Date + lay, learned about what makes a good date

December 28, 2011 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Dating

first date


I had a date yesterday that went really well, ended up staying over at her place and had sex twice.

I learned a TON from this, and I think some of it might be useful.

I haven’t been on many dates. I’m more of a same-night lay sort of guy. To be honest, dates actually frighten me. So much of my AFC dating in the past was awful and anxiety-ridden, so I actually avoided standard dating.

This one went well. Here’s what I did to make it happen: I had a general plan of how it would go that wasn’t too specific. I met her near where she lives — this is crucial, it allows you somewhere to go later. I picked a starbucks in the middle of a promenade-style area. Gives us an obvious way to start the date, with the option of open-ended walking around checking stuff out.

First lesson: Have a plan, assume you’ll lead, but also be flexible.

After starbucks, I thought we would walk around. Turned out, she was hungry and suggested a bar with food. Right on! Happy to oblige. If I had tried to go along with my original plan, it would’ve been weird.

Second lesson: Take responsibility for moving the date forward, and do it before a venue feels “stale.”

I had good instincts both times. I moved us out of starbucks at a good time. And moved us out of the bar at a good time. By good time, I mean we were chatting, having fun, feeling good, and right as the conversation hit a natural transition point, I suggested we go. I didn’t wait until the venue became boring. And I didn’t wait for her to do it.

Third lesson: Start touching early, keep it going. Don’t worry if she’s not doing it back as much!

I gave her a hug the second we met up. Throughout Starbucks and the bar, I did “friendly” non-sexual touching. I was really diggin on her, so I wanted to touch her more. However, I was careful to be respectful as we were in public. The most I did was “romantic” touching, like touching her lower back or holding hands. I waited until we were alone to ramp it up.

She didn’t kino me back very much. For every five I did, she did one. But that’s okay! What’s important is she received touching well. Again, we’re the men, we have to lead.

Third-and-a-half lesson: Be comfortable and keep the conversation going.

Some girls are chatty, some girls are shy. If you’re with a shy girl, just fcuking talk. It doesn’t need to be profound. Say something fun, tell a fun story. Wait a second for her to chime in. If she doesn’t, ask her a fun question. That’s it! You can use silence to test her — does she take some responsibility for the conversation by reinitiating? My girl did… and I took this as a sign of interest.

Fourth lesson: Watch a movie. “Let’s watch a movie” is the “let’s go fcuk” of our time. Use it!

Women are horny! If you’ve been having fun, chatting, touching, and giving her some sexual looks, she’ll probably want you. Ask to isolate. There’s a good chance she’ll say yes. “Watching a movie” is awesome because it gives her an innocent excuse to be alone with you. It’s not Don frickin Juan but it works.

Fifth lesson: pick a movie that you both have seen and is light and funny. That way it’s okay to talk over it.

Sixth lesson: once you’re alone, just start escalating.

Again, you don’t have to be Don Juan. Just sit next to her on the couch or whatever, pull her over. Watch a bit of the movie, chat, laugh, and when you want to, just kiss her. It’s so simple: pick a moment when you’re both laughing and looking at each other, then go in for it.

Seventh lesson: get sexual.

When I was younger, I couldn’t figure out how to go from making out to other stuff. I’d just sit there and make out for way too long.

There are ways to make kissing sexual, I suggest you do them. Stuff like: biting the earlobe, kissing the neck, grab a fistful of hair near the roots, rub your hand up and down her side, etc. Don’t delay on this stuff. A natural and fun progression can be, 2-3 closed lip kisses, then some tongue, then start running your hand along her side.

Eighth lesson: to defeat last minute resistance, just keep going.

When I went to take her top off, she blanched and stopped me. I didn’t argue, I agreed, was totally chill, and just kept the sexual kissing and touching. I noticed again, she started getting horny. So I went for it again. Totally worked.

Just keep trying. You can literally watch a girl’s resistance slowly erode.

Lesson nine: at some point, the girl will basically decide that she’s going to fcuk you. Once this happens, you can just go right to the sex.

I was on the couch, making out with the girl with her top off. She was really into it. I just picked her up, carried her to the bed, set her down, and continued. We were having sex within literally 3 minutes. Something about moving to the bed for this girl meant sex. So I was able to not waste any more time.

If you recognize that a girl has given up resistance, you can literally just strip naked, finger her a little bit, and then bang.

Tenth lesson: have good sexual skills.

This doesn’t get talked about very much here, as far as I’m aware. But it’s so fcuking important! You have to do a good job. Really care about her pleasure. Know your way around a vagina. For instance, there are three spots that most women get intense pleasure from. One is the clit. Do you know the other two?

What really helped me out here was David Shade’s Sex Manual. Holy. Shiet. Is this book good.

Things I learned from it: how to talk to women in bed, different techniques for pleasuring her with hands, mouth, dick, bedroom etiquette, etc. Find this fcuking manual. It’s been discontinued, you can probably download it from somewhere. Imagine how much confidence you’ll have when you know, REALLY KNOW, that you can please women fantastically.

Lesson eleven, always push for the lay. Even if you want more than just sex with a girl.

I actually liked my girl. She’s cute, fun, spunky, and plays video games. What more can you ask for, right?

Well, on the date itself she was super cute and on best behavior. The sex was fantastic. After sex, though… she kind of got boring. Like, she stopped trying to be so cute. And I actually enjoyed conversation a lot less.

I would never had known this if we hadn’t had sex!! Sex brings out the real her. Meet the real her ASAP to see if you actually like her. Aaron Sleazy is big on this, and I now recognize why. That was some good wisdom.

Anyway, I’m pretty happy. I was horny as hell from not jerking off (which I highly recommend… I may post about that), and now I’m all tired and content. Go get laid!

Edit: got long, did some formatting