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5 Reasons to Stop Putting Women On Pedestals

April 24, 2013 | 5 Comments » | Topics: Dating

friendzone bridge

by George P.H.

If you’re a man, you have to agree there’s something magical about women. Like a beautiful sunset, a snow-capped mountain or a gorgeous painting, the right girl will make you lose your breath.

It’s all too easy to get overwhelmed by this feminine beauty, whether internal or external. When this happens, men put women on pedestals and treat them like objects of admiration instead of real people.

In my case, it took some rough wake-up calls to realize that girls are, more or less, just like us. When I finally “got it,” girls started hitting on me a lot more often; my relationships with girls improved tremendously.

I’d like the same change to happen for you. To make that happen, here are 5 reasons to stop putting women on pedestals.

1. This Just In: Women Are Human!

Imagine you’re on a date with a girl who ignores everything you say and just keeps complimenting your looks. No matter how amazing or into you she is, you’ll be creeped out since she likes you superficially and doesn’t care about the real you.

This is how girls feel about guys who place them on pedestals.

Yes, women are amazing. They look beautiful and being around them feels beautiful. But when you admire them instead of communicating person-to-person, they can tell you’re being shallow and fake from a mile away.

Admiring the opposite sex is one of my favorite pastimes, but remember that women are people – not objects to be admired!

2. The Madonna-Whore Complex Will Screw You Up

The Madonna-Whore complex is when you view all women as “either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitute-like personalities.” (My buddy Rami of Gutsy Geek has a great post about this right here.)

Now back to the topic at hand.

When a man puts a woman on a pedestal, he’s also elevating her to Madonna status. He’s attracted to an imagined “purity,” and ignores her sexuality. This is why guys find it hard to make a move on “that one special girl”; their mind tells them she’s not a sexual being.

This is the kiss of death for any relationship. If you put a girl on a pedestal to the point where you can’t be sexual with her, you’ll never have her. And even if you do get her, the relationship will leave both of you unsatisfied sexually.

3. They Don’t Want To Be Above You

Men who put women on pedestals are always trying to win them over. They turn pleasing the girl into their #1 priority; friends, hobbies and work come second.

The ironic thing is, no woman wants to be the biggest part of her guy’s life. If you don’t believe me, look at Twilight – the franchise every girl seems to be crazy about. 

Does Bella fall for Jacob, the guy who’s ready to do anything for her? Hell no! She goes for the dude who always has something else to do and is outwardly unsure whether he wants her or not.

Learn from this and remember that there’s more to life than girls. Don’t turn them into a #1 priority; nobody wants that.

4. They’re Far From Perfect

Both sexes have their own screw ups; overall, we balance each other out. But as a man, you might get distracted by a girl’s beauty and feminine energy and forget this.

My big wake-up call was seeing two girls, best friends for over a decade, fight over me. It was a random event that could happen to anyone, but it was way outside my reality at the time.

Afterwards, I knew girls weren’t the pony-loving, rainbow-riding, lavender-water-peeing angels I thought they were. They were human and capable of mistakes. Remember the same thing and you’ll do well.

5. Because You’re #1!

To quote Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

If you think you’re a great person who deserves the best from life, you’re right.

If you think you’re a horrible person who deserves nothing, you’re right.

If you put women on pedestals and think they’re better than you, you’re right.

Life will simply give you whatever you believe you deserve! So if you put women on pedestals, you’re giving away your own power. Why would you do that?

This is your life: it’s your movie and you’re the star. The only person you should be putting on a pedestal is yourself.

I love women; if you’re a straight man, it’s hard not to. But as beautiful and amazing as they are, they’re no better or worse than us. We need them; they need us; why place anyone on a pedestal when we can all have fun being equal?

 

Check out more awesome articles by George P.H. at The Man-Up Blog



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  • Jamie McBride

    If she walks on my back…she better give it up.

  • http://twitter.com/jaczor Jose

    Good advice, although it’s very hard to actually put it in practice when it doesn’t come natural to you. One thing though, if you are giving advice to men, why the hell would you use twilight as an example? I had no idea what he was talking about in that part (as a straight man, I haven’t and wont watch twilight).

  • ELC

    As a woman, THANK YOU for saying this. It’s spot-on, from a female perspective.

  • Hasso Bang

    Thanks i love your writings
    They motivates me tremendously :)

  • Hasso Bang

    Thanks i love your writings
    They motivates me tremendously :)


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