Why is it that women flock to some men and ignore others? Is it because of looks, confidence, humor, enthusiasm, personality, status, etc?
Depending on the circumstances and the girl, any one of these ‘reasons’ could be the deciding factor, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that these are all symptoms of something deeper, something more fundamental. They are the outward expression of a single ‘rule’ for attracting women.
The problem with most dating advice is that it focuses on developing or exhibiting these traits and ignores the actual cause of these traits. It focuses on ways to ‘fake it’ and get around your inability to attract women.
Some advice involves lying or making up stories to make you seem more attractive. Other advice involves various flavors of changing who you are to make a girl like you.
These methods can work in the short term, but that doesn’t make them right, and in the long term, they usually leave you unhappy because you are rejecting who you really are just so you can get a girl to like you.
The key to becoming attractive is to avoid studying tricks and tactics and work on the inner cause of what makes you an attractive person.
What you really need to attract women
The reason why some men struggle to attract women, or for that matter, anything they want into their lives is thatthey lack a genuine love for who they are. They don’t respect who they are, they don’t like certain things about themselves, and they don’t even believe that they deserve to have the pleasure of a beautiful, confident woman in their lives.
This is the root of almost all problems men have with women. If you loved yourself, you would take care of your body, you would exude self confidence, you would be comfortable starting conversations with people, you would be fun to be around, etc.
So, the most important thing you can do for yourself, starting today, is to love who you are. You’ve got to believe that you are valuable and worthy of being loved before any woman will give you the time of day.
Rule #1: love yourself above any and all women.
I’ve never met anyone who truly loves themselves who is unhappy or unable to attract women.
Why is this rule so important?
If you love yourself, you will be happy and excited about your life, making you a fun person to be around.
If you love yourself, you will be extremely secure and confident in who you are and your ability to deal with what the world throws at you.
If you love yourself, you will not chase after women or compete for them, you will start to attract them into your life because you realize that you are a high value man. You become the prize that they should seek.
If you love yourself, you won’t let the inevitable rejection bring you down. You’ll learn and move on.
If you love yourself, you will believe that you deserve happy, fulfilling relationships.
If you love yourself, you will start to see shallow women for what they are and you will naturally become more selective, again, making yourself the prize.
It breeds confidence, security, happiness, and self respect. It gives you the capacity to love others. It allows you to share who you are with the world, to freely express yourself, and to give to others because you are no longer worried about what’s in it for you.
You no longer fear rejection because you don’t let the acceptance of others affect whether or not you accept yourself.
Learn to cultivate a love for yourself, for who you are now and who you want to become, and you will start to see women flock to you in droves.
How do you do it?
I’m sure this makes sense to you, but you’re probably wondering how to accomplish it. How can you rid yourself of insecurity and become your own biggest fan?
Well, it’s not easy and it will take work…and even then, self doubt will always be lurking nearby waiting to thwart your confidence. You see, nobody ever completely rids themselves of feelings of fear and insecurity, but those who believe in themselves and practice building self confidence, are able to push through these feelings and prove their self worth.
Self love boils down to 2 key steps: 1) Knowing who you want to be and 2) Living in a way that is consistent with who you want to be.
I’d like to leave you with some action steps to take TODAY, to start developing a deep self love that will make you more attractive to women and more successful in life.
1. Accept the things about yourself that you can’t change. Nobody is perfect. Everybody has things about themselves that they wish were different. Luckily, we have control over a lot in our lives and can often turn lemons into lemonade. However, there are some things that we can’t change. The first key to loving who you are is accepting that which you cannot change.
2. Develop a realistic self image of the person that you want to be in life. There’s a lot that goes into this, more than is within the scope of this article. Things like your goals, values, strengths, etc. What I really want you to think about and work on is the image you have of yourself when you close your eyes and think about who you are. How do you describe yourself? Your personality….your looks….your strengths….how do you handle various situations in life…what are your hobbies and interests…..what are your habits… Be able to answer these questions.
3. Come up with a list of actions that you need to do on a regular basis to support your ideal self image. If part of your self-image is that you want to be strong, one of your actions should be to go to the gym or to learn more about what it takes to be strong. If part of your self-image is that you want to be a leader, find ways that you can step up and lead something or learn more about becoming a leader. If you want to influence others, an action might be that you need to start expressing your ideas to others. If you want to be a ladies’ man, get out and start meeting women. Whatever traits you want to exhibit, make a list of actions that support these traits.
4. Remind yourself everyday of your ideal self image and then get out there and actually DO things that support that self image. Be the person you want to be. Over time, if you believe in that image of yourself and do things to support it, you will become that person, that ideal version of yourself.
Once you do these things and start living a life that you are proud of, you will develop strong self love. You will be so focused on living the way you want to live that you won’t even care what some girl thinks about you. This confidence and zest for life will make you irresistible to women.