And This Is Why You Shouldn’t Smoke Crack

June 27, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: TRUTH

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I just spent 2 hours searching the nooks and crannies of every inch of floor in this bitch. Between the couches, around the car, fucking everywhere. It brought me back to my teenage years, where I’d do the same thing for weed. Only then, it wasn’t accompanied with absolute desperation and pain. I just thought I was having a bad day, and that one hit is actually all it’d take to calm me down for awhile.

The entire time with this chest clenching, damn near painful angst that just fucking BEGS you for “one more hit. That’s all I need baby, just one more”

That bitch is a liar. Even if you get that one more, all you’re doing is restarting your come down clock.

It’s lasts all of 15 mins before those pains start crashing in. If you’re lucky.. I’ve had them start 30 seconds after a hit. Just didn’t get the hit I wanted or my body needed, You can’t escape it.

Before my search tonight, which isn’t my first (and they are always unsuccessful, cause your baser ass woulda fuckin known if you dropped something), I scraped the resin (which is unlike pot resin, it’s really just melted crack that didn’t ignite), took my last hit and told myself “that’s it”

You (at least me, I’m sure it’s the same with a lot of people) just CAN NOT control yourself. You’re walking to the kitchen and see a white spot on the floor and you’re diving at the bitch head first. “OHH FUCKING PLEASE GOD, IM BEGGING, JUST ONE MORE WILL DO IT”

It won’t. And you (I) find myself looking at the ground, every where you walk. As if even.

The more you do and/or the bigger your hits, the more it fucking hurts. The more it hurts the more desperate you become.

If you ever felt this pain, it’s fucking obvious why people go to such great lengths. I’m not going to steal or anything, but I have spent money I shouldn’t have. Auto ordering it on auto pilot.

It’s pretty fucking nuts. I’m over here trying to calculate how I can live with no money and shit. Like “ok if I save that for the power and a piece for rent, I can spend this $100 for crack and then I just won’t eat for 2 weeks. Yea, definitely, no problem I can do that”

And you spend that $100 and it’s gone in 4 fucking hours cause you thought you were crack rich and gonna take some massive rips. 2 hours of that is scraping resin, the rock seems to evaporate into thin air Everytime you look away.

I’ve done meth, I’ve done herion. Ain’t shit bitch. You might’ve felt these urges from coke, now just ramp that shit 300x. Coke doesn’t do an ounce of justice in explaining these. I’d rather get eaten alive from the asshole up when these kick in.

I know they are there. They are unavoidable. And yet for some reason I still put myself in this position. For a high that’s “alright” at best.

2 months ago I’d have called you an ignorant bitch for saying you use coke, but then scoff at crack. I’d have told you “it’s literally the same drug”.

Anyone who’s me from 8-9 months ago. Pass. HARD. I don’t regret a single drug I’ve done. Non of them could conquer me. I’d have a fling, and be off to other things. Do them here and there, but never, ever, EVER, felt the dire need for one substance.

Crack makes me think about crack. Days after. You’ll still be looking for that rock you know you didn’t drop.

I’m going to make it through this. But some people just can’t. You won’t have to search far to find the countless stories of successful people throwing their entire lives away for crack. It’s not taboo. It’s crack. For real.

This is coming from a poli-addict. I understand people get strung out on xanax and herion, and the withdrawals could be death. I’ve done them. I (a fucking drug addict that needs to be high) never craved a particular drug so much. To me, it’s a scary feeling. Terrifying even

Writing this took a bit and my come down is nigh. Guaranteed I still can’t sleep for another 3-4 hours, and I’m tired as fuck.

– david pastaroni

 

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