The Daily Man-Up

June 13, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up

How attractive a man is, is proportional to his True Confidence. The more True Confidence he has, the more attractive he will appear to women, on average. The less True Confidence he has, the less attractive he will appear to women, on average.

Women don’t judge a man’s status by the car he drives or how many VIP tables he pays for. They judge his status by his behavior, and the behavioral trait they pick up on is what I refer to as True Confidence.

True Confidence infiltrates all behaviors. The lack of True Confidence also infiltrates all behaviors. It defines and resonates in everything you say and do, the way you stand, the way you smile, the people you associate with, the car you drive, the wine you drink, the jacket you wear.

Confidence itself isn’t new in relationship advice or social dynamics. It’s kind of a catch-all term to signify everything that makes someone sure of themselves. Its meaning is murky and most people don’t really know how to describe it unless they see it.

Women, in particular, are notorious for doling out the banal advice, “Just be confident,” as if that actually meant something.

But here I will be clear in my definition of True Confidence: being less invested in other people’s perceptions of you than your perception of yourself. Let me say that again:

True Confidence is being less invested in other people’s perceptions of you than in your perception of yourself.

A lack of True Confidence causes people to chronically seek validation and approval from others since they don’t give it to themselves. The way to build True Confidence and to therefore become more attractive to women is to invest more in oneself.

Women are generally only attracted to men who are less invested in them than they are in themselves.

By investment I mean the degree to which you sacrifice/alter your own thoughts/feelings/motivations for someone else. By less I mean that as a man, you should not be willing to sacrifice your thoughts/feelings/motivations for someone else more than they sacrifice theirs for you.

That may sound cold, un-PC, and yes, it made me squirm a little bit when I first realized it. But it’s true.

Think about it, for the majority of human history, men had few material possessions for women to judge their status by. Therefore women watched men’s behavior. Ask yourself what kind of behavior would indicate to a woman that a man is high status and fit to raise her children? These are the men who would be sexually selected over the course of hundreds of thousands of years.

Would it be a man who defers to all of the other men around him, who begs the women to be with him, who can’t stand up for himself and whose emotions are dictated by those around him? Or would it be the man who controls his own destiny, is unfazed by the threats others may pose to him and who shrugs if he pursues a woman and she has no interest in him.

The second man indicates a man of status. If you’re at the top of the food chain, you have no reason to be inhibited or to defer to others (unless you want to). If you’re at the bottom of the food chain, your entire life will revolve around the deferring to others.

The high status man displays True Confidence. The low status man displays little of it.

Mark Manson – Models