How To Choose The Right Person For You

October 30, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating

by Nick Notas

When you’re looking to build a healthy relationship, how do you make sure someone is right for you?

For a long time, I had no idea.

So I asked other people what they looked for in a partner, and I got answers like…

“A sense of humor, attractiveness, intelligence, creativity, sexual compatibility, passion, an active lifestyle, a stable career.”

I knew those qualities were important. I had some of them myself, and even looked for them in women. But something was missing. The women I really liked and dated, always broke it off first.

After a breakup, I asked a former boss who had been happily married for over 20 years for advice. He just said…

“Do they respect you?”

This simple guideline has profoundly changed the relationships in my life.

Once you like someone, respect is the first thing you should be screening for. And you should continue to do so as the relationship deepens.

None of the other qualities will matter if you aren’t treated well. The novelty will eventually wear off and you will feel used, abused, frustrated, and want out.

By prioritizing your self-respect you immediately:

  1. Avoid wasting time on unfulfilling relationships that make you feel miserable.
  2. Spend time being happy and building healthy relationships with good people.
  3. Reinforce your self-worth. You stop holding on to people out of fear or comfort. You develop an abundance mentality. You give yourself the power of choice.

I understand it’s hard to define what “treat you well” means. But, I can share insight from my own relationships and the relationships I’ve helped.

Here are some traits you should expect in a partner who treats you well:

Fortunately, I always chose girls who were respectful to me. But I can’t say the same about how I treated them. And that’s why they left.

You can’t expect respect, nor will you get the respect you desire, if you don’t hold yourself to the same standard. Respect has to be mutual. A relationship can’t flourish without it.

Check out more awesome articles by Nick at The Dating Specialist