If Anyone Wants To Regret An Hour And A Half Of Their Life, Watch THIS

June 4, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies

fantastic four the movie

I bought it from a comic-con about ten years ago. He had it hidden under the table. It was very much like buying a monkeys’s paw from a bazaar in Morocco. The wrinkly old man in the crimson robe (to be fair he was dressed like a sith lord) warned me. “I will sell it to you, but you must never watch it. For if you do bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.” So I said “yeah whatever.” And threw my ten bucks at him whilst snatching it from his hand. I quickly returned home to watch it. The horrors contained inside that little blue box can’t be described. The acting, the effects, the mole men! Oh god why? Since then I’ve lost my job, my wife left me, and my pets keep dying. I can’t sell or trade the damn thing because I don’t want anyone else to go through what I’ve seen. So it just sits there on my DVD shelf waiting to claim it’s next victim.