Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older, but every day I see something like this and think to myself "Holy crap. We are living in the fu*king future right now."
I mean, I carry a computer in my pocket. Not something that kinda works like a computer, not a "computer", but a real life, honest-to-god fu*king pocket computer. And it’s 1000 times more powerful than the behemoth I used to download shitty porn on 20 years ago that cost multiple thousands of dollars.
And then I realize, HOLY FUCK THIS THING DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A CORD. It just magically pulls smut out of the ether like some fu*king electronic porn fairy. I don’t even have to type one-handed anymore, I can just use a dictation program to make girls feel uncomfortable in chat rooms.
Or, if I’m feeling brave, I can even call some girl and make her feel even more uncomfortable because my pocket computer is ALSO A PHONE. If I’m feeling frisky I could just send her a picture of my junk 5 seconds after I take it. No waiting, no postage, no cutting letters out of magazines. Nothing. Just point, shoot, creep. Because the computer-phone in my pocket? It’s also a camera. THAT’S RIGHT A MOTHERFUCKING CAMERA. How’s that for futuristic?
But wait, I’m not done. Let’s say that girl doesn’t want to see my junk anymore and stops taking my phone calls. I can find a zoomable aerial map of her house and then THE FUCKING GPS INSIDE MY PHONE-CAMERA-PORNFAIRY-COMPUTER will find me the shortest route to her house. It will even find me a hardware store on the way, and if it’s still open, I can even buy some duct tape, a chainsaw, some garbage bags, and a shovel and have them waiting for me at customer service to be picked up when I get there.
I don’t care what anyone says, we are living in the future, and it is truly a magical time.