The Daily Man-Up: Responsibility: Not Apologizing When You Succeed Or Complaining When You Fail

September 18, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up

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“The greatest form of maturity is at harvest time. This is when we must learn how to reap without complaint if the amounts are small and how to reap without apology if the amounts are big.” — Jim Rohn

Don’t apologize when you succeed.

Don’t complain or blame when you fail.

Completely own and take responsibility for what you’ve attracted into your life. Said Dr. Stephen R. Covey, “We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.”

You cannot change your situation until you own that you’ve contributed to your situation.

When you take responsibility for what is happening in your life, you’re no longer the victim of circumstances. You no longer have to be a reactive object being acted upon by your environment. Instead, you can proactively act as an agent who impacts and changes your circumstances.

Don’t Complain For Failure

Lessons are repeated until they are learned.

When you fail, don’t complain. There’s nothing good that will come out of it. When you complain or blame, you immediately shut yourself off to learning. You halt your own progress and will inevitably repeat the same blunder in the future.

Failure is feedback. Failure is what neuroscientists call “prediction error,” which is essential to learning.

You made a mistake. So learn from it. Be happy about it. You just stepped outside your small realm of understanding and now you have the opportunity to expand your worldview.

If you allow this learning to sink-in, you’ll be empowered to create better outcomes in the future.

In the book, The Fifth Discipline, Peter Senge said:

“It is tempting to think that just because one understands certain principles one has “learned” about the discipline. This is the familiar trap of confusing intellectual understanding with learning. Learning always involves new understandings and new behaviors, ‘thinking’ and ‘doing.’”

If your behavior isn’t changing, then you’re not learning. True learning means you can produce a desired outcome. If you can’t consistently produce the outcome you want, then you haven’t learned.

According to Brain-scan studies, if you do not address a problem in 0.25 seconds after a mistake is made, you probably won’t do anything about it. You’ll brush-off the mistake and continue forward in the same manner you’ve been going. You won’t be learning from your experience, and thus you’ll continue moving into your future by recreating your past.

If instead, you would simply stop, address what just happened, and continue forward from a higher plane, you could then produce better outcomes in the future. You don’t have to live in your past.

This can only happen when you truly own when you’ve made a mistake. Rather than complaining for failures — or blaming the bad weather or something else — you learn from what is happening and adapt.

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