Over a year ago I sat in my computer chair typing a goodbye post to the readers and customers that I spent 5 years of my life teaching and working with. I tried to explain why I was leaving a company that I built with no plan to ever return.
Today I am sitting that same chair trying to type a post that I have wanted to share with people for over a year. There is A LOT of bull shiet that SOME coaches and companies shove down the throat of the consumer to SELL you shiet. I am here today as in insider to dispel that BS and give you actual advice and I’m not going to charge you a dime or make you visit my website because I want more hits. Out of all my 5+ years involved in the dating scene & teaching these are the most important lessons that I could EVER give anyone.
1) Your Appearance Matters, Fix it.
Dating coaches like to say that looks don’t matter and thus work on your game. They are liars. Looks matter for more reasons than you know. First off, looks matter because women value men that they are going to show off to their family and friends. If you look like a wreck she won’t show it off. Think about your first car? Was it a pile of shiet? Rusted, maybe broken down? You don’t want to show that off, you just want it to fill the void until you can upgrade, welcome to the world of women.
Secondly, your appearance matters because it is an outward expression of how you feel about yourself. It shows your self-discipline and dedication to who you think you are. If you value something you take care of it, period.
Lastly, I have learned time and time again that a very high quality woman will sleep with guys who aren’t that physically attractive but they RARELY get in relationships with them. If someone tells you looks don’t matter then they are lying or don’t know WTF they are talking about. Looks can be DRASTICALLY improved by educating yourself.
2) Attraction isn’t something you do, it’s something that you become.
Want to know how to build attraction? Become attractive. Words, lines, routines, banter, all this BS people shove down your throat isn’t what women find attractive. What women find attractive is the person delivering these things. Attraction at its core is self confidence and when you actually talk TO a girl instead of talking ABOUT her, you are starting to teach yourself confidence, this is why approaching works, it teaches guys to overcome their fear and replace it with confidence.
Here is how to become attraction rather than ACTING like you are attractive.
Develop a since of fashion and look good EVERYTIME you walk out that door. Take care of your body, lose weight fix your smile do whatever you have to do. SMILE like you know something they don’t. Watch and study people who are attractive, IE James Bond & Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl). Slow down. Relax, stop reacting so fast. Make eye contact with people. Socialize with people. Do fun things in your life, IE live your passions, travel, learn about wine, scotch, culture.
3) Men tend to look for sex objects and women tend to look for success objects.
Success comes in many forms depending on the woman evaluating the man. Coaches and companies drop the ball here because they don’t tell you how to actually KEEP the girl interested. Guys, flat out honest advice here, fix your lifestyle. If you are bringing a girl back to your mom’s basement you are not “cool” you are a serial killer. All the awesome clothes and cars in the world aren’t getting you past that one. If your place looks more like a Goodwill than a home, you might want to work on that. Because women usually don’t go to Goodwill to have sex. Fix your life before you fix your game. Success starts at your home NOT at the bar. Keep your house/room clean, smelling amazing and NICE. Don’t know how to do that, fuking learn.
4) Confidence is Almost Everything.
Coaches and companies miss the mark here when they try to sell you lines rather than the truth. The truth is, confidence is everything when it comes to women. I say to people all the time it’s amazing what you get away with in life and love when you have a suit and a confident smile. I am not going to sit here and talk about the countless stories I have and sell you some BS product, I am giving you the straight forward truth. Confidence is everything in life and love and whether you find it in the pickup community or a monastery in Thailand, you must learn to create it in your own life. Confidence is the key to unlocking the rest of your goals in life. I spent my entire life learning how to create confidence in my own life and I can say that it has been among the greatest gifts that I have given myself.
5) Being a Value Giver.
How we value ourselves come through in the people that we talk to, how we value other people is a tell tale sign of a confident man or an arrogant man. When you give value to other people regardless of their sex, race, religion and attractiveness to you, you are bringing people up rather than putting them down like so many others do. There is a lot of negativity in this world today but being a person who gives value is about giving freely without expectation or reservation. An arrogant man insults and seeks to make himself better than others around him and a self confident man seeks to better the people around him. Why does this matter when it comes to women? If you have to ask that question, you are already doing it wrong. Giving value to others is about THEM, not YOU. If you have to ask what is in it for me then you are already being a taker rather than a giver. When you give value to others you come from a place of selfLESSness, not selfishness. When you seek to better the people around you, you will notice a lot of other things fall into place, but please don’t believe me, TRY IT.
6) You Don’t Need A Coach or Company To Teach You.
My students never needed me, they wanted to learn and get a different perspective on things because they were confused. Every student I had came to me with one thing in common, they wanted confidence. The fact of the matter is you don’t NEED a dating coach, the dating coach NEEDS you or they are broke. Why am I telling you this? Because you should expect more than old rehashed lines and routines from the people you pay money to. There are MANY good teachers and companies out there and I encourage you to find them if you want a coach but know that you can do this 100% on your own. If you work on developing a sense of style, hit the gym, eat right, socialized and be a willing participant to break the walls of fear that have kept you from succeeding you WILL be successful with women.
I could write several articles on many other things regarding this topic but I will finish here by saying the following. Life is meant to be lived outside the confines of a message board. Pursue the passions that you have inside of you because life isn’t a dress rehearsal. When you find what you are passionate about you awaken a fire inside of you and women see that. Passions will come and go, and this is ok but along the journey don’t give into fear because something is uncomfortable, embrace it and define it.