Never Stick Your D**k In Crazy…25 Guys Share The Most Insane ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ Stories

May 5, 2015 | 4 Comments » | Topics: TRUTH

1. She sent me a video of herself in underwear. Waved at the camera, took a blade to her wrist, wiped the blood into her fingers and waved goodbye. It was like a scene from a horror movie. Oh, and yes, she’s alive.

2. She threatened to kill me, killed my cat, and dabbled in identity theft. A month later asked that we be friends and that I, like she has tried to do, should not live in the past.

3. My ex tried to gain sympathy from me by cutting her forehead open with a pair of nail scissors after a night out and claiming she was attacked on her way home. I know because she left a pair of bloodied scissors on the bedside table like a complete fucking welly head.

4. She let her new beau molest my 2 daughters when they were just a few years old.

5. Planned to kill me, then tried to execute the plan. 30k worth of damage to my house and firing a shot at me when I got home.

6. Secretly tortured our 3yo son by locking him in the closet so she could go to Kmart to fuck random guys. Long story short I now have full custody and he’s in therapy as a happy 6yo with next to no real memory of that time.

7. Told me she had brain cancer. Constantly was calling me crying telling me how she wasn’t sure if she was going to live or not and all these surgeries she was having. Come to hear from her sister 6 months later none of any of that had happened

8. Mailed poop to me EVERY DAY for 3 weeks! We were only dating for less than 2 weeks

9. Ex wife told everyone I touched my stepdaughters, I never found out till years later as my family never told me, but found out because someone reported abuse by her new husband; they then fled the state to escape the investigatio. She is pure evil. 

10. My ex 10 years ago was an abusive alcoholic, I had enough of her false promises and constant crap that I just walked out…..

In the next few months she:

Would phone my house, drunk, gloating about who she’s fucked

Show up to my parents, drunk, demanding to talk to me…. Various times she was verbally abusive to my mother who basically told her to “fuck off before I call the cops”

Threatened to lie to police that I sexually abused her son.

Threatened to tell police that bruises on her body (from being drunk all the time and falling over a lot) was from me….. Ironically SHE was the one who beat me…..

Told my parents, 5 months after I left her, that she was 2 months pregnant and it had to be mine…. Yeah ok….

Threatened to get her son’s alcoholic junkie Dad to “do you in” for not answering her calls

Called my boss various times at work, demanding I be fired for being abusive to her at my workplace (supermarket). He laughed at her and told her finally she was banned from the shop for harassing his staff.

Probably more, but thinking about it makes me feel like crap….

11. After we separated, I left our chinchilla in her care. A few days later, I come back to retrieve some of my stuff and our chinchilla was dead. From the looks of it, he was starved to death. One of the things I regret in life was not taking him with me when I had the chance. This is one of the very few moments in my life where it hurts thinking about it.

12. Invited herself to my house when my dog was getting put down. On the same day, when she could she attempted to have sex with me. I was obviously unhappy and turned her down.

I came to school after the weekend (my dog was put down on Saturday) and she had told everyone that I had forced myself on her and raped her.

Later on (a month or so later) she called me and told me to get back with her, “or else”. I told her I can’t get back with her so she said she’d kill herself if I didn’t. I didn’t say anything, and she downed 70 something pills of potassium. Had a friend call the ambulance, she survived, but wasn’t too healthy for a little while.

Oh yeah, I was 16-17 when all of this happened.

3/10, would not do again.

13. Broke into my house every day for about a month while I was at work. Showered, cooked food, watched TV and then left before I got home. I came home early one day and she was sitting on the couch watching TV. She very matter of factly said “oh I didn’t think you’d be home at this time”. Asked how she got in – when we were dating I had lent her my keys once. She got one cut for herself without me knowing. Of course after arguing we had wild sex. Crazy bitch sex can be fun. But that was the second last time ever.

14. Told anybody that would listen that I beat her. When people asked why she stayed with me she said that the sex was good. She told everyone that I beat her. When I started dating someone new, the new woman’s mother had even heard the rumor and told her daughter. It’s been a decade and I am still mad about it. I never once laid a hand on her.

15. Left a voicemail on my phone of her having sex with her new boyfriend.

16. Called Child Protective Services on me, claiming I was abusing and neglecting my daughter. Let me tell you, it’s pretty hurtful when someone shows up at your house accusing you or being a shitty dad. CPS saw how well I was doing with my daughter and how loving I was, so that case got thrown out. Now, my ex just got arrested for stabbing a guy in the arm and is insisting I help bail her out.

17. She cut off contact with our 3-year-old daughter. She’s a developmentally challenged child who loves her mom but she doesn’t even take the time to call her or stop by to say hi to her. She lives less than 30 minutes away.

I’ve never been so pissed at something in my life. The last time she said she would watch her, I intentionally didn’t tell my daughter till we were walking out the door that we were going to see Mommy (didn’t want to get her hopes up). About 10 minutes into the drive, she calls and says she won’t be able to watch her.

My daughter doesn’t understand most things so I just stopped at an ice cream parlor nearby hoping she would forget about seeing mommy. I could tell she was crushed. Didn’t eat a bite. When we got back to the house she went straight to her room and went to bed. She’s usually the most bubbly person on the planet but she couldn’t even handle her Mom ditching her. I end up being the one getting blamed in her mind.

She stole thousands of dollars, ruined my professional and personal life and ruined our family financially and I could care less about any of it. But if you treat my daughter like a dog, there is nothing that is going to dissipate my anger.

18. My ex cheated on me for about 6 months without me knowing. We were in bed on night and she rolled over and said get out. I was in shock and had no idea what to do so I left. We had joint everything.. she cancelled my phone, took all the money I saved out of my accounts, kept my dog that I tried incredibly hard to get back but most of all she told her friends, my friends, her family and my family all over social media that I choked her and beat her and she left to save her own life. She even posted pictures of cuts and bruises she got from a car accident online saying they were from me. Her car got broken into at a mall and her stuff was stolen and she told the police it was me. After I proved to the police I was working they quickly looked the other way. After at least a year of trying to clear my name I met the guy who she cheated on me with. At first I wanted to tear his face off but after he bought me drinks I found out she did the same exact thing to him.

19. She turned one of the burners on my stove on “high” without it being lit.

We had been broken up for a couple of days and she was getting the rest of her belongings out of my house. I was at the gym and texted to see if she had finished up and received a text that she had and then I finished up lifting and headed home.

Got to my house and all the lights were off save for the porch light. Opened the front door and smelled gas. My first thought was that my furnace line had ruptured or something.

I left all of the lights off and went down into the basement to see if I could hear/smell anything near the furnace and the gas line but there was no gas smell in the basement.

I went back upstairs and checked the stovetop in the kitchen. Sure enough, one of the burners had been turned on ‘high’ and was not lit. I turned it off and proceeded to open all of the downstairs windows (in January) to vent the gas.

My first thought was that it couldn’t have been done intentionally because my thermostat kicking the furnace on, or me turning lights on could have blown me up. The problem was that the knob can’t just turn itself and you need to depress and then turn to light any of the burners.

Then I remembered what she told me once (jokingly I thought at the time) which was “if I can’t have you, no one will.” So yeah, bitch tried to blow me, my house, and my cats up.

20. My ex-girlfriend stopped by to visit. I had just eaten enough Chinese food at a buffet to be near pass-out. I was laying on the blowup mattress and I hear her growl “You son of a bitch” and then BOOM! She punched me in the teeth.

I asked her what the fuck her problem was. At the time I was broke so I didn’t have any furniture – everything was neatly placed in the room including my condoms. She counted and noticed one was missing from the last time she visited. I scrambled up and she spit in my face. I told her to leave and walked to the door.

That’s when she opened the cabinet, took out the toaster oven, and threw it at the side of my head. My head was ringing, glass all over the floor from the broken oven door, blood is trickling from my head, I was panicked. I didn’t want to hurt her but she HAD to leave immediately. I told her I’d call the cops if she didn’t leave. The whole time in between assaulting me she was frantically glancing around the room for other signs I was “cheating” (even though I was single) and for stuff to assault me with.

I opened the door to encourage her exit and she started screaming, she said she’d get everyone in the neighborhood thinking I was assaulting her. I pleaded with her to please leave and she started tearing into the bare skin of my chest with her nails, grabbing and pinching and pulling. I forced her out the door and locked it. She started bashing at the windows. Finally she got in her car and left.

I slid to the floor and called my parents, in complete shock and sobbing. I hadn’t experienced that kind of crazy in my life before. She just attacked me in a fit of rage. I didn’t want to hit her back I just wanted to be left alone. The whole experience had me wondering about the mental problems she must have been hiding the entire time we were together. I was so afraid she would do something crazy like wreck her car to get “revenge” on me, or hurt my dog, or call the cops with a fake story.

It’s been 5 years since that day and it’s thankfully hazy now – it’s hard to describe what a blur it was.

21. After three and half years of abuse and two children, my ex-wife decided she wanted to ruin my life. Had me arrested on false charges of domestic violence which led to a plea bargain due to the fact that we were living on my 10,000.00/year income. She refused to work the entire relationship. This led to a three-year probation which included “group therapy sessions” for abusers. During these sessions “patients were required to recount the episodes of abuse and explain where they “made mistakes”. Due to the fact that I hadn’t actually committed any abuse I was forced to lie, as lack of participation equals failure to abide by the requirements of the probation deal. This led to the judge threatening me with up to three years in prison. As a result we fled the country and set up shop in the Middle East. I was forced to join the army and served as a combat soldier for two years. During the second year of military service I finally grew some balls and told her I wanted a divorce. The resulting meltdown created a situation in which I was forced to flee my domicile. In the process I forgot to take my I.D. She spent the next year forging my signature on rent, phone, water, electrical and credit card contracts. To this day I am still paying off the 200,000-dollar debt she built up in my name. This figure does not include the debt she incurred using my I.D when she returned to the States. Oh and she illegally kidnapped my children when she fled the “middle east” to return to America. So yeah. I need a drink.

22. Took my cat and had him put down.

23. She flushed ALIVE all of my fish, and videoed herself doing it. She then sent me the video.

I had pet fish from before we got together. When we moved in together I brought my tank. When we eventually broke up I was the one who left the apartment because I had a closer living situation I could move into (back with my parents). I was to come by on Saturday to move out all of my things, including my fish. Thursday night comes and I get an email with a video in it, I open it to see my fish in a kitchen pot in the bathroom. She proceeds to pour them all into the toilet and I click away. I couldn’t watch, I called her dozens of times to no answer. Saturday comes, she’s not there as planned, and neither are my fish. 🙁

I know this will likely be buried and never read, but I just had to share. Hadn’t though about that in a long while. Still hurts.

24. In no particular order:

-Entered my apartment while I was at work and stole all my kitchen appliances and half my table settings.

-Sent a note to the apartment complex expressing my intentions to move out. I found out when they knocked on my door asking why I was still there.

-Told everyone that I was abusive (rather than admit we ended due to her cheating). I couldn’t even go to the Starbucks she worked at (whether she was there or not) because her coworkers believed her and would call the police if they saw me.

-(similar to above) She told my pastor at the time that I locked her in the bedroom, using a chair propped against it to prevent her escape and didn’t let her eat for a day. (This one was an amusingly bad lie, since the bedroom door opened into the room, making a propped chair impossible)

-Committed identity theft by using my SSN to phone in and have her credit card debt put in my name (about $4,000). I found out after being denied a loan two years later.

And this was all done by the same ex

25. My high school girlfriend started spreading lies about me to all of our friends, saying that I would beat her up and abuse her.

For example she said I would punch her in the mouth for smiling at me if I was in a bad mood, and that I treated her family like shit. There were some more horrible things being said, but what hurt me most is being told that I was an abusive bastard who kicked the shit out of her when I felt like it.

I learned who my true friends were after that. One of them apologized to me, thinking I knew that he slept with her while we were going out. I had no idea, and I just laughed in his face and gave him my condolences for the horror he had to endure.

The school got involved due to the rumors being spread and had a word with her about it, that’s when it all stopped being said.

Edit: No evidence [bruising or injuries] to back up her bullshit, and none of her friends had ever been told a bad word about me while we were going out. A lot of them stopped talking to her after that.

We were 15 when the relationship ended, but I got a new girlfriend some months later who I’ve been with for the last 8 years. No such complaints about her.

 

(via AskReddit)

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  • GhostFlame

    I don’t really have any crazy ex-girlfriend stories. They’re usually crazy as a girlfriend.
    After that, the rest just pales.

  • SeaFox

    I had one of those! We had a joint bank account! (99% my money) When she turned left out of the driveway, I turned right, and went to the bank, and cleaned out the account! Good thing, because three days later, she tried to buy herself a new car with my money!

  • S. Bird

    My CExG slept with three other guys in the week or two prior to our last time together. She got herpes, which I amazingly did not get from her. She spent a week of screaming trying to convince me that I gave it to her, even though I did not have it. Finally admitted that she knew exactly which guy gave it to her, he was just as much of a psycho as her.

    Took her to Europe once, she found a way to ‘mess around’ with the guy in the seat next to her on the plane while I was asleep. No wonder he looked at me weird when we got off the plane!

    Etc, etc, etc… It’s amazing how many shocking stories a person like that can rack up in less than 10 months!

    She now has 3 kids from (apparently) 3 different men; she is not married to or involved with any of them.

  • Honey Fyre

    My ex was a total psycho, she got my dad drunk and then gave him a bj while she filmed it on her iPhone. She sent it to my mom, thank god they were divorced, my mom called the police and said this lunatic was sending her pron.. the funny thing.. the phone she sent it to belonged to my 14 year old step sister. The pyscho was arrested and had to got to jail and register as a sex offender. KARMA!