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Mackenzie Dern


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February 28, 2014 | No Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures

When I’m about to masturbate and I lock my door

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When the condom falls out of my wallet on the first date 

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When my ex-girlfriend calls after a year and tells me how much she regrets leaving me and that her life means nothing without me

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When our helicopter pilot bails out mid-air with four of us still inside in Battlefield 4

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When I was high at my vegetarian friends house 

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Growing up and my brother hit me right in front of my mom and gets away with it

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When my drug-head cousin, who I haven’t seen in years, asks me for money before even saying "hi" 

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When I show up at a party at the actual time given in the invitation 

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When I try to wink at a cute girl 

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When the hottest girl at work walks into the bathroom 30 seconds after I took the most foul dump

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When there’s a single donut left and I get asked if I want it 

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When my girlfriends says, "we need to talk."

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When I’ve got morning wood and my girlfriend steps out if the shower

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When I see a cute girl from behind but she turns around and has a butterface

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When I receive my first bill to payback my college loan

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When my girlfriend walks in on me fapping to something disgusting

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When I invite friends over and all I have to eat is a huge ass bag of rice

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