So I just saw Machete yesterday and although I had high hopes for the movie(Robert Rodriguez + Danny Trejo + Robert De Niro + Jessica Alba + Gore + Violence = A Winning Combination?) I can say with an above average amount of certainty that it is a piece of crap. Many of you will disagree and claim that the ultra-campiness of the movie, the look and the feel, the bad acting, the horrible dialogue and the overt use of violence to make up for a solid story line was what Robert Rodriguez intended for but 30 minutes in, I was ready to bail, that is until someone informed me that Lindsay Lohan was topple somewhere in the movie and in which case I stuck it out for the entire 105 minutes. Even though the movie sucked ass, there were a few scenes that were commendable and I posted those scenes below saving you an hour and a half of your life which can be properly utilized while watching pron.
Lindsay Lohan Scene
Motorcycle Chain Gun Scene
Jessica Alba In The Shower
Michelle Rodriguez Resurrection