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How to Think Twice and Avoid Fights

June 29, 2012 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Dating

how to avoid fights

By Nick Notas

I’m proud of how much I’ve grown in my relationships over the last few years.  I don’t let the small things that cause big fights get to me as often anymore. Yesterday, I wanted to find out where this change stemmed from and I found it in one simple concept…

Does it even matter? Ask yourself if you’ll still be upset or care about this issue in a year. How about in a month? A week? A day? Once you accept that you won’t care or even remember why you’re angry, things seem so trivial. You realize how much energy you expend on things soon forgotten and see they’re not worth the negative feelings.

When you cut out the useless quarrels in a relationship, you have more time to strengthen your bond with your partner. Rather than arguing over who was supposed to do the dishes, why not do them together and spend the night enjoying each other? Why not compromise and calmly work things out? You can do them tonight and she’ll do them tomorrow.

The arguments we have on insignificant topics are often damaging to our relationships. We get angry, hurt, resentful, and feel distant from each other. If things get bad enough, they can even tear us apart. It was a powerful experience when I realized that I was sabotaging my own relationships and causing them unnecessary harm.

I get it, you’re eventually going to disagree and fight about something — it’s impossible not to. I still have my disagreements from time to time except now I choose my battles wisely. I focus on points that actually mean something and that need to be addressed in the relationship. It’s helped me be more rational, open-minded, and makes for productive changes instead of destructive ones.

Let the small things roll off your back — trust me, they’re not worth it. Next time you feel yourself getting flustered, think about if it’ll matter in a few days. Most of the time, that answer is no.

Check out more awesome dating advice from Nick at The Dating Specialist



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One Response to “How to Think Twice and Avoid Fights”

  1. The Mouser Says:
    July 1st, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    There’s another thing: when an argument’s about wanting to get all the power all the time, sooner or later (if you win) you end up with a partner you no longer respect at all, a total doormat, then you’ve basically ended the relationship.

    Give and take means you’re not grinding your partner down and turning them into (in your own mind at least) someone you totally despise.

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