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Lets Take A Moment Out Of Our Day And Ponder This For A Minute

September 12, 2012 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Life, Writing

future

by HuggableBear 

Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older, but every day I see something like this and think to myself "Holy crap. We are living in the fu*king future right now."

I mean, I carry a computer in my pocket. Not something that kinda works like a computer, not a "computer", but a real life, honest-to-god fu*king pocket computer. And it’s 1000 times more powerful than the behemoth I used to download shietty porrn on 20 years ago that cost multiple thousands of dollars.

And then I realize, HOLY Fuk THIS THING DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A CORD. It just magically pulls smut out of the ether like some fu*king electronic porrn fairy. I don’t even have to type one-handed anymore, I can just use a dictation program to make girls feel uncomfortable in chat rooms.

Or, if I’m feeling brave, I can even call some girl and make her feel even more uncomfortable because my pocket computer is ALSO A PHONE. If I’m feeling frisky I could just send her a picture of my junk 5 seconds after I take it. No waiting, no postage, no cutting letters out of magazines. Nothing. Just point, shoot, creep. Because the computer-phone in my pocket? It’s also a camera. THAT’S RIGHT A MOTHERFukING CAMERA. How’s that for futuristic?

But wait, I’m not done. Let’s say that girl doesn’t want to see my junk anymore and stops taking my phone calls. I can find a zoomable aerial map of her house and then THE FukING GPS INSIDE MY PHONE-CAMERA-PORRNFAIRY-COMPUTER will find me the shortest route to her house. It will even find me a hardware store on the way, and if it’s still open, I can even buy some duct tape, a chainsaw, some garbage bags, and a shovel and have them waiting for me at customer service to be picked up when I get there.

I don’t care what anyone says, we are living in the future, and it is truly a magical time.

(via)



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  • The Mouser

    Come on, this is pitiful, not funny.


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