The Daily Man-Up

December 6, 2017 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Man-Up

Nothing is “hard,” — only your resistance to it.

Nothing is “hard,” — only your resistance to it.

Last week, I gave myself hell anticipating a social event I didn’t want to go to.

In the days leading up to it, I worried, I complained, and I agonised. I ran films in my mind of the anxiety and discomfort I’d feel around new people.

I considered canceling. But that too worried me because I didn’t want to offend the host. I didn’t want to do the ‘weak’ thing. I didn’t want to be lame.

At the last minute, I succumbed. I decided to do it and get the anguish over with.

The event turned out to be a lot of fun. Not the huge deal I had created in my mind.

I met some fascinating people. I came home tired but lifted by the warm buzz of accomplishment.

As I muse about the comparatively large amount of strife a couple of hours of my life caused me, I saw that it wasn’t the event itself that was hard work.

Rather, my resistance to it made the experience feel like a serious challenge.

Resistance was envisioning the worst scenarios.

Resistance was taking it all so seriously.

Resistance was reacting emotionally to the mere thought of the event.

Resistance was tightening up and getting anxious before going.

And it was all completely unnecessary.

It’s not the event that was hard, but my resistance to it.

Fighting myself took a lot of wasted energy.

And this applies to most other things in life.

Your next essay.

A visit to meet your mother-in-law.

The painting you need to finish.

Your next trip to the post office.

The marketing work you need to do for your new product.

The breakup you just suffered.

None of it is hard. It is only your resistance to it that is — and feels — hard.

Some things in life are genuinely hard, yes, like being eaten by a bear. But most things are much less tough than we make them out to be.

When we can truly grasp this, we are a leap closer to freedom.

How do we stop resisting, and start living again?

Check out the rest of the article here

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  • the man from amsterdam

    nothing is hard ?

    i had two dogs who i loved very much (pet owners will understand). they both died within two weeks of eachother of unrelated causes. that was hard.

    when i have a friend who rarely visits anymore, that is hard.

    when my fathers buiseness went bankrupt because the original company we were renting the property from sold it to another company and the new company simply said “we dont have to honor the deal the other company made with you” at which point our buiseness failed. and obviously the judge sided with the big company because FUCK justice. that was hard.

    i had a friend who lived with his grandma. first his grandpa died of cancer, who was a man he loved very much. and then his grandma (he loved her very much too) died of cancer. who i personally saw waste away and go bald on their couch. that IS hard.

    and living with social anxiety bad enough that prevents you from going out, connecting with people, getting new friends and possibly a girlfriend, that is hard.

    the shit this girl went through that is hard.

    dont tell me that nothing is hard. a lot of shit is hard. plenty of shit is hard.