Holy Smokes! I Think I Just Found The Crazy Of Craziest First Date Encounters

October 11, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Story

crazy girlfriend


I was at a party once, and got approached by a girl. She wanted to set up a double date with me and my buddy- and her and her friend.

My friend and I accepted (his date was kinda ugly, but he agreed to take one for the team) . The day of the date, the ugly friend cancelled on him, which was probably because it was just a setup for me and girl A in the first place. Ok! Sure, we go on.

So we set up a movie, and go see it. After the movie, she wanted to go back to her dorm / apartment complex and hang out with her pals. The date was going ok, so I agreed (It wasnt odd, college age, I was 20 or so, I think she was 22). So we hang with her roomies for a while, things are ok, then they want to go out, so they leave. I offer to leave, like a normal gentleman, and she indicates I should stay for a little.

I agree. We put on another movie, and I make a move to kiss her, and we kiss for a minute or so……….then………suddenly…..

She pulls away without warning and immediately gets really agitated. She wants to know where things are going, and before I can answer she begins crying very, very hard. She goes off on a tangent for about an hour about all these very odd issues she’s having and how nothing is right and all men are going to abuse her (wtf?) and so on.

Now within the first minute of the freak out I’m thinking, “ok, this is over. Let’s find an exit strategy, this girl is obviously not ready for anything.” But this was a mistake: Because I start asking questions, out of morbid curiosity. As it turns out, I’m like the second person she’s ever kissed…….

……and how she’s a virgin, because her mother was super overbearing and never let her date, and told her all men were going to kill/ rape her and leave her in a dumpster. She thinks cause I kissed her that we have to have sex now, but first she wants to call my parents and make sure I’m not an axe murder. Can she do a background check on me and see my grades? Oh now wait it’s back to the sex subject and she says wants to but she’s afraid and doesn’t know what to do, and so at this point I stop her.

I tell her that I’ve had a few girlfriends in my time, and that she’s better off finding someone a little less experienced, since she’s not. I tell her I’m not interested in sex right now, nor a relationship (well I totally was on both parts, but not with crazy people). I tell her the connection between us was good it’s just not right for us to sleep together.

She cries really hard again, but agrees that it’s not the right time, not the right person, etc.

I go home, chalk it up to a bad night. Now, mind you, all this girl had was my name, and telephone number. I think she had the telephone number of my friend.

The next morning, at 7:00 A.M. or so, I get a knock on my door. I don’t live on campus, I live waaaay off campus with roommates. It’s her. Now I’m freaking, cause how did she find my house!!!! She’s got flowers, with a card. She’s still crying, and she apologizes for her behavior the night before, and wants me to wait to read the card until after she leaves. I agree, and she tearfully walks away. I go inside.

The card says (i’m paraphrasing of course) “I really like you, I know I probably scared you away, but if you ever want to give it a shot, give me a call” . Right about the time I think, “well, maybe someday…” An INTENSELY loud pounding starts on the front door.

I answer, it’s her, she’s SCREAMING and in tears. I ask why, and she’s livid at me for not reading the note and chasing after her.

Now I’m thinking WTF x ten to the millionth exponent. But I calmly explain I need some time to think about it, especially since she just started trying to break down my door. She falls on the floor crying. I attempt to console her, and she flails at me and cries harder. I wait for like ten minutes for her to stop crying, and she agrees to give me some time. She walks away again.

It’s not 30 seconds before the pounding on the front door starts again. This time I’m done, I’m not going to answer.

I explain what;s happening to the roommates, and they don’t answer either. She spends the next hour screaming threats at the front door , crying and pounding on the door. I was just about to call the police before she left.

The next morning, she repeated the whole thing with a bigger bouquet and slightly less screaming, more pitiful crying, and only about 15 minutes, cause I threatened to call the police through the door and she called me a ‘limp dick motherfcuker’ and ran away.

I saw her only once more, about five years after, and after a friendly hi, she told me that she was really glad we hadn’t dated. Because she had a new boyfriend now, and that I was probably never going to change my mind. The guy was there with her, and I’ll admit she was a hottie, but the guy looked like quasi-modo.