Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last

April 18, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating, TRUTH

nice guy syndrome

By Jodan Gray

Let’s end this whole “nice guys” myth once and for all…

The term “nice guy” has been thrown around in popular culture a lot lately.  A quote unquote “nice guy” is actually a first class manipulator.

Women don’t have an aversion to truly nice guys… they have an aversion to passive, manipulative liars (just like – surprise, surprise – all humans do!).

People respond positively to others that have a strong sense of identity, solid morals, and strong personal boundaries (all things in which “nice guys” are lacking).

Nice Guys, Jerks, And Strong-Minded Men

One of the nice guys’ favourite fall back arguments is that “Women say that they want a nice guy, but what they actually want is a jerk.”

Oh, my friend, if only it were that simple. Kidding! It’s even simpler than that.

Women don’t like being lied to. They’re also generally a lot more socially intelligent than men. Even if you think you’re being extra sneaky, your intentions have been noted by females before you’ve even fully formed your first thought.

Nice guys = passive, manipulative liars who attempt to trade niceness for intimate relationships/sex. Most men are hopelessly transparent with their intentions with women, but nice guys really take it to the next level.

Jerks = assertive/aggressive suitors that share more character traits with a strong-minded option than nice guys.

Strong-Minded Man = an assertive, strong-willed person who is unapologetically forthcoming with his desire. He is ready and willing to take no for an answer without resorting to manipulation or douche-baggery.

So reading through the three descriptions, doesn’t it become clear that the nice guy option is a dead last?

If you are a man reading this article, imagine all of those descriptions again but instead describing women. #1, a girl that you are not attracted to in the slightest who keeps trying to convince you to like her by being extra-super-duper nice. #2, a girl that isn’t necessarily your ideal woman, and is a little rough around the edges, but you feel magnetically sexually attracted to her for some reason (though you probably wouldn’t bring her home to meet your parents). #3, a woman with clear morals and boundaries, a voracious sexual appetite and has no problem initiating sex with you but will turn it down when she isn’t feeling it, and doesn’t push you to do things that you’re not comfortable with.

Unless you’ve got some intimacy issues, narcissism, or low self-esteem a-brewin’ within the chaos of your mind, you would most likely be attracted to #3, followed by #2, and then by #1 in a distant last place. And guess what? That’s what women respond to too. Hooray, we’re all humans and there’s no distinguishable differences in our attraction process when it comes to not enjoying being lied to!

Bottom line, you are either attractive to someone or you are not. If you find yourself having a really tough time getting into a relationship, then it’s probably something you should get looked at. Whether it’s an unconscious pattern of driving people away, fearing vulnerability, or just not having your life sorted out, there are many steps you can take to become more attractive as a partner to your gender of choice.

Onto the good stuff…

If your inner child (nice guy) still rears its ugly head on occasion (everyone’s does in certain situations), here are five things you can do to make sure that you’re not being a manipulator in your intimate relationships.

Check out the rest of the article here