Holy Crap! How Awesome Is This Story About Being Socially Awkward

September 14, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, Story

pet rock

This was freshmen year of college and jesus fcuk I should really be making a throwaway account for this but fcuk it. It was a thursday night and I was drinking in a room with some girls I randomly met at dinner at the dining hall in a dorm across campus. I was flirting with a cute blond girl and she started tickling me while I was taking a sip of beer. I chocked on the beer but didn’t want to spit up in her face so I used all my will power to stop my fcuking coughing instantly but in the process I had let out a small nugget of shiet. Thank god I was wearing jeans because the nugget remained balanced on the side of my shoe. I told the girl I had to go to the bathroom and shuffled out like drunk zoidberg sweating like crazy from nervousness. Halfway down the hall she calls out to me and said I dropped something, fcuk. I see my dark brown nugget of shiet a few feet behind me and her walking towards me. I did the only thing I could think of doing and I tossed her the nugget of shiet and told her it was “my lucky rock”. As I’m turning around to leave I witness this drunk freshman girl catching my shiet in her hands and that image was and will be burned in my mind forever. The next day I cancelled my dining plan to avoid ever seeing any of those girls again and eventually had to drop out due to extreme social anxiety later that semester.

TL;DR I gave a girl a piece of my shiet and told her it was my lucky rock.