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October 10, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Awesomeness, How To

road rage

I hate it when someone rides my ass while driving, so I have developed the best defense for these ****ers. I have decided to share it with you.

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby. It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don’t work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that biatch is off your ass.

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  • TheDude

    Tried it, worked like a charm! Bonus points: the redneck jerkwad nearly flipped his pickup too when he swerved off the road into that ditch!