The Daily Man-Up: Nice Guys Don’t Have To Finish Last

June 12, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating Advice, Man-Up

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(photo: @gregoryallen)

In high school I was your typical nice guy, got along with everyone, had a bunch of friends but I was so shy when it came to women. I could have a conversation with a girl who I thought was pretty but in the end that conversation wound up me being very neutral / agreeable and even if I didn’t agree with them I never expressed my opinion for the fear of them being put off or offended. When a girl i liked said something like "Oh I forgot to get a fork when I got lunch", I would be the first person to be like "Oh ill go grab you one" or if she forgot her home work "Oh you can copy off mine". Basically I did things to help her and even though it wasn’t a conscious decision, I was pretty much at her becking call. I thought these were actions that would make her like me. Unfortunately 98% of the time I never got the girl, she would always wind up dating a guy who wasn’t 1/2 as nice as I was to her.

It took a lot of lost girls to figure out what I was doing wrong in this aspect. I finally realized what was going on. It wasn’t that most girls aren’t interested in nice guys. It was girls aren’t interested in a guy who is a pushover / weenie. My actions of always being there for whatever she needed, always complementing her and offering to do whatever I thought would make her happy are things that friends do. When you do these typed of things over and over again you’re taking the challenge of her winning your affection away. You are giving her what she should have to earn. What’s the point of competing in a competition when you already know you’re going to win? Women want to be desired but it’s not worth anything to them if you just give it to them.

What you see when a woman goes for a guy being a dick is a woman who wants to a challenge. She wants the satisfaction of earning a man’s attention. Most women don’t want everything handed to them, would you? I am sure a lot of you have had a girl who was into you but you wanted nothing to do with. If you have then you know what it feels like for a women who has a guy do everything and anything for her. It’s like that dog who keeps licking your face, ya its cute but could you live with that dog 24/7? The thing is though, you don’t need to turn into a complete asshole to get a girl you wan’t.

You need to start to be your own person. You need to have your own opinions and don’t be afraid to express them. When you talk to a girl you like or a girl you think is pretty you need to pretend (even if you don’t) you have other options than her and it doesn’t matter if she likes you or not. You need to put your world and priorities a head of her. So lets say you are supposed to go out with your friends and some girls asks you to come out with her and her friends. Don’t change your plans to hang out with her and her friends. You got your own stuff to do. Don’t give women compliments all the time. If it looks like she put some extra time in to getting ready, sure you can say she looks good but that should be the end of it. Don’t be afraid to poke fun and tease her about stuff just don’t harp on it. She makes a stupid mistake then call her retard or something but drop it after that. If you get a girls number then don’t use it for a continuous conversation. You should be using the number to setup dates and times to hang out. Don’t use it as a tool to getting to know them or them knowing you, save that for the time you spend together. If she starts texting you don’t be a little puppy dog waiting by the phone for her texts. Even if you are make it seem like you’re busy and space out time time between texts. When you decided to schedule a time and place to hangout you need to be decisive. None of this "well ill do what ever you want to do". You make the decision at every point you can. It shows you are dominant and can take control. I am running on at this point but the main point of this is be you’re own person. The more you make them earn your affection the better it will turn out for you. Don’t make your life revolve around them.

– Frankie Witherspoon



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