What Is It Like to Date Model?
I dated a model during what you might call her “declining” years. I put that in quotes because to a normal person the idea is absurd. Models have a shelf-life of maybe 10 years, 15 if they are lucky. Once a model hits 30, the modeling industry considers her old and used up, and there is no shortage of eager 15- and 26-yearolds from Eastern Europe who are willing to work longer hours, fly more places, and get paid far less. Almost every model in her late 20s (including the woman I dated) begins to worry incessantly (when she isn’t worrying about nonexistent eye wrinkles) about how to make herself into a “brand” and transition into being a supermodel, which is pretty much the only postmodeling career available to you in this line of work.
Dating a model is pretty interesting. As a couple and as a man, you are immediately accorded utterly absurd amounts of social consideration. Any time we were out, we’d get special treatment. Not just from service people but just regular people. People would regularly offer to let us cut in front of them in lines at restaurants, grocery stores, even once at the DMV(!) when we happened to go together. Of course we could get into clubs, although this is not as great as it seems because every two-bit wannabe pickup artist would try to chat “us” (really just her) up when we were just there to dance and have a good time with friends. Probably the biggest benefit is that we always stood an extremely good chance of being offered upgrades to first class when flying. Airlines look for well-dressed people to offer first-class upgrades to when seats are open, and dating my girlfriend had led me to up my game in terms of dress so I always wore a jacket and tie when flying, so we were a pretty good-looking couple (well, she was—I was a chump in a nice suit), and we would always get offered the first-class upgrades. And we flew a lot, because my job is pretty portable and she would have shoots all over the world. I eventually decided that dating a model was potentially a cash-flow-positive arrangement in that during the seasons where we traveled frequently enough, the value of the first-class upgrades we would receive (sometimes thousands of dollars) actually exceeded the amount of money I spent taking her out on dates or covering for her fraction of the rent (more on this below).
Speaking of money, her finances were always a mess. I’ve heard this is often an issue with people who work in industries where you get irregular lump-sum payments for your work. She would get huge checks every few months, but on a highly irregular and totally unpredictable basis. And as a contractor, she would be responsible for handling her own tax withholdings (which she would never do), so she would always have a huge unexpected tax bill in the spring that she would freak out about, and each time she was only saved in the nick of time by the next check that (luckily) came in the mail. I was brought up to be pretty good with money, so I tried to help her keep her finances in order, but she never understood why she should put away about 45 percent (“That’s like half my earnings!”) from every check to account for the self-employment taxes that would be due at the end of the year. After being together for a couple years, I got a good sense of how much she earned over time, and I tried to explain to her what she should try to think of as her average income stream over time and to keep weekly expenses in line, but it was something she just wasn’t very interested in. Instead she would go on partying and shopping binges in the weeks following getting paid and the rest of the time scraping by when she wasn’t. Luckily, I made the wise decision to keep our finances completely separate even when we started living together and “splitting” the rent, which more often than not turned out to be me footing all of the rent for that month and her paying me back months later when she got paid. But like I said, sometimes this was offset by the tremendous material consideration in the form of airline upgrades or hotel room upgrades when we would go on vacation.
Ultimately though, the most frustrating thing about the whole experience is that despite being absolutely drop-dead gorgeous (some models look “strange,” while others are more conventionally beautiful, and she was one of the conventionally beautiful ones), she became increasingly insecure and worried about her “declining” looks. To give you an idea of what this is like, imagine someone who is literally better looking than anyone else you know or ever meet on the street. Not only this but they are, by dint of their profession, an expert in terms of how to dress and apply makeup, so you are basically dating a walking Photoshop commercial. Despite this, she would obsess about what I could only perceive to be completely invisible fat on her thighs and just-as-invisible wrinkles around her eyes. She would literally ask me, “Do I look fat?” or “Don’t you think I look old?” and of course as a man with a good sense of perspective about what I’d managed to snag, at first I would enthusiastically answer, “Of course not! You’re the most beautiful woman on the planet!” which as far as I could tell was 100 percent the truth. The problem was, none of these really assuaged her insecurities (of course) so she would keep asking over and over, and there is a limit to how many times you can enthusiastically exclaim about how beautiful your girlfriend is, even if you do believe it to be the truth. Obviously, she noticed this difference in the enthusiasm of my answers, and it didn’t help her insecurity about her supposed fading looks. Remember, again, during all this time she is still better looking than 99.99 percent of all human beings, so you get a sense of the utter absurdity of the situation.
She was also spending all of her spare time trying to “make it” as a supermodel, which for those who aren’t familiar with the industry, doesn’t mean “extra-good-looking model,” it means models who have the brains to figure out that they have to leverage their looks into building themselves into a brand and business before their shelf-life runs out. She had several friends who were doing the same thing (models have wised up to the game, with the success of supermodels like Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum who have parlayed their careers into television shows and such), one of them is having some measure of success at it—you would probably recognize her name since she hosts a minor show on cable. But of course to build a business, you need to, at a minimum, be pretty good with finances, and she had no interest in it, despite my continuing attempts to try and get her to pay attention to the basics. It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart—she just hated finance. As a result of this, she became gradually more demotivated, insecure, and would complain often that she was “over the hill,” which is pretty absurd at 28 or 29 (although I hear it sometimes from Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, which I consider equally absurd) and it became a continual source of negativity in our day-to-day interactions.
I met her when she was 25, and we dated nearly four years until finally breaking up just a couple months before she turned 30. I know I’ve sounded pretty negative in this answer, but in the first couple years the relationship was so good that I thought she was marriage material, but her insecurity and negativity became such a problem later on that despite my attempts to be supportive and make it work, we eventually had to part ways. I really thought we were meant to be together so I probably let things go on for much longer than was wise, in retrospect. At one point, I thought maybe we could make it work as a joint venture, with her doing the modeling and speaking and industry relationships, and I would handle the finance and “business” pieces, but her negativity and insecurity about everything had totally poisoned things between us so much by then that I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
One funny postscript is that my mom perhaps recognized this before I did, and (to my chagrin at the time) tried to set me up with various hometown girls when I would visit for holidays. Finally, I met someone when I was home for Christmas when my mom, before I could stop her, introduced me as “my son, who is dating the supermodel” to a girl I’d been friends with in high school, which of course got her to talk to me. She now says she was impressed not because I was dating a supermodel, but because I was helping her with her finances and “good with business,” and now she is my fiancee.
Why are we trying to colonize Mars?
Some facts about Mars: It has 24.5 hour days, 144 trillion square meters of land area (roughly equivalent to the land area of Earth), and an average temperature of -85F. That’s cold, but better than any of our other options.
First, a self sustaining martian colony is a Plan B for Earth, should a catastrophe occur that wipes out humanity.
Second, rare and valuable metals are abundant on Mars, and Deuterium is 5x more abundant, the fuel of choice should we ever achieve nuclear fusion as a power source. There is commercial and economic motivations to mine and manufacture on Mars. Because gravity is 2.4x less than on Earth, escape velocity is thusly lower and exporting of world to Earth is cheaper than going from Earth to Mars.
Third, there is substantial opportunity for scientific research on Mars, looking for martian life and furthering our understanding of the creation of our solar system. There is also materials science and pharmaceutical chemistry that is achievable on Mars due to the lower gravity than here on Earth. For example, did you know you can make aluminum more transparent than your typical silicon glass? The problem is gravitational shear as the metal cools. There are methods to get around this but it’s extremely expensive, reserved for high end optics and bulletproof US fighter jet cockpit domes because it’s a government contract so fuck it. But in space or on Mars, if the gravity is low enough, they can mass produce aluminum glass; never again will you shatter your phone screen by dropping it. Or shooting it, apparently.
And one that ties economics and science together is the amount of innovation that has to go into successfully establishing such a colony. As Neal deGrasse Tyson said, for every dollar invested in NASA, there is a $14 economic return just from the innovation that comes out of solving problems. Pyrex bakeware came out of trying to develop rocket noses, WD-40 was the 40th attempt at making a compound that would Displace Water, that’s Water Displacement attempt #40, the internet as a whole came out of a scientists who wanted a better way of linking scientific papers to the documents they cite in their bibliographies. Just attempting to get to Mars would be a huge economic boom, and we’re seeing this already, with the birth of the commercial space flight industry, with Virgin Galactic, SpaceX, and Boeing – specifically Boeing working beyond NASA and military contracts.
Finally, there are political motivations. Just look how the US rallied behind the space race of the 50s. Imagine if you can motivate whole nations or an entire planet behind a similar cause.
Edit: To quote Tyson again, who wants to build a jet engine that is 20% more fuel efficient? No one that isn’t an aviation executive. Who wants to go to Mars? He had more to say in this thread I’m paraphrasing, but basically he was saying frontier science and engineering inspires the next generation, and they get involved and end up solving other problems while trying to achieve the goal in front of them.
How does day trading on the floor of the NYSE work?
It’s largely defunct, but this is how it used to work before the internet.
The whole system is called the open outcry.
Pit traders and brokers are all in there. when someone wants to buy they will start looking for quotes. the hand signals indicate direction and size. palms in mean “I BUY”, palms out “I SELL”.
When a trader finds a price and size he agrees with he says “MINE” or “YOURS” to confirm the trade.
So like the example earlier a guy is looking for FORD he goes around asking “WHERE IS FORD?”.
He may get quotes “14.90 offered at 15.10”, which means the bid is 14.90, the offer is 15.10. or something shorter like “14.88 at 15.03”, “14.88 at 03”.
Then the broker might say something like “15.03 I BUY 100” or “I PAY 15.03 FOR 100” with eyes firmly locked with the 15.03 seller, palms in or a palms pulling in gesture, index finger pointing out to signify 100.
The 15.03 seller will then confirm the trade staring back into the broker’s eyes and saying “YOURS”. he may affirm the direction by making a pushing out gesture with his palms.
Then they meet up and write up two tickets to confirm the trade. if they have the black device i guess that’s where they key the trade details into. it goes to the middle and back offices who then matches the trade details and settle the trades.
If the broker wants to sell he may say something like “I SELL 100 AT 14.90”. and if the pit trader agrees he will say “MINE”.
There are patterns in the way the orders are given, the way the sentences are structured. the words used are also quite specific. this is to minimize miscommunication. saying something slightly jumbled, like “I BUY 100 AT 15.03” is one way to get beat up.
Why does the Russian government want Donald Trump to win?
Putin has rational motives for wanting Trump to win: Trump champions many foreign policies that Putin supports. Trump’s most shocking, pro-Kremlin proposal is to “look into” recognition of Crimea as a part of Russia. President Obama and nearly every member of Congress — Republican and Democrat — have rejected that idea vigorously. Only Afghanistan, Cuba, Nicaragua, North Korea, Syria and Venezuela have recognized Russia’s annexation of Crimea. Naturally, Putin would love to see the United States join that list.
Trump also has made clear his disdain for the United States’ alliances around the world. Demonstrating his misunderstanding of how NATO works, Trump has demanded that other NATO members essentially pay us for protection, making many of our allies, especially in the eastern part of Europe, nervous about his commitment to defend them. Trump has also disparaged our allies in Asia, creating new opportunities for Russian influence. On trade, Trump’s promises to disrupt our agreements also play right into Putin’s agenda. From Putin’s perspective, what could be a better way to start the New Year than a trade war between the United States and China or Mexico? Trump’s threats to stop paying our debts also would radically undermine our credibility as a lender, another desirable outcome for Putin.
On the whole, Trump advocates isolationist policies and an abdication of U.S. leadership in the world. He cares little about promoting democracy and human rights. A U.S. retreat from global affairs fits precisely with Putin’s international interests. And if Mr. Trump becomes president, experts on U.S. politics predict a tumultuous period domestically. If a President Trump tried to implement his radical ideas regarding immigration or walling off our southern border, a serious push-back effort would ensue, both in Congress and in the country as a whole. A United States convulsed by infighting over Trump’s deeply divisive policy proposals gives Putin more freedom to act around the world.
– Michael McFaul
What is it like to be a trophy wife?
I spend a lot of time complaining to myself and my friends (girlfriends and guy friends) about my life but overall it is good. I would not trade it for the alternative if that’s what you mean.
The good parts:
- I love him, for real. Sure, I won’t lie that him being successful didn’t influence my decision to date him and later when he proposed it was a no-brainer, but there isn’t a single girlfriend of mine or woman I ever talked to honestly who didn’t want an older man with a good job and money. So it’s not a loveless marriage or a marriage of convenience, I fell in love with a man who happens to have a lot of money, and that’s still one of the things that makes me happiest about my life, having met someone who I love so much and who loves me, despite our age differences and whatever else.
- Never having to worry about paying for things. I had a $27,000/year job trying to do writing for small (often failing) newspapers in a big city before I met him, sharing an apartment with a friend. I spent the money I made on my wardrobe and shoes and hair (and I guess I’m glad I did) but a couple months choosing between rent and utilities like phone or heat was a real issue. I know a lot of people think self-respect and making your own way is a big thing (including me) but I do not want to go back to that life.
- He makes a lot of money. I mean a lot. I literally could not believe it when I first began to understand, but pretty much unless I want to buy a house or a very expensive car (like a Ferrari, not a Lexus) I don’t have to worry about the price ever. It’s nice being able to shop all you want and he is more than happy to provide so that I look my best. And what girl doesn’t want to look good? Especially since her man is the one who appreciates her more than anyone?
- I get to associate with a lot of interesting people. I was raised with good middle-class manners, so I can get along passably with “high society” especially since many of the people he socializes with at work-related events are self-made and not “blue-blood European old money” types, so I get to meet lots of interesting and accomplished people and their spouses. Much more interesting than my slacker friends who I feel a bit bad not talking to as often but the truth is that a lot of my friends from high school are still doing nothing with their lives and smoking pot and these people aren’t (as much, or as openly).
Now the bad parts:
- People (including yourself) judging me. There is always an unspoken feeling of disapproval about what I’ve done or the arrangement we have, even if both of us are happy. It’s obvious that society frowns on this sort of thing and feels like a talented young woman with a college degree should be making her own way instead of stopping out and becoming a kept woman. Probably my own worst critic is myself to be honest.
- Not really feeling like I truly own anything. The most expensive thing I’ve ever owned myself was a used car I bought for $2400 with money I earned at my first job out of school. I loved that car, but it made too much sense to trade it in when he bought me a much, much nicer new car many years later as a birthday present. Everything else, even if it’s something I’ve picked out myself that he could never have any use for (like shoes, jewelry, makeup, accessories) still feels like it doesn’t belong to me because it’s really his money. Most days I try not to think about this and it’s all right but occasionally it comes to mind.
- I feel like I have to keep the marriage together. It does feel a bit like a hostage situation, because I know if things were to break up, I would lose a lot of this. Yes I would be entitled to some of his stuff, but he is the one who has powerful lawyer friends so it probably wouldn’t turn out well for me. We don’t have children yet (but we are talking about it) so there wouldn’t be any child support. I’ve met some wives and ex-wives of his friends and the ex-wives say that in a divorce situation I will do okay but not great, and if I love him I should do my best for the marriage especially if we have kids (obviously).
All in all I can say that obviously we would like to be completely independent and financially-secure women but if life finds us in a situation where we are a trophy wife there are worse things that can happen to us.
What’s it like to be a Sugar-Daddy?
Most people who hear about older men paying for the loving of a younger woman assume it’s prostitution, or at least prostitution lite. Because you’re essentially paying for sex. What’s the difference?
Well, I’m not picking a girl up off the street. It’s not like I’m getting a street hooker. I suppose there could be a fine line. But I see these girls, I get to know them, and I do things financially for them. If I was married, I would probably do the same. I’m seeing a girl who needs stability, and I’m helping her out. Although if there wasn’t sex involved, would I do it? Probably not.
When did you become a sugar daddy? Was there a certain point in your life when you decided that relationships were getting too complicated?
Probably three years ago. Maybe longer. And it really does simplify things, and it takes the stresses and strains out of it. Because if I was in a normal relationship, there are more things to think about. With this, I know what the deal is. The girls know why I’m with them.
Who initiates that relationship? Does she come to you, or do you approach her?
Since I’ve been going about it online, I’ve gone into complete Internet mode. Women do expect the guy to make the move—just like in a bar, the girls rarely come up to the guy—so I have my own method of how I use the site. (He uses sugardaddie.com.) I make the initial move.
And then on that first date, is there haggling about price? Or are you just like, “This is the salary. Take it or leave it?”
There are a couple of girls I’m seeing at the moment, and what it boils down to is that obviously we both know why we’re on the site. But it varies. Some girls are really comfortable with asking for certain things.
In fact, you always know when you meet a seasoned veteran, because I’ve met girls who have mentioned nothing about an allowance, and others do so immediately. One particular girl I am seeing, I give her $1,000 every time I see her. Sometimes I walk away thinking, “What the hell am I doing? Why did I just do that?”
But something about these younger women makes you feel like they’re worth that kind of cash. What is it? What qualities are attractive to you?
I’m looking for younger women. I tend to like girls in their mid 20s. Maybe it does do something for my psyche when I’ve got a young hot girl on my arm.
Once I meet a girl for the first time, I immediately know if I want to pursue it or not. Because of my intuition. You’ve been on dates, I’m sure, where you’ve thought, “Oh God. I want to get out of here.” We all have. I’m no exception. I have met some really beautiful women, but there just wasn’t anything there.
Would you ever fire a girl?
If she came to me saying she wanted more, I’d have to let her go. With one girl recently, I felt like she was trying to take advantage of me, and she pushed, pushed, pushed for more, more, more. And I was tired of her. Not the sex, I was just tired with the set up. So I didn’t fire her, but I just stopped contacting her, and I blocked her number.
Do you go on dates, or is it all about the end game?
It varies, but usually, really, it is not a social thing. We don’t go out. I found that strange in the beginning, but I’ve become accustomed to that now. It is what it is, we are not going to bother going out.
Have you ever found yourself falling in love with one of the sugar babies?
I’ve thought I was in love, but then I came to my senses and I realized it was just lust. I’m not some kind of sex machine where I have to have sex all the time. It’s just that once it was over, I realized it was the lust side that was keeping me in the relationship.
What are the ground rules? If you’re providing a generous amount of money to a girl, does that mean she’s at your beck and call?
No, unfortunately. Everything is pre-planned. There is no spontaneity at all.
So how often do you see her, then? And do you text or talk between dates?
I see each girl about two or three times a month. But there isn’t a lot of communication when we are not together. I found that very awkward at the beginning. When I do see a girl, I connect with her. But I’ve been in normal relationships where you wonder what she’s thinking, you wonder if she got that text message. These girls eliminate all that because the only text I get is, “Do you want to come over?”
Let’s do some math. If you pay each girl $1000 for visit, and you’re seeing them on average three times a month, that comes to $36,000 a year. And you’re seeing a few girls at once, so it’s costing you around $70,000 a year.
God. Wow. It really adds up, right? I don’t tell my accountant that. And that would just be the minimal side of it, without taking them out and flying them in and all the other expenses. It could really rack up. I hate to think this, but it’s probably about $100,000.
But I don’t see this as a vice or addiction. It’s just a way of socializing. I haven’t got a chart up on the wall of all the girls I’ve met, I just sort of pursue what I can and then move on.
If it wasn’t for the sugar daddy websites, would you be stuck dating women your own age?
Possibly. But hopefully not. Put it this way, when I’m out with these girls, it wouldn’t be that scenario of someone looking at me and thinking, “She’s only with him for the money.” You know those situations, where you think, “That guy’s either got a ton of money or a ton of something else.” I hope nobody looks at me and thinks that.