Pay Attention Ladies! Here Are The 23 Rules For Dating A Musician

June 28, 2012 | 38 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List

rules for dating a musician

1. Don’t try to be the “manager”, do not get involved with band business, that is for the band.

2. Don’t ask his bandmates for relationship advice. 

3. Do Not complain when your (insert holiday here) date gets cancelled because a show has been scheduled. Holidays are no longer yours. Even Valentines Day!

4. ***It’s NOT mandatory that you are at every show.***

5. Do not get jealous when your boyfriend talks to groupies. They are the one’s buying the CDs and merch, not you, so let them have their time. And remember…you get to go home with him!

6. Babies don’t make men quit bands….especially if you were a groupie.

7. No, the band does not want you to go on tour with them. Like your going to sleep in the back of a van and eat ramen for 4 months straight!?

8. Don’t make the following introduction: Hi! I’m _____. My boyfriend is in ______.

9. Don’t follow him around at shows like a lost puppy, he is taking care of business, find your own crowd.

10. Don’t go to band practice (Unless Invited). And it’s normal to have practice more than once a week.

11. Do not assume everyone loves your boyfriend’s band.

12. Don’t make out with other band members girlfriends at the bar. Save that for the after party.

13. Don’t turn yourself into a walking flyer for your boyfriend’s band. The shirt is fine, but must you break out the hat, the hoodie, AND the stickers on your ass?

14. No rumpshaka dances during the show, that is unless your man is in 2 Live Crew.

15. Do not change your style based on the type of band you date. Going from preppy to Nu to hardcore shows you are not your own individual.

16. If he calls while out on the road, don’t complain about when he is coming home. You’re lucky he is using the quarter to call you, instead of buying gas or food.

17. Never say anything negative about your man’s band that you cannot say to him. It will only come back to bite you in the ass.

18. If you’re a stripper, keep work on the pole, not at shows. Not everyone wants to know Victoria’s Secret.

19. Never cause a fight right before your man goes on stage. Relationship problems can be dealt with after the show.

20. If they have a show out of town, don’t drive just so you and your boy can have “alone time”. Because you want to “talk”.

21. Don’t buy your man a new intrument so he and his band mates can match. It’s metal core, not fashion core.

22. You cannot drink on the band’s tab! Buy your own! (also dont get so drunk that you embarrass your boyfriend or his bandmates)

23. Keep the band separate from your everyday life. That’s your boyfriend’s passion, find your own

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  • Juliannesmith1

    Its Love triangle in the dating with Musician .

  • MP

    So you just copied something that has been already created and floating around the internet for many years and taking credit as your own?

    • Evs Evy

      Thank you! I knew I saw this before.

  • Erin OGrady

    This is the most sexist piece of shit I ever read. Dudes in shitty bands need to get over themselves. They’re not gods, half the time they’re not even good. They’re lucky they have a girl that will pretend to like their shitty music

    • Adam ForNever Page

      No one is forcing you to date them. This is not sexist, it is realist. It is what it is, you don’t like it? Kick rocks…

    • youaredumb

      If this is sexist, then you’re smartist.

      • As if

        I don’t agree with the “sexist” part, but this list is kinda shit. ‘Here is a list of 23 things that us guys, expect you women, to adhere to, if we are in a band. So what if it’s not making any money, we don’t need power and food? And even though I have a girlfriend, the extent of my making her feel special is to let her know that when other women drape themselves over me constantly, that she is the one I will take home and have sex with.’
        If women tried to make a list like this we would be called feminists.

        • Um, not really…

          Well that’s how the performance world works. Especially with bands that are trying to grow. If I had a boyfriend who broke those rules I’d be pissed. It’s their job. You wouldn’t do any of this at your partner’s office, or even an office party. All it’s basically saying is dont start issues before a performance as it could screw you up, be respectful that the band is their thing and don’t try to intrude too much (Yoko Ono anyone?), don’t embarrass the band by being too promiscuous or sloppy drunk as it could mess with their reputation, don’t be jealous when they have to perform since that’s their job, a little flirting makes fans. And to respect yourself and have your own identity outside of being your partners plus one. It works both ways, as a female performer I wouldn’t want to date anyone who broke too many of these rules, who got jealous, or couldn’t deal with my weird and likely to change last minutes work/rehearsal schedules.

          • As if

            I just feel like those would just be general things you do in a relationship, when you respect each other. I feel like writing a list is pretty passive aggressive to be honest.
            Plus, there is nothing wrong with being jealous, hell, I get jealous when my bf has girls flirt with him, I know he won’t do anything, but I can’t help how I feel, the difference is that I don’t flip out at the girl (or my bf).
            I also think it’s shitty to say “keep the band separate from your everyday life” ummm, if your boyfriend is spending months away at a time, that affects your everyday life in every way. There is nothing wrong with sharing a passion with your partner either!

            • Red

              actually yes sharing passion is different in this situation. best way to share the passion is going to watch them enjoy their selves and watching them share what passion they got to the world as well. to let them share that passion is by being professional. iv also noticed this as being in a band, its not always flirting when your music is powerful enough to inspire both genders to the genre you preform. its not always justin bieber concerts lol


      Get em Erin, damn rock stars! 🙂

    • Heather Earnhart

      K, this is silly. Not everything is sexist just because it has to do with a man. If a guy is in a band that is his JOB. Might be his second job but you still have to treat it as a job. (I’m not talking about jam sessions with friends here. If he’s got shoes and gigs especially ones out of town: its a job.) People I public eye have a tendency to need the air of being single (especially when they are first starting) in order to build a fan base. Beatle mania anyone? But seriously, why do you think song lyrics are so vague? So anyone (and I mean anyone) can fill in the blank with their name. Its marketing. Not sexism. In fact its rather sexist of yiu to assume their are no female musicians. To whit their are many and yes, they do the same thing. Its all marketing. The reason _________ is the same reason you pick the brightly colored cereal at theo brain wash you.

    • Red

      its not being sexiest, bands are buisnesses to extent. you cant get in the way as they are up there to people different then you. it be same if guy is dating a girl in a band. so i hope it offends you as you need to pulled down from your self centered high horse

      • Katt Nelson

        To be fair, the article is male specific from the get go. So even though the ‘rules’ may also apply when the genders are reversed, obviously this article was not intended that way.

        • erik

          Think of the ratio to female rock stars to male rock stars. It’s not tough to see the target audience. Of course it’s male specific, because metal music is male specific. The rule may apply when genders are reversed, but 3/4 of the time it is NOT.

        • Red

          the erik guy proved the point. it was more geared towards women as in most causes of these genres and live shows, its mostly guys and just handful of women. get the hint here, start a band so these actual rules apply to women as well. its not like your dating a fashion model or some crap as most the time, they have to keep their relations secrete and its good trade off as it puts cash in their hands but i like how you only picked out that part and not the buisness part

    • los

      I bet you have broken every rule up there. Even the no drinking on the band’s tab. They are the ones working(playing the gig). I had an ex girl that thought like you, that’s why she’s an ex

      • Kanna-Chan

        And I bet you never became a good band either.

    • Um, no

      So by saying to respect yourself, have your own identity outside of being your partners plus one, and to understand that the band is their job, it’s sexist? It works both ways hon. That’s how the performance world is. Musicians and actors, it’s what you have to deal with. Weird and changing schedules. odd hours. And with talking/flirting with fans, even groupies, thats part of their job. It makes more fans when you have a personal interaction with a band member. They’re supposed to schmooze to gain more business. Basically just trust them to not be a douchebag and cheat, because they likely won’t.and if they do they’re an asshole you don’t need to be with anyways.

  • Chela Rhea Harper

    Honestly this is 50% hilarious and 50% true. I’m a female musician and it goes both ways. While they may have had a little fun with the content, the foundation of the information made me remember the many occasions which lead me to being a single musician. If you are a man dating a female musician… read these rules. Goes both ways.

  • Bartender

    Jesus Christ. Get over yourselves, I’m sure some guy in a shitty garage band made this because his 18 year old girlfriend he sneaks into shows acted like this before. I’m a bartender and I’m so tired of dudes in bands thinking they are some kind of celebrity. Just feel lucky you found some sucker to date you if you have that kind of attitude.

    • Katt Nelson

      Kind of just sounds like a list created as an excuse for dudes in bands to put themselves on a pedestal to compensate for something.

  • Lauren

    How true…I love this!! Every S/O of a band member needs to read this!

  • Mommarocks

    If you’re a musician of either gender the best partner you can have has the ability to set up a pa, has spare equipment if yours goes haywire, can fix broken strings and tune the instrument, retrieve lyrics and chords for a request in a heartbeat, knows the directions to every gig and gets you there on time, stays sober, and never gets chummy with the groupies. Anything less than that is just arm candy.

  • ACK2014

    Rules for dating while being in a band. Remember that ‘girl’ you have all those rules for is likely going to be the one supporting your ass so be nice to her.

  • defhigh

    shorter version:

    1. fuck off, until he wants sex with you.
    2. after he’s done, fuck off

  • fairplay

    If you do not understand art or artists, and are not willing to study it, don’t destroy an artist by putting yourself in their life. That goes for men and women.

  • Karl Meischen

    Super sexist crap here. So musicians are only men? :facepalm:

  • Lucy

    Ladies unless you are willing to stay home and pay all the bills while he is out parting all night and sleeping all day and doing god knows what to god knows who and calling it work. Stay away from musicians… Speaking from Experience.

  • Kelsey D

    So basically this Is a list of reason to stay away from guys in bands.

    • duuuuuuuh…

      Such Bs. Immature stuff here. In other words. All the little boys in these “bands” are making excuses for the “little boy things they do by blaming their so called girlfriends. No wonder the world doesnt have hardly any real MEN in it. Please girls dont settle with these lost puppies.

  • Kelsey D

    Not that these rules aee bad rhe way that they are written is rude and deucey.

  • 0 man

    Look at it this way ladies……. I (He) was in the band before you met him, don’t try and change him, he can dump you just as fast as he picked you up…………………….

  • Musicmanly

    I am a musician… And I say, “Be you, no matter what that means, follow your heart and do what feels right.” If for some reason I don’t like who you are. That’s my business. And along with being you, no matter what, that includes being honest about your opinions. If my song sucks, state your mind… I’ll pick out which criticism to accept and which to dismiss. Its my song after all, but if I’m in a relationship with you, it probably means I think you are cool, and I value your opinion, so speak up. Come see me whenever you want, if I don’t want you to be there, I’ll try my best to find a way to tell you that without making you feel bad. Because I obviously have a good reason, even if that good reason is nothing more than. “I just want to get away from you for a little bit” I’m just being honest, don’t get all butthurt. I’ll see you soon and until then, rest assured that your patience and support is the best thing you can give me.

  • Dar

    Kinda think it’s an individual thing. I’ve seen performers that treat their partner with respect and consideration. Not all performers feel the need to exploit their own status.

    • Darla

      So true there are many artists out there who love & respect their partners and so many damn fine songs written about human’s falling in love and wanting to be together forever that we can be reasured not all muso’s are as shallow as the writer of these rules is suggesting.

  • Katt Nelson

    An addition to rule #6 should be “if you impregnate someone because you didn’t bring a damn condom, take accountability and be the damn father”. Being in a band does not excuse you from this.

    • Katt Nelson

      and in response to “also don’t get so drunk that you embarrass your boyfriend or his bandmates”, how about a rule for guys in bands and how to date girls that says “your girlfriend can drink as much as she wants and have her own fun and if that embarrasses you maybe you’re a shitty boyfriend”