One Of The Greatest American Novel, The Great Gatsby, Accurately And Concisely Summed Up In The Styling Of 4chan

April 29, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Writing

great gatsby

by krizalid70559

Be student that wants to learn about bond

move to this new city called West egg in Long island

Only relatives I have at this place is my cousin, Daisy

She’s a solid 7/10, married to some compulsive asshole named Tom

Cheats on her with this whore, Myrtle, who is also married

Tom keeps his relationship in the down low and always have sex parties with Myrtle and bunch of plebs

Be at dinner with Daisy and Tom when first arrived

introduced me to Jordan, she’s pretty cute, 8/10

started dating

Learn about this "legendary guy" named Jay Gatsby

Jay is this rich guy that throw amazing parties, rich, charming, as alpha as you can get basically

Got invited to his party, about to shiet my pants

went to the party, first intimidated by Jay

He called me old sport, English gentleman type

totally cool, doesn’t have an ego or anything

started chit chatting away about his past

found out that he actually knows my cousin Daisy from back in the day

bought his house, located in the East Egg, which is directly across the river from Daisy’s house

would peak at the house at night just to get a glimpse of her

stalker mode

After party, found out that Jay and Daisy already started hooking up

fast forward a couple of days

That whore Myrtle be taunting Tom about Daisy will cheat on Tom with Jay

Tom punched Myrtle in the nose for being a whore

Tom took the bait

drove all the way to meet Gatsby, confront him

Found Jay and Daisy together, flipped shiet

told Daisy that Jay is actually an alcohol bootlegger, which is why he is so rich

Daisy is uncertain, due to moral reason she decided to side with tom

Later found out Gatsby truck hit Myrtle

Jay explained that it was Daisy who was driving the truck when it happened

Jay decided to take the blame because he’s a manly man, alpha as fuk

Tom’s a sore loser at this point, took the opportunity to ruin Jay

Told Myrtle’s husband George that Jay killed his wife, add a bunch of random bullshiet to make George mad

pleb George is retarded so took the bait and raged

Went over to Jay’s house, found Jay swimming in the pool

shot him, then fuking killed himself because George is a coward faggot

TFW my alpha British bro just died

Decided to hold a funeral, barely anyone showed up

too jaded to stay in this shietty town

broke up with Jordan and went back home

MFW I am Nick.