23 Groupies Reveal Their Best Rock Star Sex Story

February 2, 2016 | 23 Comments » | Topics: Interesting

1. I’m from NY and was back in chelsea on break from college up north. I visited my favorite cupcake shop and ran into Harry Styles. (You don’t get to be a 20 year old american girl without recognizing the band members of one direction.) I tipped him off that the red velvet cupcakes were the best of the lot and made an exit. This shop is on a pretty quiet street (one of the old cobbled ones: the few the proud), so I turned around when I heard “excuse me.” There was Harry, recommended cupcake in hand. He walked to the end of the block with me and there was a car waiting for him. I thought seriously about just going home, but i was pretty sure this was the kind of adventure that doesn’t happen twice, so I got in when he offered. We drove around for awhile behind tinted windows talking casually, and eventually ended up at his hotel. He got out with a security guy that had been sitting in the front seat and told the driver to take me a couple blocks away, giving me directions to find his handler in the hotel. It was honestly surreal and I thought he was being a little bit ridiculous until I saw the literal mob of teenage girls at the front door. I worked my way through the crowd (nobody stopped me because I wasn’t with Harry.) Surprisingly, his slightly vague directions panned out and I ended up in his suite. We had great conversations, good sex, and excellent champagne, at which point he needed to leave for some facet of his job, so I headed out of the hotel outside past the mob of fans. It was a really bizarre experience, and ultimately I feel bad for him after witnessing all the smoke and mirrors that went into a casual afternoon. He seemed like a good guy, and I hope he’s doing well, but I have no desire for a repeat. I’m a really private person and am unwilling to take the risk of my name or picture leaking.

 

2. My friend’s cousin dated Derek Jeter for a while and had keys to his apartment. According to the story she entered one day to find him butt ass naked on his couch watching highlights of himself and bumping his chest with his fist saying “YEAH JEETS, YEAH JEETS”.

 

3. One of my friends claims he knew a girl that went back to Derek Jeter’s place one night and proceeded to go down on him. As she performed, Jeter put his hand on her head and said “Yeah Jeets, yeah Jeets,” as she kept going. I believe it was a soft “yeah Jeets” as opposed to a screaming bumping “YEAH JEETS.”

 

4. I was at a John Mayer concert and me and a friend were invited backstage to “hang out.” When we got back there he asked us if we were okay with him fisting either of us. When we said no, he laughed at us, called us ugly, and kicked us out.

 

5. I have a female friend who met and hooked up with a very well-known baseball player a few years ago. In the morning, he was gone when she woke up, but his assistant or someone gave her this gift bag full of expensive shit (like an iPod, designer sunglasses, etc.) and some high-end gift cards on her way out of his place, along with a note that said “thanks for a great night” or something along those lines. She said he was a perfect gentleman. Apparently, from what I’ve heard, this is a pretty regular thing. All his one-night stands get a goody bag.

 

6. So, a bit of background info, I worked as a barmaid in various pubs in Camden Town for five years when it was indie central, so I got to hang around with a lot of bands.

I got to know The Libertines fairly well just after Up the Bracket had been released and had a thing going on with Carl for a bit. He did a ton of coke and he dumped me for a fifteen year old girl.

Julian Casablancas has a huge dick but was usually too fucked to get hard.

Slept with Matt from The Artic Monkeys, pretty average in bed but a great lad.

Not me but a friend slept with Johnny Borrell, said he was shit and kicked her out at 7am because his girlfriend was coming over.

 

7. One of my ex girlfriends roommates slept with Lil Wayne back in college after a show in D.C. When he had finished, he threw a hundred dollar bill at her and kicked her off the tour bus.

 

8. A close friend had sex with David Lee Roth and Alice Cooper in the 80s. Not at the same time. Apparently Alice was a really nice guy who set her up at a hotel room afterwards. David Lee Roth, despite having just performed a large show, was very intense, energetic and ultimately exhausting.

 

9. Summer of 2013 my friends and I met Justin Bieber at Muzik Nightclub in Toronto. One of my friends ended up leaving with Justin and his boys to go back to The Hazelton (hotel). She ended up sleeping with Justin and and multiple boys from his crew. There was like 5 girls there and they made them all sign contracts and took away their cellphones. He referred to himself as JB and made everyone sit around and listen to him sing for like an hour while he continuously smoked a shit ton of weed. 

 

10. A girl in my city fucked LMFAO…yes both of them.. LMFAO are uncle and nephew. She said she wokeup with a free t-shirt and they had paid for her breakfast.

 

11. I knew a guy who was a recording engineer for R. Kelly back in the late ’90s/early ’00s. Said he would have a line of super-young girls waiting to be alone with him. My friend said the girls would be all excited while waiting, and then come out kind of shell-shocked and teary, saying it wasn’t like they thought it would be. My buddy actually quit that end of the recording biz, because it made him feel so fucking dirty.

 

12. Our friend hosted the dubstep dj Datsik’s afterparty after he played at The Beachum in Orlando, FL. He came in put 3 ounces of mushrooms on the table. Looked at us and said “start eating”. He fucked our friend and two of her friends. Then he played for 4-5 hours in the kitchen with a stupid audio set. We all passed out throughout the house. We woke up to his crew cleaning the house and him making pancakes. Cool ass dude.

 

13. My cousin slept with Lars Ulrich about ten years ago. She said he was sorta hot but had a really small dick. Also, he managed to get naked from the waist down before she even got to the bedroom. She described the sex itself as….easily forgettable.

 

14. My ex girlfriend slept with members of “Asking Alexandria” and “Pierce the Veil” She was about 16 – 17 at the time at they were in their early 20’s..
She said the dude from AA was a nice guy, decent in bed not much to tell.. But the bloke in PTV is a whole different story, she lost her Virginity to him, so she bled, so he decided to put in it her butt.. then after it was over he threw a pillow on the floor and told her that’s where she’d be sleeping.. She left in a taxi immediately after

 



 

15. A ex co-worker of mine claims to have slept with Tommy Lee from Motley Crue. She said it was in the 90s after the Pam & Tommy Lee video had come out – and she had seen it and thought he was hot and wanted to screw him, and she lived in LA at the time, so I guess she went to the Rainbow Room every night until he eventually showed up, then went up to him and said “I want to fuck the shit out of you.” and he just laughed. Then eventually I guess they all went back to some house to party, and he told her that he’d only fuck her if she blew some other guy first, she refused, and then he fucked her anyway.

She said it was a great experience and she had a ton of fun, and he offered to pay her $500 to get a Motley Crue tattoo but she told him to fuck off because she wasn’t a huge fan of the band.

 

16. I slept with Till Lindemann, frontman of Rammstein whilst he was on tour in my town. We spent the weekend together, it was amazing, he was so intelligent and fun and the sex was great, and I got to party with other band members from other acts such as Tool. He was a gentleman- until after he left town and I realised he was married with children. I don’t tell many people, only people that I feel won’t judge me! The coolest thing he did was- to clean up an ahem mess that we made, he pulled a table cloth off a table with a big flourish, leaving the vase, lamp etc on the table sitting there!

 

17. My friend almost slept with Maynard James Keenan, The lead singer of Tool. This time he was opening for NIN as Perfect Circle. I’ll try to keep it short, but after being offered back stage passes by a security guard, she was waiting around to meet Trent. That’s when Maynard approached her and invited her to hang out in the trailer to chill and “watch movies.” They were watching ‘Happy Gilmore’ and he was wearing silk pants. That’s when he whipped it out. She immediately got up and left, he ran after her and said, “Wait, please don’t go, you’re not like all the other girls.” She did give him her number but he never called.

 

18. A girl I used to have an on again, off again fling with had sex with Darius Rucker (hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish). She said he was a fantastic lay, a perfect gentleman, and even sang to her in the morning as he made her breakfast. On the way out he thanked her for being a good host and said she had a lovely house.

 

19. I managed a venue for quite a long time. In 2004 or 2005, we booked Ryan Dunn and Don Vito’s Rock Tour (for some reason). After the show it turned into a huge coke party. I was sitting on a sectional couch in the large green room while two moronic girls were giving Don Vito, skin tags and all, head for quite a while about three feet away from me. This is one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen.

 

20. “Not me, but a friend had sex with A$AP Rocky last year when he was in town for a show. Apparently it was pretty normal, except that he asked her if he could come on a bruise that was on her thigh from an unrelated accident. He did. I picture it sort of like a bullseye type deal..for a bruise. That’s all I have on that incident.” 

 

21. This is my experience with Drake.

We met through mutual friends, and we hung out a few times before he finally decided to give me the d*ck. It was at his house in California. It was really far from the club, maybe like 45 minutes, in the middle of nowhere. But every house in his neighborhood is a mansion.

Him and his boys brought me and a few girls back after a night at [LA CLUB]. As soon as we walked in the door, it was like we entered the White House. Security was tight, he made all of us give up our cellphones and sign a contract. Then a security man took a photo of our drivers licenses. MTO I ain’t never seen nothing like that.

We all were drinking and smoking, and Drake took me to his room – which was GIGANTIC. He took off all his clothes, and mine and laid me down and started eating me. His d*ck is not really big, but it’s THICK.

I must have c*me like 3 times while he was doing it. On after the other, after the other. I have had my box eaten hundreds of times, but no one has EVER done it like Drake. He has a real talent. His tongue went from p*zzy to butt, back to p*zzy. I think I c*me out of both.

He then laid on his back and was like “My Turn.” MTO I was ready to suck the OXYGEN outta him and I did. After a few minutes he started pushing my head down, towards his b*lls. I sucked on them for a while and he pushed me down FURTHER to his butt hole. I never did that before, but it was Drake do I’m not gonna lie I did it.

It was weird eating a man’s butt like that, but I’m a freak, and it was Drake LOL. He was laying there on the bed with his leg spread open and my face in his butt and his legs shaking. I wish I had a camera and could see what was happening from far back.

But MTO, my review of Drake is incomplete cause I never really got the d*ck. I’m embarrassed to say it, but Drake enjoyed getting his butt ate so much that he n*tted. All over my new weave. I can’t really complain though cause the man has a tongue of GOLD and I already got 3 nuts.

After it was over he was cool. He told me that I could take a shower in his bathroom, but that there were cameras everywhere so I shouldn’t try and steal ish.

He would text me every now and then when he came to [HER TOWN] but we never got to meet up. He always changed his mind :(. I’m getting back at him though by sending you thins. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want the world to know he likes his butt eaten.

 

22.  True story of how I met Quentin Tarantino:

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011:

Get a BBM at 8 in the morning from my friend Nicki telling me we’re going to a party in “the Hills” that night because the Yankees were in town. But this party now presents a conundrum as a) I didn’t know people partied on Wednesdays because I’m uncool and b) I had just run out of clean underwear and hadn’t shaved my legs in three days, so I wasn’t really in a “party” sort of place. (what’s that you say? You’re surprised I’m single?) However, after being told to grow a pair, I decided to join the girls after work for this fiesta.

Party time rolls around that evening and despite being a Wednesday, and based on how many trashy girls in short dresses there are, it looks like the inside of any club in Las Vegas has vomited inside this music producer’s home. Minus all the hordes of Asians you get in real Las Vegas. I spend my first hour at this party irritated at having to even be there, and then telling the Yankees picture Joba Chamberlain how he’ll never be as great as my beloved Brian Wilson. I think he may have called me a lesbian as I was walking away, but I guess you can’t blame him since I did choose to wear pants. Anyways, I digress.

Heading back inside, bored out of mind, I look over and notice Jamie Foxx and Quentin Tarantino have joined the melee. Joy. Two more people at this party who could not give a shit about who I am. I go back to texting in the corner while stuffing my face with a hot dog. About an hour later I’m making a drink and realize the pasty tall fellow pouring orange juice into my glass is the man himself, QT. Realizing I kind of have to go for at it this point, in all my nerd glory blurt out: “I’m sure everyone tells you this but I fucking loved Reservoir Dogs. I watched it when I was 11 for my school newspaper, and it’s badass.” He starts laughing, thanks me, pleasantries are exchanged about how I was clearly a fucked up 11 year old for watching Reservoir Dogs, and we start what appears it might be a delightful little chat about film. Until this happens:

Quentin: Wow so you really loved Reservoir Dogs, huh? Which of my other films do you like?
(this blatant arrogance is the type of douchebaggery that really gets my gourd about Hollywood, so now my film boner has turned to film hate fuck, and I feel the need to cheekily undermine Quentin.)
Me: Oh wow. You know, I really didn’t like Kill Bill…
Quentin: What? What do you mean? 1 or 2?
Me: Ehh, a little bit of both. I just didn’t care for them.
Quentin: Wow…I don’t think anyone has said that to my face about my seminal films.
Me: Perhaps it’s because you call them your seminal films. Shouldn’t you wait for someone else to say that?
Quentin: You know, you’ve got a mouth on you. I like that.

At this point, QT puts an arm around me and I’m acutely aware that Quentin Tarantino has an arm around me. As are my four friends, who are all looking at me as if I have grown a second head. To be fair, I am easily the most uncool out of all my friends (I go to Q’s in Brentwood four nights a week), so the fact that anyone even mildly famous wants to speak to me is pretty shocking. He’s chatting with my friends and I like it’s no big deal, I am pretending like this happens every night of my life, and out of nowhere he leans in for the makeout. Yes. True story. I am pulling a frat move and making out in a crowded kitchen with Quentin Fucking Tarantino. I cannot stop laughing AS this is happening, mainly because I see my friends Nicki and Jen literally gag behind Quentin’s head, and I really am doing this for the story at this point. We make out some more, take a walk, keep making out, get more drinks, lather, rinse, repeat. Believe me when I say I’m not bragging, because..well…have you looked at a photo of Quentin Tarantino recently? (Please refer to: http://bit.ly/jL4ORR)

At some point in our public makeout, Jamie Foxx comes over and without acknowledging me goes, “Yo QT, ready to roll?” Quentin looks at me and says “Want to come to my house?” Ummmmmm…fuck yes? We get in an SUV and off we go. As I’m in the car though, I realize two things: 1) Making out with Quentin Tarantino is a great story, but there is no way I plan on putting out, and 2) This is a director who makes up fucked up films for a living, there is a 23% chance he could Phil Spektor me, and I’m definitely not ready to die. But alas, I’m already in the car and we’re off.

We get to the house, which is gorgeous, and Jamie Foxx takes off with his lady friend (I try to say bye to him and he doesn’t even look at me. Jamie Foxx could not have given 2 shits who I was. This is probably karma because I snuck into a screening of Ray in 2004 with my black boyfriend who worked at AMC at the time, instead of buying a ticket). Which leaves me and QT alone in his bar. I spot a photo booth and immediately realize that we must take photos, if for nothing else, proof that this story even happened. (Because I know at least 7 of you right now think I’m still lying, and are pissed you had to read this much. It gets even better, I promise!!) We get a few good photo strips, which I immediately buried at the bottom of my purse lest he take them from me, and go on talking about film. (For you film geeks, this was a great conversation that led to QT cutting me a trailer of my five favorite bad movies, but for sake of some semblance of brevity, I will leave that aside for another day)

After a lengthy film discussion, Quentin suggests we head to bed, which is the point where I really start panicking. I have stalled for a good long time but the makeouts were really losing their appeal because you can only be sweated on so much, and we were getting closer to the moment of truth on whether I’d have to put out or not. The makeout continues for a while longer, and I’m really getting nervous about where the night may lead, kicking myself over not pretending to be more drunk and “passing out”, and wishing he’d turn the damn lights off so that he won’t notice that I’m wearing Hanes Her Way underwear the size of Canada that I bought at CVS that morning because my life is really just that sad and pathetic. We make out some more, there’s a little below the belt action that I try to avoid, as QT has the most unattractive penis I have ever seen (short. fat. nub-like. The chode of all chodes. Boys, those junior high pamphlets are lying when they say that all shapes and sizes are normal. Lying.) Just as I’m about to hyperventilate over the fact that he may try to put that horrific bodily implement anywhere near my Britney, he leans over and goes “Hey…”

I know this “Hey.” This is the “Hey, should I get a condom?” hey that accompanies 20 minutes of ungratifying sex. As I’m trying to rapidly think of ways I can agent myself out of this deal, I hear what is without a doubt, the strangest question in the history of my life. Quentin Tarantino asks, “Can I suck on your toes while I jerk off?” What. The. Fuck.

Many of you may have seen this coming, as his foot fetish is WELL documented, but for some of us who spend more time watching Kate Hudson than we do Quentin Tarantino, this was a huge shock. On top of that, I don’t even like weird sex habits! A saucy hookup for me is on the foot of the bed, instead of on a pillow. Someone tried to talk me into a threesome once and I cried for an hour. Having someone ask to fellate my feet while rubbing one out was a world I was not prepared for.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I realized this just might be my get out of jail free card on the whole chode in vag issue. After some negotiations about how I would not partake in any of the hand job action were nailed down, I begrudgingly acquiesced. (And by begrudgingly, I realized I didn’t have to shtup the dude and said sure why not in about 0.03 seconds) And thus began the weirdest ten minutes of my life – having my feet made out with by an Oscar winning filmmaker while he pleasured himself. Truth be told, it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t have to do anything (a nice bonus, since I am undoubtedly the laziest person in bed, which some of you can attest to), no bodily secretions were ejected anywhere near me or my feet (thank god, because I imagine it would feel like walking in sand with wet I fucking hate that), and just as I hoped, we went to bed right after.

In the morning, I snooped through Quentin’s belongings while he was in the bathroom and now know his e-mail address. He fooled around with my feet one more time (this time without asking, which I found rude), and then drove me back to Nicki’s apartment in Weho and that was that.

Most insane experience of my life, and without a doubt, probably the best story I will ever get to tell. Those of you who know me well know of my love of hyperbole, so I’m actually rather sad that I won’t get to use “best story ever!!!” when talking about how I scored a free topping at Yogurtland anymore, but I suppose for Quentin I can make an exception. I’ll try not to forget all of you little people when my feet and I make our meteoric race (foot pun intended) to the top of the A-List soon.

Till then, I’ve attached our photo booth photos for those of you who think I still just have a vivid imagination…and yes, he does look like Frankenstein.

Love,
Beejoli

 

(via AskReddit, MediaTakeout, Gawker)

 

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  • Inigo

    Girls are so disgustenly slutty now

    • Lady Cyn Aptic

      And men are disgustingly rude.

      • Dante

        And most women (not all of them) are disgustingly rude, slutty hypocrites these days. These kind of ladies throw themselves at famous guys in the most distasteful, unclassy way possible throwing away what little dignity they may have had at the drop of a dime. And on top of that these women have the nerve to try to ridicule or complain about the the guy they just slept with within hours of meeting like he is somehow the problem. What a joke….

        • LiberalVeteran

          Welcome to being part of the problem asshole.

    • Scarlet

      I would be more impressed by your misogyny if you’d have spelled *disgustingly* properly.
      What people do with their own bodies is their business. And what is the difference between a slut and stud? You work it out for yourself.

      • Charles Martel

        Very easy, it’s called BIOLOGY. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships, women are for sex.

        Ever hear about all those women who had harems and concubines full of men? No? Right. “Studs” have power and women will gladly mate with one. Sluts have reduced themselves to a sexual commodity that no man would partner with long term.

        • Ben Drake

          I knew a woman once that wasn’t for sex. Her name is jane fonda and I couldn’t get an erection when she offered me a BJ. (Well, in my mind anyway). VN vet.

        • LiberalVeteran

          Go fuck yourself you fucking piece of shit.

          • Charles Martel

            Lol don’t get mad at me, take it up with nature.

            • LiberalVeteran

              You don’t know shit about nature you stupid cunt. There are many species with a matriarchal hierarchy. But I don’t expect a dumbass fucking Neanderthal to comprehend that.

              • Charles Martel

                And that applies to humans how exactly?

                A female black widow spider kills its spouse after mating, you’re saying we should do that too?

                • LiberalVeteran

                  You’re the one who brought up nature you fucking moron. I was just showing you how wrong you are. Not that that’s a hard thing to do. Every time you open your mouth you’re wrong.

                  • Charles Martel

                    No…no you didn’t.

                    All you proved is that there are different female/male relationships in different species.

                    In ours it’s the way I described.

                    Sorry you’re alone.

                    • LiberalVeteran

                      There you go. You’re wrong again. Human beings have both patriarchal and matriarchal societies dumb ass. If all we had were patriarchies then there would be no females in positions of power. Guess what stupid. There are women in power all over the fucking globe.

                    • Charles Martel

                      Really, how successful are those societies?

                    • LiberalVeteran

                      Biology doesn’t factor in asshole. Biology has nothing to do with it. They’re no more successful or unsuccessful than any male leader. The fact that you think men are inherently better than women only proves what a dumb ass you are.

                    • Charles Martel

                      Biology has everything to do with how the genders interact.

                      I never said males were better.

                      They are different beings, with different needs, strengths and behaviors.

                      We are built to perform different tasks. If you can’t handle that then good luck with your delusions.

                    • LiberalVeteran

                      You lying sack of shit. You call women sluts, you insinuate how much better you are than women, you say women are only for sex. When it comes to leadership qualities sex and biology don’t fucking matter you dumb fuck.

    • LiberalVeteran

      Yeah cause it’s always on the girls huh fucker.

      • Charles Martel

        Yeah…they are choosing to be slutty.

        • LiberalVeteran

          They aren’t slutty they’re human. Human beings are allowed to enjoy sex. We’re not all a bunch of repressed fucking cunts like you.

          • Charles Martel

            Sound’s like you’re a slut who I’m making you remember past regrets. I’m sure you will find someone will low enough standards to still date you.

            • LiberalVeteran

              Sorry bitch boy but I don’t have nearly enough sex to be considered a slut. I wish it weren’t the case. I wonder what kind of woman lower herself so far into the gutter she would fuck a sexist misogynist pig like you. You probably have to rape your mother to get laid.