The Daily Man-Up

June 16, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up

Every man seeks the answer to the eternal question:

“How do I become confident?”

And for most, they’re asking the wrong question. They should be saying:

“How do I love myself more?”

Before you think I’m spouting some new age fluff, hear me out.

Confidence is not something you instantly acquire. It’s not a simple on and off switch or a few lines you can memorize. It’s not about getting laid, acting “alpha”, or anything external. It is an internal belief about yourself that must be cultivated over time. That begins with your self-esteem.

Do you love who you are? Do you trust in yourself? Do you prioritize your needs? Do you invest in yourself regularly? Do you respect your opinions? Are you congruent with your values and principles?

When faced with various situations in life that challenge the above, there are two paths you can take. One leads you to a life of fulfillment, the other leads to endless suffering. 

Fear and avoidance: the path to misery

Men with low self-esteem often choose the wrong path. They don’t realize how much damage they’re doing by perpetuating a cycle of frustration and unhappiness.

  1. You choose not to love yourself. You subdue your needs, wants, and desires. You hide or lie about your opinions. You avoid pushing your comfort zone out of fear. You always act how you think other people will want rather than what you want.
  2. You receive internal destructive feedback. You feel like a failure for not trying and beat yourself up about it. You’re ashamed of yourself. You feel weak and powerless. You make excuses. You’re always left wondering what could have happened and over-analyzing.
  3. You subconsciously reinforce that you aren’t worthy and lower your self-esteem. You build beliefs that no one will like the real you. You think you are not worthy of being loved. You keep burying your core and lose the sense of who you are. You fail to trust in your abilities. You’re convinced that you will never get what you want. You re-affirm that you’re a failure who can never change.

The cycle keeps repeating and gaining power over you. You are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Check out the rest of the article at Nick Notas

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