For All The Aspiring Casanovas Out There, A Crap Load Of Tips To Help The Seduction Process As Easy As Possible
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Keep your place clean. I don’t mean it has to pbooty the white glove test at all times, but shiet, keep it in order guys. For me, it’s always better to go to her house when it’s time to get down to business, but we all know that’s not always possible. A nice looking pad goes a long way in getting you to your goal.
Your bed is important. Invest in it. I’ve had many, many women ring me up and ask to stay the night at my house because my bed is “so much more comfortable.” A bullshiet excuse to get in my bed, but not one I’m complaining about. High thread count sheets, a decent looking bed frame, and an incredibly comfortable mattress make a world of difference. Besides, you spend a third of your life on that thing, don’t skimp.
- To go along with this, pillows are important. You should have at least four of them, with matching pillow cases. And for fcuks sake make sure they aren’t old as all hell. I have two firm one and two soft and fluffy ones so no matter what, if she stays the night, she’s comfortable.
On a related note, make your bed before you go out for the evening. Honestly, I generally don’t make mine because I’m kind of a lazy fcuk, but every time I go out, I do. When you bring someone home, every little thing helps.
Have an extra pair of gym shorts handy. This is what I typically sleep in because they’re damn comfortable. Some women like to sleep naked. Some like to sleep in just their underwear, and some will ask you for something. Every girl I’ve ever tossed a pair two has told me they’re going to steal them because they’re incredibly comfortable to sleep in. Plus, sometimes girls just look insanely cute in guy’s clothing.
From a comment below: Candles are awesome. Look nice, and more importantly, they make shiet smell nice. Always a good thing. Vanilla and sandalwood scents are my jam. Reasonably masculine but not overpowering. Don’t, however, keep them right next to your bed. Take it from me, if things get crazy, a spilled candle and a small fire can be a mood killer.
Get a dimmer switch for your light. Some girls like to see everything. Some like it pitch black. In my experience, a little dim mood lighting is usually perfect.
I don’t let any girl leave things at my house for obvious reasons. However, this can cause a few problems for women. As such, there are a few things I keep around for their benefit (mostly).
- Toothbrushes. I buy a bulk pack of cheap soft bristled ones for girls that stay over, and to clean my shoes with. The latter reason is what I tell them they’re there for so I don’t come off as a total scumbag. It’s also truthful.
- Wet wipes. Two reasons: Again, any girl will appreciate them when it’s time to clean up. Also, goddamn they’re amazing when you have just taken a post-chipotle deuce and things are a bit gritty down there. Trust me.
- Saline solution. I wear contacts. So do many women. They’ll appreciate it if you’ve got it. Don’t wear contacts? Shut up and buy some anyway, with a little case to hold contacts. If you’re asked why you have it, it’s because a friend from out of town stayed with you and left it there on accident.
- Hair dryer was listed below by puaCurveBall. I’m not generally one to let a girl shower at my place, but I can certainly see where it’d be useful. Along with this, a comb or brush would be good to have as well.
- Clean, nice, soft fluffy towels. I figured this should go without saying but enough people have mentioned it to merit it being here. Make sure you’ve got both bath-sized towels and a few wash cloth sized ones as well
- As I mentioned in a reply below, a bar of Dove unscented soap in the bathroom. Gentle enough for almost any skin type, always good to have around for her to wash up with, regardless of what you use.
In my bathroom I have a small decorative little jar type thing. It’s filled with little sample sized packets of advil/aleve/aspirin/whatever. Always good for helping quell a hangover the next morning, both for yourself, and your friend. Bonus points: since it’s just sitting out there in the open, and chances are pretty damn high that she’ll use your bathroom at some point, she can help herself to them.
Condoms and lube: keep that shiet near by. I have a night stand with a drawer on it. Guess where those goodies go? When it’s time to get busy, it helps expedite the process and make things less awkward. Before I had that night stand I kept them in a small watch box underneath my bed close to the head board so they’d be easy to get to in the dark.
- In addition, it’s never a bad idea to keep non-latex condoms around for a girl who may have allergies to latex.
- Going out for the night and want to have some condoms and lube handy but aren’t sure how to carry them? Best way I’ve found: Get some trial sized lube samples in the little foil packets. You can easily fit that, and a couple of condoms in a business card holder like this one. Easy to keep in an inside jacket pocket, or the back pocket of your pants. Looks reasonably classy, and not as goofy as keeping that stuff in your wallet, which you’re probably going to be bringing out a few times over the course of an evening.
Water. After a good romp, your lady friend and you will need to hydrate. I keep a case of cheap bottled water in my closet for easy access (and to avoid awkward 4am naked run-ins with the roommate).
Music. Seems silly, but most people seem to like good tunes to get naked to. I have a few select Pandora stations that I’ll pop on that I’ve spent enough time clicking the like and dislike buttons for certain tracks with that they never let me down. My go-to’s? Zero 7, Mbootyive Attack, Pretty Lights, etc. (I’ve got Pandora One so I don’t get ads. Kinda funny when you’re going at it and all of a sudden you’re getting sold car insurance, though.)
- Additions from others: instrumental hip hop, The Weekend, The XX. Not going to keep going with this because music tends to be a very personal thing, but you get the idea.
Taxi drivers: know one, and know one well. I’m a chatty motherfcuker, so every time I get in to a cab, I talk like crazy and get friendly with the driver. As such, I’ve got the personal cell numbers of a guy that “forgets” to start his meter until halfway through the drive for me, and another that will let you choose a song from a list and sing it to you on your way home. Always entertaining.
Even if you don’t smoke, it’s not a bad idea to carry a lighter. You never know when some lovely lbooty is going to ask you for a light. It’s like you don’t even have to try to open in that case.
As Trooper below said, have a bottle of wine handy. Or go one further like I do and have a decently stocked bar.You never know what her drink of choice may be. Here’s a break down of what I find to be the essentials. And don’t get the cheap stuff either. You don’t have to buy all top shelf booze, but a plastic handle of vodka screams “college, broke, and doesn’t know any better.”
- Vodka, gin, whiskey, rum, tequila, and both type of vermouth (dry and sweet) should always be around, as well as a bottle of red wine (someone mentioned shiraz although I’d go with a merlot), and a bottle of white (my call is for pinot grigio on this one as well).
- Mixers, you’ll need them. Vodka and crystal light don’t go together well. Soda water, tonic, coke, diet coke, cranberry juice, OJ, margarita mix, and maybe some redbull. Get the coke in cans, and the tonic/soda water in the small bottles, instead of a large 2 liter, so they last longer (being carbonated and all)
- Learn how to make a few basic cocktails if you don’t already know how. Margaritas, greyhound, sea breeze, martini, etc. A shaker isn’t a bad thing to have around either.
Keep some easy to make snacks handy. If you’re going to be cooking a dinner, you’ll be prepared for it I’d hope. But if you stumble home with some lucky lady at 3AM and have the munchies, save yourself some money, and time, and get your grub on at home. Cheese and crackers, and little microwaveable things from Trader Joe’s tend to work well for me.
- As puaCurveball suggested, Luna bars/granola type bars are also damn handy to have around.
Are you driving? As karlbarx noted, keep your car clean. You don’t want your date to step in to a veritable rolling trash can. Something I forgot to mention because I now live in a public transport friendly city.
- When I used to drive every bloody day, I’d also keep a nice cozy warm blanket and a pillow in my car. You never know when they’ll come in handy.
- I also kept $20-$40 in cash in the glove box for those situations where I happened to be without cash, not have an ATM near by, and whatever venue I was at didn’t take plastic.
Per sithyiscool’s suggestion, keep a go-bag, of sorts, in your ride, with a decent looking change of clothing in it. A few toiletries (mouth wash, hair product, etc.) probably wouldn’t hurt either.
A spare phone battery and a car charger are always incredibly useful.
Tide-to-go stain sticks are amazing. Get them and keep one in the car.