The Daily Man-Up: You Have To Learn To Love Rejection

September 14, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up

(photo: @huyphan2602)

If your ambition is to get good with girls, there’s one immutable law of game that you must recognize and accept right now – you will face rejection.

Unfortunately, even for the most experienced and best-looking players, rejection is simply an integral part of the process.

People have a natural tendency to avoid situations and feelings that are uncomfortable. If you put your hand in the fire, it’s going to hurt. Therefore our inclination is to protect ourselves as far as possible from adversity.

There’s no two ways about it – rejection is painful. When you walk up to a smoking hot girl, say hi and she ignores you, mumbles something and walks off, or worse insults you to your face, then you will feel terrible – at first. Why? Some game theorists link it back to our tribal requirement for acceptance. To get knocked back in prehistoric times meant excommunication from your social set, violence, or even death.

Of course, in the vast majority of normal interactions we face none of that today. But rejection remains a deep fear of many who are new to game, and even persists to some extent in those who’ve been macking chicks forever.

This is because when you approach a woman you are putting yourself on the line in a fundamental manner that is extremely unusual in any other area of life. Essentially, you are presenting yourself to another person and asking them to judge your fitness as a sexual prospect, even as a human being.

We live in a society where we are increasingly protected from taking personal responsibility. “Team work” is the norm, and if the team fails, then it’s not entirely your fault, right? PC culture with its insistence on egalitarianism posits that everyone is equal and that any failure is not the fault of the individual, but must be attributed to circumstances beyond his control – his upbringing, his social background and so on.

Suckling on the teat of these comfortable notions for most of our lives, we are encouraged to believe that when we don’t measure up it is someone else’s fault.

Unfortunately, in the cruel arena of the sexual marketplace, there is nowhere to hide. Some people say that rejection in game is not personal. I am inclined to disagree. I think it ispersonal in many cases. True, she could be married or simply a bitch, but generally speaking if a girl turns you down, she does so based on the manner in which you present yourself – your personality, your looks, your dress sense. Your degree of masculine dominance – or lack thereof. You put yourself forward to be judged and you were found lacking.

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