The Daily Man-Up: How To Pass Test From Women

March 6, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up

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(photo: @all_who_wander)

Men love a good challenge. When we have to work for something, we see it as more valuable. We tend not to appreciate what’s handed to us as much.

Think about every good story ever written. It focuses on the hero’s journey. The main character must face some struggle which makes his victory that much sweeter. If there was no tension, no battle, nothing to work for — it would be…boring.

The same goes for dating. A lot of men complain that they don’t want women to play any games. They just want them to be upfront. But what we say can be different than what we respond to.

When a woman is too available or shows too much interest early on, many men become hesitant. They question why things are so easy. And they are less attracted because of it.

So on many occasions, women are forced to challenge men in order to win their affection. And you need to be ready for when that happens. School is in session.

What are tests and why do some women challenge men?

The simplest definition I can think of is…

Any action in which a woman tries to determine whether or not you’re confident in yourself and your intentions.

It’s no secret that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in a man. So women want you to prove that you’re the real deal.

They wants to know if you’re the hero…or just another guy.

And that may threaten you. Maybe you don’t like being put on the spot. Maybe you take it as a personal attack. You think a woman is purposely trying to put you down.

What you’re missing is that much of the time when a woman tests you, it’s because she’sinterested. It’s playful flirting. Because she’s feeling attracted to you, she wants to make sure you’re really who you say you are. Women test guys they see potential in.

These tests are usually unconscious, too. It can be a natural reaction when some women feel insecure or are trying to impress you. So they project those insecurities outward as a defense mechanism.

Why it’s important to pass these tests

Women want men who are comfortable with their identity and value themselves. They don’t want good “actors”, or men who are secretly insecure and overcompensate to hide it.

When you fail a test, you’re showing a woman that she has shaken you and maybe you’re not as confident as you let on.

You’re also showing that it’s easy to get to you and you can’t roll with the punches. You’re not able to laugh at yourself or throw it back at her. Basically, you can’t keep up with a woman who’s flirting with you.

Confident men can deal with any situation that comes up. They love themselves. So in any tough moment they just have to be unashamedly themselves. There’s nothing sexier or more masculine.

What do women challenge men on?

How to fail her tests

It all starts with your frame of mind. You can’t take these challenges personally. You can’t assume she’s trying to hurt or reject you. If you do, you’ll inevitably be responding the wrong way.

Here are the most common ways I’ve found guys fail tests:

How to pass her tests

It’s simple — assume her challenges are signs of flirting. Assume she’s doing it because deep down, she likes you.

Examples to ace those tests

She says…

“You’re too short for me.” (Physical appearance)

Bad response: “I’m not that short – 5’8″ is still average.” (Justifying) “Well, I like my height.” (Being defensive)

Good response: “C’mon, you can do better than that!” (Teasing) “You’re right, you’re definitely too tall for me.” * (Challenging her)

“Are you even legal here?” (Physical appearance)

Bad response: “Yeah…uh…I turned 21 like last year. I just have always looked young.” (Explain yourself seriously)

Good response: “Aww, I’m flattered you think I look so young.” (Owning it) “Nah, I actually have a really good fake ID. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.” (Sarcastic joke)

“Aww is someone sad I beat them?” (Masculinity)

Bad response: “Whatever, I wasn’t trying anyway.” (Getting angry, being a sore loser)

Good response: “You have no idea, I’m totally going to cry myself to sleep for the next three days.” (Exaggerating) “Yeah, I’m so heartbroken. I think you need to hold me and kiss me and make me feel all better.” (Owning it)

“I can’t believe you actually watch that show [Bojack Horseman].” (Interests)

Bad response: “I don’t watch it that much.” (Denying) “Well…it’s not like a kid’s cartoon or anything, it’s for adults.” (Justifying yourself)

Good response: “Umm, you do realize that Will Arnett is fucking hilarious, right?” (Owning your interests) “Admit it, you just don’t have the confidence to love your nerdy side.” (Teasing her)

“Oh don’t tell me you’re a huge pothead.” (Interests)

Bad response: “I don’t smoke that much and it doesn’t affect me day-to-day.” (Justifying yourself) “Don’t judge me, I work hard for my money and can do what I want with it.” (Getting angry)

Good response: “Says the girl with a Long Island iced tea in her hand.” (Calling her out) “No, I’m just a normal sized pothead.” (Joking)

“You’re naive to think that any sex is good sex.” (Being patronizing towards your views)

Bad response: *Stops talking and feels stupid* (Being ashamed and going silent)

Good response: “When I’m involved, it always is. *smile*” (Owning your sexuality) “Oh get off your high horse, maybe you’ve just always had terrible sex.” (Calling her out)

You ask a girl an intimate question and she says,”Why are you asking that?” (Sexuality)

Bad response: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to pry.” (Apologizing) “Oh god, that must have come off so wrong.” (Feeling ashamed)

Good response: “Because sexuality is a whole lot of fun to talk about. *smile*” (Owning your sexuality) “Obviously because I’m trying to get to know you, duh.” (Challenging her)

“Are you trying to pick me up?” (Sexuality)

Bad response: “No, no I’m just being friendly.” (Denying)

Good response: “That all depends — is it working?” (Being silly) “I deadlift 330 — I could throw you over my shoulder like nothing.” (Joking) “Of course I am, but I want to get to know you first, too.” (Owning your intentions) “

You flirt with her and she says, “You know I’m not sleeping with you tonight, right?”(Sexuality)

Bad response: “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” (Apologizing)

Good response: “Slow down lady, I’m not that easy.” (Challenging her) “Haha, you say that now…” (Owning your intentions) “Of course, sex is always better on the second date.” (Owning your frame of mind)

It’s time you start giving all the right answers and show women how much of a catch you are.

Class dismissed.


Check out more awesome dating articles by Nick at

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