In general, women have a very different way of communicating from men. You probably discovered this in elementary school when you accidentally made a girl cry, threw up your hands, and said, “I have no idea what just happened!” From that moment, you were wary of women because they’re so different.
Over time, you’ve figured out a thing or two about the opposite sex, and you now comprehend thatcommunication isn’t a two-way street. It’s a maze in the wilderness where you can easily get lost, struggle to survive, and die a painful death.
If you’re in a relationship or pursuing the woman of your dreams, it’s worth your time to know what women mean when they ask or say cryptic things. Otherwise, you are doomed.
I’ve consolidated advice from friends and family into a list about what women really mean when they say, ask, or suggest certain things. If you want to make a woman happy, read on.
1. She asks, “How do I look in this dress?”
“Baby, you look fantastic!” is your only response. She needs the bootyurance. It emotionally razzes her berries. Just give it to her.
2. If she asks anything that begins with “Don’t you want to…?”
Yes. You want to. It’s not actually a question. It’s what you will ultimately do.
3. “Do you really like [insert show/movie/book/activity/food/etc]?”
No, no you really don’t. In fact, you hate it. No questions. No whimpering.
4. If you all are deciding where to eat, where to go, what to get, etc. and she says, “You pick.”
5. She asks, “Are you going to wear that?
You shouldn’t wear it. Take it off. Burn it. She disapproves of your attire. If she doesn’t say you look sharp, you’re duller than a wet noodle.
The remaining questions and comments are for men in relationships. However, even if you’re not a relationship, you might be there sooner than you think…so read on.
6. “I’m worried about your health.” or “Have you been getting enough sleep?”
You’re too busy and/or you’re not spending enough time with her. She’s thinking, “You’re working or exercising or participating in a time-consuming activity where you’re not spending time with me and/or you’re not getting enough sleep. And when you don’t get enough sleep, you’re an ogre.”
7. “Are you hungry?”
You’re being a grump. She wants to know if your grumpiness is because your tummy hurts. Start being nice, immediately.
8. “I need space.”
Lies. Women hate space. That means she’s going to pull back and stop doing things that she thinks are propping up your relationship to see if you love her enough to get your act together and do more for her.
Women ask and say all these things because they:
1. Want to be loved and admired
2. Want you to care enough to know what they want without having to tell you
3. Offer subtle criticism that you must implement most expeditiously