I know this has been said a million different ways (hell, I’ve read probably most variations already); but it just recently “clicked” for me and I wanted to share in case someone else might find it helpful. I don’t mean to re-invent anything, think of this post as a reminder.
For some years now, I’ve been one of the most pragmatic, nihilist sons of biatches I know. I’ve been self-centered, my interests always ahead of everyone’s, if not the only important thing. This didn’t bring me happiness, nor did it bring me abundance as I’ve always wanted. Sure, I’ve gotten lots of girls all these years, way more than I would have had I not studied seduction. But they didn’t ever “fill that gap”: I was never truly happy, and I could tell they weren’t either. Furthermore, they weren’t exactly the quality women I knew I was looking for. Me being an asshole, most of these girls always had some sort of problem where they were a perfect match for my don’t-give-a-fcuk attitude. But this rarely ended well, and for a long time I haven’t had a meaningful, long, serious relationship.
I started hitting the gym, learned about psychoanalysis, read everything seduction related on the internet, and in the end, same results.
However, I recently noticed that getting women was probably the sole purpose of my life. Almost everything I did was, in some way, related to getting more women in the end. This mentality made me either not give as much value as I could’ve given, or even worse, take value instead. Since I noticed this, I’ve been working on shifting my way of looking at life to a new purpose: improve in every way possible, so as to give value to everyone. And for the first time in many years, I feel like I’m on my way to true happiness, a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders.
Now that my purpose is to leave everyone at a better place than where I found them, everything is different. The veil has been lifted from my eyes. All the reasons why I improve myself (physically, mentally, socially) are now oriented to having a life where I have so much value to give, everyone is, if only for a moment, happier for having met me.
So what I guess it comes down to is: shift your focus. Elevate everyone. If you’ve been hitting the gym to get ripped and get more girls, fine… but also incorporate helping/motivating someone who might be stuck at the point where you started, for example. Help everyone whenever possible, no matter who. You don’t need to step too much out of your way (or be a doormat who is at the very whim of the people you try to help), but do help when you can.
If they don’t appreciate it, fine. Continue on your merry way. If they appreciate it, that’s a bonus. If they reciprocate by giving value to your life, keep them in there. Those are few and far between.
When you start truly practicing this, you will find you no longer care if you get the girl, or how many, etc. Your mind won’t be wondering about IOI’s, negs, and all that stuff. You already know this, but since your focus is to give value, they will be drawn to you (of course you can then charm them by being the suave motherfcuker seddit has taught you to be).
In the end, (and sorry for the long ass post) I can sum it up like this: keep improving your life, so that you can give value to everyone else’s.