When my jam comes on in a club
Whenever my boss walks past
When I overcook the steak.
When I’m drunk and try to order food
When I got my first blowjob
When my friend tells me that he quit drinking
When my parents started talking about where each of their kids was conceived
When I see that a friend forwarded an email to get $10,000 from Bill Gates or ‘liked’ a photo to help a little girl get a new heart.
W my friends tell me I cant do something and I do it
When my teacher tells us to find a partner for our next assignment
When the person next to me at dinner orders what I wished I had
When my girlfriend tells me I’ve left my computer unlocked and she’s going to go on it
When I check my bank account after a heavy night of drinking
When I forget to bring my phone to the bathroom