The Daily Man-Up

December 18, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating, Man-Up

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(photo: @gregoryallen)

I know the other reason you avoid meeting women is because you’re scared of bothering them. You’re ashamed that you’re going to upset them or creep them out by saying hello.

This makes you feel like approaching women is somehow fundamentally “wrong”.

That’s bullshit, though. That assumes all women are going to have a miserable time talking to you.

We’re all searching for meaningful human connections — women included. It’s at the top of our list for living a happy life. Most people will entertain 30 seconds of conversation to meet someone that could change their entire world.

Many women will be so excited to connect with you, even if you’re inexperienced. You don’t need to be perfect to make good impressions. And with time, you’re only going to get better at engaging people and making connections.

For women who aren’t interested, that doesn’t automatically mean they hated the experience. They’re often flattered someone found them interesting or attractive. I see women all the time who are blushing or smiling even after they’ve turned down a guy.

But unavoidably, some women will see you talking to them as a “negative experience”.

Why is that such a big deal?

You can introduce yourself politely and see if they’re interested in chatting. If they’re not, you accept that gracefully and leave.

You’re not ruining their day by being a human trying to connect in a healthy way. You’re not doing anything illegal. You’re not threatening them or attacking them. It’s 30 seconds of mild discomfort for them and then it becomes a distant memory.

By approaching women, you are not creating lasting emotional pain. So stop believing that you are.

Why should you give up all chances of fulfillment for you and the women who want to connect with you just in case someone feels a little awkward?

You don’t expect everyone to do that in other areas of life.

Should we stop expressing our different opinions in case it offends someone? Should we never ask for help in case it burdens someone? Should we never ask our bosses for a raise in case it upsets them?

No, that would be fucking insane. We would all be a lot more miserable.

We don’t feel “wrong” in those moments because we see the bigger picture. We understand that we only have control over our actions. We can use good judgment but we can’t read other people’s minds.

So all we can do is lead with what we want and allow others to convey what they want. Then we respect their wishes.

For a happier, more connected world, we have to risk causing slight friction to find people who align with us. I’ve watched hundreds of women build beautiful relationships from guys who just decided to walk up to them. I’m in one of those relationships myself.

If these women are feeling happier, finding their dream partners, and even starting wonderful families — it can’t be wrong for them!

Check out the rest of the article at Nick Notas

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