Why Do Girls Like A**holes So Much?

March 19, 2015 | 8 Comments » | Topics: Dating

by George P.H.

The first time I fell in love, I was 13. I wanted her to like me back so much I was prepared to do anything. I did my best to be nice, kind and giving – but none of it worked.

So I spent 2 years watching my first crush date asshole after asshole. She’d fall for the cheaters, the jerks and the guys who disrespected her. Every time, I was the one she cried to when things went wrong for the Nth time.

I didn’t get it. Here I was, giving her so much and ready to give more; we’d be great together… But she kept choosing them over me. She wasn’t the only one; over the years, many of the girls I liked ended up with assholes.

So when I finally decided to get with women, the first thing I wanted to know was, “why do girls like assholes so much?” – and whether I had to become one to be loved.

Here are the answers to those questions.

1. Girls Like Assholes because They’re Strong

Assholes have tough, dominant personalities. They’re not afraid to assert themselves over other people – in fact, they rarely show fear at all. They take what they want from life and don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

This is incredibly attractive because girls want to be with men who make them feel safe and protected. They like strong guys who know what they want and aren’t afraid to take it. Assholes have all those qualities – and so women choose them.

2. Girls Like Assholes because They Have Other Priorities

Women like successful, accomplished men. Just look at how they act around rockstars, actors, etc; success is an incredibly powerful aphrodisiac.

As an extension of that, girls are also attracted to guys who’ll be successful in the future. And what kind of man has the capacity to succeed? One who feels passionate and ambitious about his life’s goals, of course.

On the other hand, a man who puts his woman first is unattractive. There’s no challenge to him, his life has no great purpose: nothing sexy or interesting there.

By putting their women second, assholes project the potential for success. This is the second quality that makes them so attractive to women.

3. Assholes Create Emotional Ups & Downs, a.k.a. Chick Crack

A girl can talk to her friends for hours, whining about a guy who keeps being hot & cold; complaining how she can’t figure him out. (Some even make funky songs).

But at the end of the day, she’s talking about him, isn’t she?

Women are attracted to drama, mystery and challenges. They might not enjoy emotional ups and downs, but they’re attracted to the men who create them. Assholes are real good at that, which is the third reason chicks dig them.

4. Assholes are Direct

One of the most unattractive things about “nice guys” is how murky they are about what they want. They’re so busy trying to protect themselves from rejection that they don’t show the girl what they want from her.

This is extremely confusing to a woman. Try to put yourself in her position – imagine someone is being nice to you for no reason at all.

A stranger starts being nice to you on the street. You suspect he wants something – maybe money, maybe to sell you something – and so his niceness comes across as an act. You don’t know his intentions, which puts you on guard.

That’s how women feel about men who aren’t clear about what they want.

Assholes are always direct. They may not be nice, but at least they’re real – which is infinitely more attractive. This is the fourth and final reason women like them so much.

5. Main Point… You don’t have to be an asshole to be ANY of these things.

I spent so many years thinking girls like assholes… But I was wrong. After spending years talking to thousands of women, I can tell you that much for sure.

Look back at the previous four points. Do you really have to be a bad person to have any of those qualities?

You can be strong; you can have things going on in your life; you can learn to know when it’s time to keep your distance; you can be direct… And still be a great guy.

All the most attractive men I know are incredibly kind and generous. Being an asshole isn’t sexy or manly; when given a choice between a good guy and a bad guy with all of the above qualities, women will always pick the good guy.


Girls don’t like assholes. They like strong, challenging men with exciting lives. You don’t have to be a jerk to have all those attractive qualities – great news if you’re like me and enjoy being nice to people.

Yes, a very small minority of women confuses cruelty with strength. They’ll always be attracted to men who mistreat them – but you don’t want those girls anyway.

The ones you do want will appreciate your niceness and love you for it. Find them, attract them with your awesomeness and don’t be an asshole!

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  • Himes

    Because those sluts have daddy issues.

    • jakee308

      Daddy’s who ignored them issues.

  • stevden

    Women are female primates. The most advanced and sophisticated of course but they are still female primates, and are subject to the same driving instincts as other female primates.
    One of the main sexual instincts of female primates is what you could call a “Contempt for Familiarly” instinct. So the more familiar a female becomes with a male the less receptive she becomes to him sexually. for primates this helps to ensure genetic diversity. So with female primates it is always Gamma males(drifters) who are most desired by females, followed by alphas, then betas. Primate males on the fringes of social groups are most successful at finding receptive females. This is why almost all primate males eventually fall into drifting between social groups.
    We are very familiar with this in our human society. The “new guy on town” is always a favorite for the girls. This is why the “rebels” and the “drifters” are so romanticized.

    • Spartacross

      An interesting fact: gamma may be the third letter of the Greek alphabet but it sounds exactly like gama which means “copulate” (to put it politely).

  • Dan

    Unfortunately, men can only be assholes pre-marriage.

  • Peter Gauge

    The taste.

  • jakee308

    Don’t care what pseudonym they used for the author, this was written by a chick.

    Why do I say this? Because at the end they claim you don’t have to be an asshole to attract women/girls. Wrong.

    If you have any of the qualities named, you will at some point come across to someone as an asshole. Think about it. Your boss is an asshole sometimes right? Everyone of them is at some point. It’s part of being a boss.

    Thus if you are strong, self centered, self assured, unconcerned about what others think and tend to put your own goals ahead of others then at some point your going to be considered an asshole.

    Because women don’t understand this, this author assumes that guys can be all the things that women are attracted to and not be considered assholes.

    Don’t fall for this false assumption. You are better off being those things and forcing yourself to disregard any outside or self perceptions of being an asshole from the get go or you’ll be dating the losers.

  • Gordon

    This damn article is 35 years too late.