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Saving You The Time And Energy Of Watching The Turd Known As Machete: All The Best Scenes From It

March 28, 2011 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Awesomeness

machete

So I just saw Machete yesterday and although I had high hopes for the movie(Robert Rodriguez + Danny Trejo + Robert De Niro + Jessica Alba + Gore + Violence = A Winning Combination?) I can say with an above average amount of certainty that it is a piece of crap. Many of you will disagree and claim that the ultra-campiness of the movie, the look and the feel, the bad acting, the horrible dialogue and the overt use of violence to make up for a solid story line was what Robert Rodriguez intended for but 30 minutes in, I was ready to bail, that is until someone informed me that Lindsay Lohan was topple somewhere in the movie and in which case I stuck it out for the entire 105 minutes. Even though the movie sucked ass, there were a few scenes that were commendable and I posted those scenes below saving you an hour and a half of your life which can be properly utilized while watching pron.

 

Intro



Intestine Scene

Lindsay Lohan Scene

Motorcycle Chain Gun Scene

Jessica Alba In The Shower

Michelle Rodriguez Resurrection

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  • Sparky

    Is the dude that yells “Get that Mexican!” in the chain gun on the motorcycle scene Axl Rose?

  • Billy Bob

    Fuk you, Machete was awesome