The Daily Man-Up: Are You The Man She Wants or The One She’ll Settle For?

August 23, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up, Dating Advice

(photo: @joanna_nix)

What women really want in a man?

The simple answer to the question above…confidence.

Yes, the elusive quality that every woman says they’re looking for in a man. Guys think that it equates to being aloof, emotionally distant, and kind of an asshole – but those are just insecurities posing as confidence.

What a woman really values is a guy who values himself.

A guy who has standards and specific qualities he looks for in a partner. A guy who wants someone who will genuinely respect him and will be excited to invest back in him.

A guy that isn’t going to settle for just anyone.

Women want men who have options. They want to feel like they actually have to earn your approval (not that they just got it because they’re hot and/or you’re lonely.) They have to feel like they could lose you if you’re not getting the connection you desire.

A woman wants a man who’s a catch. And they definitely don’t want to date down.

It comes down to how you’re presenting yourself – are you showing her that you WANT her, or that you NEED her?

When you’re needy and seeking validation, you will never be her first choice. You can’t hide your neediness by memorizing lines or playing games – the truth will always reveal itself.

You have to lead with behaviors that show that you value you. You have to act congruent with who you really are and what you want. You have to prioritize YOUR happiness first.

That’s the only way to develop a mindset of true self-confidence and never be the guy women settle for again.

The man women want vs who they settle for

Here are some scenarios to differentiate “first choice” behavior from “backup plan” guy.

He expresses his boundaries (“my time is important to me”) to a woman who constantly cancels on him or never commits to a date. He walks away if he’s tried 2 or 3 times to meet up and she hasn’t followed through. First choice.

He always says, “No problem, when are you free next?” and is available whenever she decides to invest in him (if ever). He continues to chase women who are distant. He may even resort to emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, or intimidation to try and get her to invest in him. Backup.

He flirts with women he likes over text and in-person from the start of their connection. He creates physical contact and goes for kisses on dates. He shows interest because he wants an intimate connection and will then see if that woman wants the same. First choice.

He doesn’t flirt or create physical contact because he’s ashamed women may be put off by his sexuality and they’ll reject him. He instead acts like a friend and waits for a woman to make a move or show interest. Backup.

Check out the rest of the article here


More Men’s Dating Advice:

What Does Confidence Look Like To A Woman?


6 Reasons Why Women Always See You As Just a Friend


As Long As You Approach Her, It’s A Success

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