our content!
    mantastic.org
    The Field Guide to being a Man.

    Actually, we pirated some of ours as well.

    Pasted below.
    Mike

    The Field Guide To Being A Man:

    * Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers, unless no identifying features of any man are captured. Who cares about the strippers? They shed their dignity long ago.
    * Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
    * It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
    1. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
    2. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
    3. After wrecking your boss’ car.
    4. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game.
    5. When your date is using excessive teeth.
    6. When Shane orders milk at the bar.
    7. When you see the flag raising on Iwo Jima.
    8. When George Patton says, “We will grease the treads of our tanks with their guts.”
    * Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
    * Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move: Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident.
    * Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move: You’d rather stay home and watch Three Stooges.
    * Once you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
    * The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
    * Biatching about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
    * No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.)
    * On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. {and the weakest cleans up the mess, and can be left behind}
    * While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies’ girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pals’ significant idiots – low level sports bonding is all the law requires (sorry ladies, it’s called a double standard because it’s twice as true).
    * Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one swoosh.
    * When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
    * It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach….and it’s delivered by a hot topless waitress…and it’s free.
    * Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked. Even then, don’t get knocked to the ground; you don’t want to find out what happens then…
    * Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Period.
    * If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem—you didn’t see nothin’.
    * Women who claim the “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate significant knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
    * You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it down the bowling alley into the pins.
    * A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman should remain sober enough to fight. If you don’t, it’s your loss.
    * Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That’s just plain chick-like.
    * If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
    * Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
    1. Yeah, baby, push it!
    2. C’mon, one more time, harder!
    3. Another set and we can hit the showers. Yaaaaaaay!
    4. Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?
    * Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
    * You cannot rat out a coworker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes
    * Unless your buddy is in jail behind one of those plastic partitions that has the really small holes in it, you may never light another man’s smoke. Give him the lighter.
    * You may ask what kind of ammo is being used, but you may not ask if it is a shotgun or rifle. If you don’t know, you’re too close.
    * Finally, men are happy. Why? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. {To hell with Hillary} You can never be pregnant. You don’t bleed between the legs. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because “this one is just too icky.” You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles and grey hair add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes rarely cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet, one pair of shoes and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You can go Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on 24 December, in 25 minutes. Finally, you have a penis, not a vagina.

    So, be happy, you’re a MAN!