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It’s Stories Like These, That Make Me Feel Better About Myself

September 22, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, Story

fart

About half an hour ago, i farted. Sitting at my computer as i do most of the time, this is something i’ve grown used to, but this fart really f* stank. Seriously, it was like eleven dead animals with shiet mixed in. I was sick and tired of having farts smell so terrible. But did i do what the sensible person would do, and get up and wait for it to disperse, perhaps taking with me the resolution to change my diet to better influence my smells? No, i did not. I took what i considered to be the alternative route.

I stuck a mint up my ass.

I figured that, since it dissolves in saliva, my ass would server a fair job of dissolving it, thus lining the end of my colon with a nice minty extract and making my farts the kind that goirls would like to make out with. Somewhere along the line, however, it apparently didn’t work out the way dissplvet mint would be absorbed into the walls.

Anyway, around 20 minutes passed, and i had to fart again. Being of a scientific mind, i decided this would be where i’d prove of disprove my hypothesis, so i let her rip.

Oh god. It wasn’t a fart. It was a fcuking butt sneeze.

The mint had been dissolved, that much was clear. But what was left was spearmint jelly mixed with shiet, and it was all over my boxers and running down my leg as i ran to the bathroom. I cleaned up my boxers as best i could, scrubbed my leg, and tossed the underwear in the wash. So overall an embarrasing experience, and one i wouldn’t want to relive.

However, it was worth the noting:
That shiet jelly smelled fcuking awesome.

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