When I’m one of the only ones who actually BYOB to a party
When I typed “boobs” into Google’s new animated image search
When it’s finals week and I slept through my alarm.
When my wife, who wants to get pregnant, comes home after a night shift while ovulating
When the morning coffee hits the stomach
When all my classes get cancelled today…except my 8:30 AM.
When I drop my pen on the floor during class
When I step in the shower before the water has warmed up…
When my wife is on her period
How I imagine I look while being tickled
Whenever I prove my know-it-all friends wrong
Whenever I make a joke during a presentation that no one understands or laughs at
When I start and finish a 12 page essay the night before it’s due
Reading Facebook and coming across an accidentally-posted nude
When I see a hot woman on the street