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The Truth Behind The ‘Evil Forces’ In Star Wars…Potential For Childhood To Be Ruined!

March 27, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Writing

by Hung Lee

Plot Summary
Religious fundamentalists conspire with militant insurgents to launch a terrorist attack on the greatest symbol of hegemonic power. The destruction of the Death Star results in the loss of thousands of innocent lives on board, and subsequently triggers an intergalactic conflict resulting in the loss of hundreds of thousands more. Movie ends with the surviving insurgents feted as heroes before cheering crowds for this unprecedented outrage. 

Luke Skywalker

Naive peasant boy radicalised into insurgency after witnessing the death of family resulting from the shoot first, ask questions later military culture of the superpower of the day. 

Han Solo

Drug runner, murderer and underworld figure, happy to transport terrorists on don’t ask, don’t tell basis. 

Ben Kenobi

Religious fanatic hiding in a remote desert location seeking the restoration of theocracy through the radicalisation naive rural youth. Would later martyrs himself in order to provide further motivation for the next generation of religiously inspired insurgents

The Empire Strikes Back

Plot Summary
War of Imperial over reach as the incumbent power reacts to terrorism by launching an unending war across the galaxy. The films main protagonist, by now a fully radicalised insurgent, attends a remote training camp to take instruction directly from the mastermind of the insurgency; meanwhile, terror suspect Han Solo is ‘rendered’ by military contractors working for the Empire, destined for an unspecified fate in a territory outside the rule of law. 

Boba Fett

Military contractor employed to kidnap and ‘disappear’ the enemies of government, removing problems whilst keeping the record books clean. 

Darth Vader

Military commander and hero of the Empire; leading scourge of the insurgency, and superpower’s best hope for stability and peace

Lando Calrissian

Raconteur, war profiteer and corrupt bureaucrat, Calrissian was quick to betray the insurgency, only to find that the superpower has a habit of changing the deal. 

The Return of the Jedi

Plot summary
Prison break of terrorist commander Han Solo, leading to the massacre of hundreds of by-standers. Rebel insurgency plans another terrorist attack, this time co-opting primitive local tribes into the conflict. The natives are used as disposable cannon fodder, whilst the insurgents plant yet more bombs onto government property. Trilogy ends with the assassination of leadership of the government, overturning the galactic order and throwing the known universe into an uncertain future with the way left open for religious fundamentalism to once again take a steering role in public life. 

Ewoks

Co-opted tribesmen, fighting for a cause they don’t understand. Hundreds die as they practice asymmetric warfare against technologically superior forces of Empire.

Palpatine

Head of State, who until the last moment, attempted to negotiate an end to hostilities, despite having every advantage in the conflict. Pays the ultimate price for his magnanimity when betrayed by the jihadist sleeper agent, whose hidden loyalties are finally triggered by the deeply embedded emotional cues. 

Yoda

Religious leader and mastermind of the insurgency, now specialising in the conversion of young adherents into unthinking fanatics for the cause. Preached the value of belief over reason, endorsed martyrdom for the cause and promised everlasting life for those who would lay down their lives for the old religion

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

..a young man told a story that would become the greatest sci-fi trilogy ever committed to film. It would become an accidental allegory, prophetic in hindsight, with its subversion remaining hidden in plain sight and still unknown to the millions who have seen it

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  • Ghosntghy

    Eh…. “Chasing Amy” beat you to the punchline