By Nick Notas
After writing my Midnight in Paris review, I got excited to learn more about Ernest Hemingway. I loved readingThe Old Man and the Sea when younger but I wanted to get deeper and truly understand the Nobel Prize-winning author. I discovered the story of a courageous warrior, wonderful writer, alcoholic womanizer who lost his mind due to a genetic disease and committed suicide. Talk about a wild ride.
Despite all his faults, Hemingway was an intricate and passionate man with brilliant lessons on life. Many of his words can be applied directly to dating and inspired me to share them with you guys, enjoy.
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
How often does someone introduce themselves only for you to forget their name three seconds later? Have you found yourself focusing on what to say next instead of just being in the moment? I used to struggle with remembering names before I realized that getting stuck in my own head prevented me from being a good listener. Don’t stress over finding the perfect words: just relax, listen to her, and the conversation will come much easier.
Never mistake motion for action.
Going out to bars or parties with friends is a great first step to meeting women. However, you have to be sure you’re making the most of your time. It’s good that you socialize with your friends but you should also actively seek out new people to talk to. It’s easy to feel like you’re accomplishing something when you’re not actually taking any risks. To make a significant change in your dating life, you have to consistently push yourself. Everyone gets nervous, but those who improve their social skills challenge themselves and expand their comfort zone.
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
Maybe you’ve been hurt by someone. Maybe you’ve been in a string of bad relationships. Maybe you just feel like giving up. You can’t let these past experiences stop you from opening up to new people. If you’re afraid of letting others in, you’ll end up missing out on incredible opportunities. You don’t have to leave yourself completely vulnerable, but give others the chance to prove themselves. Being too protective of your emotions can result in shutting others out and feeling alone.
The shortest answer is doing the thing.
Nervous to approach a cute girl, say something flirtatious, or even ask for her number? I spent a lot of time trying to think of the best ways to get over my fears. In the end, the only thing that really works is to accept those butterflies and do it anyway. Once you get it out of the way the first time, you’ve proven to yourself that you can do it. Every time after that becomes less and less difficult.
We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
No one can be socially perfect all the time, it’s impossible. You have to accept that not everyone is going to like you and you’re not going to hit it off with every girl. You’re going to slip up, make mistakes, and from them – that’s the beauty of it. Be prepared to constantly learn new things and evolve according to the situation. Don’t limit yourself by thinking you have nothing left to aspire to, your journey will always continue.