What Does It Feel Like To Change Your Sex

June 7, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences

It was my tenth year of marriage when my wife caught me in the middle of the night, cross-dressing in another room. I was forty-two years old. We’d just had our first child. She was devastated.

Eventually my wife and I divorced, and I began to plan my transition, the first step prior to surgery. I wrote a letter and sent it to everyone at work. It was kind of confusing for them because they didn’t know how to address me anymore.

I lived almost a year as a woman before having the surgery. I’d had plenty of practice by that point, so I was probably better off than most transsexuals. It’s not like I looked like a man in a dress.

During transition, I started dating the man who’s now my husband. He actually came with me to the surgery, which I had in Thailand. The technical term is “penile inversion.” After waking up from surgery, you feel a good amount of pain, but not a horrific amount. You wake up and you have this big cast made of bandages. The cast is packed in, and when they start pulling it out, it’s not the most pleasant feeling in the world.

They use the existing tissue. Your nerve endings are actually preserved. That’s what’s used to give you sensation in the clitoris area. I have a clitoris. A gynecologist wouldn’t even know unless he really started looking inside.

At first, the area was really tender. It took me about three months till I was fully healed, to where I could sit on a bicycle. Until then, I had to get a little inflatable rubber doughnut to sit on. I had to use that for about six weeks.

I can have sex and orgasm. It’s functional in that way. The orgasms are different, though. The male has this orgasm and that’s basically it. For a female, it’s more of an ongoing thing during the course of intercourse, more of a whole-body experience. As opposed to men — men have sex like dogs.

As far as growing breasts, I took hormones. It’s really not much different from what any teenage girl goes through. I noticed an overall smoothness to my skin first, then sensitivity to the breasts as development started. After about four years of gradual growth, my development seemed to be mostly over. Emotionally, you get a dose of mood swings mixed with insecurity. It’s like going through puberty all over again.

I didn’t really have too much of an issue with my Adam’s apple, but I did opt for a small surgery called a thyroid cartilage reduction to help reduce any telltale signs.

For myself, I was totally heterosexual before, and I’m totally heterosexual now. I didn’t change. I didn’t become homosexual. Being with a guy feels much more natural. The thought of being with a woman doesn’t do much for me. But that’s just me.

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