I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what it was. But for all my life I haven’t been a man.
At any point in my life I can say “this, this is why I didn’t need to grow up”.
I was protected by my parents.
I was protected by the money I earned.
I was protected by people going easy on me.
And never did I take responsibility. Never did I work hard. Never did I do things because they needed to be done – instead I just did the minimum to get around – and for the rest found excuses.
I have lived like a child, all my life.
And I am in my twenties and still I live like a child.
I complain about the things I lack – instead of working for them.
I complain about the things others don’t do – instead of doing them myself.
I worry about what might come – but I don’t plan anything.
I pity myself in my sadness or worries – instead of acting upon them.
I wonder why I sit alone at home – instead of going out and making friends.
I hate myself for not learning the skills or languages I want to learn – instead of making the effort.
All my life I have lived like a child. All my life I was too scared or worried or lazy or distracted or immature to stand up and say:
This is what I want, and I will make it happen.
This is the person I want to meet and I will meet him.
This is the job I want and I will fight my ass off to get it.
This is the book I need to know and I will sit down and I will not eat or drink until I have finished it.
This is the world I want to conquer and I will not give up until I have conquered it.
Now is the time. Now is the time that I need to stand up and fight.
Because else it is too late.
The longer I wait, the longer I keep thinking and speaking and acting like a child, the longer I will stay a child.
The longer I wait, the more unreachable will my goals become.
The longer I wait, the shorter is the time that I can be a man.
The longer I wait, the more of my life will I have wasted.
Today is the day I will become a man.
Today is the day I will think like a man, speak like a man and act like a man.
Today and every day from now:
I will be there for those that need me.
I will stand up for what is right.
I will do what needs to be done.
I will fight for what I want.
I will persevere, even when things get hard.
I will work even when I feel lazy.
I will do sport even when my body aches.
I will learn even when my mind feels numb.
I will meet people even when I’m scared.
I will speak when I need to speak.
I will work when I need to work.
I will be what I want to be.
Today I will be a man.