by Nick Notas
- The longer you wait to make the first kiss, the less likely it’ll happen. If you haven’t kissed by the third date, your chances drop significantly.
- You can be intimate on the first date and still create a healthy relationship.
- The friend zone happens when there’s a lack of sexual attraction. To avoid it: show your intentions from the start, be more aggressive, flirt, and initiate physical contact.
- All the lines or routines in the world won’t help if you aren’t confident from the inside.
- Dating is a numbers game. The guys who are best with women are the ones willing to put themselves on the line as often as possible.
- Body language and non-verbal communicationwill make or break your first impression. Stand tall, relax your shoulders, walk with self-assurance, give strong eye contact, and smile.
- Your vocal tone and quality conveys a lot about you, so develop a strong speaking voice. Learn diaphragmatic breathing, speak from your chest (diaphragm), project your voice, talk slower, and enunciate clearly.
- Forget trying to come up with the perfect opening line. A simple “Hey, what’s up?” or “Hi, you looked cool and I wanted to introduce myself” is enough. It’s not what you say, it’show you say it.
- An attractive lifestyle will do more for your dating life than almost anything else will. If you’re surrounded by positive people and interesting experiences, she’ll be excited to be a part of that.
1. I think the thing lots of guys don’t understand is there is a difference between being nice and being kind. Anybody can be “nice” but if you’re only being nice to someone to gain something in return, I think most people can pick up on that and it’s a huge turn-off. However if you’re genuinely a kind person and treat people well regardless of what they can offer you, that is very very attractive.
2. “Intelligence and naturally fluid conversation get me every time, and well-fitting clothes convey thoughtfulness and poise. You could look like an inflated lawn gnome and if you’ve got those two things goin’ on, I’d hit it. And I totally dated a guy (with those qualities) that was the spitting image of an inflated lawn gnome. Like to the point where complete strangers would comment on it. So yeah.”
3. Style and hygiene. Good dresser and smells good, your ugliness will kind of fade in the background.
4. A great personality and sense of humor. There’s been so many times that I initially found a guy unattractive, but after an hour or so of laughing and joking with him I’ve realized “Shit, I want to get his pants off.”
5. I find responsibility and ambition extremely attractive. It’s not about money. It’s about a guy who has his shit together, who’s looking for a partner and not a mother.
1. Listening. When we say “right there” do NOT change what you are doing!! That usually means we’re close to an orgasm and if you change something it all goes away. And please make noise! Sex should be fun, noisy, sweaty and a good time!
2. If I’m saying YESOHMYGOD DONT STOP, try to keep it up, don’t stop, pull out and decide that is the time to switch positions. So frustrating.
3. If you enjoy it, let the girl know. It’s really awkward if the girl’s enjoying herself and moaning and the guy is just ninja-quiet. I know some guys are conditioned to be all quiet, but during sex, it comes off as weirdly contemplative and like you’re uncertain.
1. Pretended to be interested in me, we developed a great friendship 3 strong years at the time. Then I met my future husband, he noticed that I have never been so interested and in love with someone. He would comment sarcastically on our pictures on facebook. He then confessed his love for me and begs me to leave him by saying that he has put up with my shit for so long. In my defense, he never showed romantic interest. He lived in Texas, he drove all the way to California to bombard me at 3am, threatening to kill himself If i dont ever love him back, threatened to hurt my husband and such. I called the cops and now I have a restraining order against him.
2. I was friends with this guy for a couple years, but was never interested in dating him. I was fairly certain he was aware of that, and since he never said or did anything that seemed to me like he was interested in me either, I assumed we were legitimately friends. He never asked me out, he never made any comment even suggesting he wanted anything more. We were fairly close, and had a lot of mutual friends. I never thought anything else was going on.
Apparently, this was not the case. A couple days after I got a new boyfriend, I update my relationship status on Facebook. My “friend” calls me within like…2 minutes of this update, and immediately starts shouting at me, demanding to know why he “wasn’t good enough for me” and why my boyfriend “was so much better than him.” I tired to get him to calm down, but he just kept yelling about how he was a “nice guy” and how he had “always been so nice to me, why didn’t I ever give him a chance?” I calmly tried to explain to him that I never got any signals from him, and I didn’t think I ever did anything to lead him on or anything, and he shouted that “he’s such a nice guy and doesn’t deserve to be friend-zoned like this.”
I made one final attempt to salvage the conversation, and tried to explain that I was sorry if he felt deceived, but it also really hurt my feelings that I thought he legitimately valued me as a person and wanted to be my friend, but now he’s just mad I won’t sleep with him. He flat-out screamed at me “FUCK YOU! You’re just a cold bitch! I bet your boyfriend’s an asshole anyway!!!”
I hung up on him and he never spoke to me again. Two years of relatively close friendship down the drain in one phone call. It felt pretty shitty.
In high school I was your typical nice guy, got along with everyone, had a bunch of friends but I was so shy when it came to women. I could have a conversation with a girl who I thought was pretty but in the end that conversation wound up me being very neutral / agreeable and even if I didn’t agree with them I never expressed my opinion for the fear of them being put off or offended. When a girl i liked said something like "Oh I forgot to get a fork when I got lunch", I would be the first person to be like "Oh ill go grab you one" or if she forgot her home work "Oh you can copy off mine". Basically I did things to help her and even though it wasn’t a conscious decision, I was pretty much at her becking call. I thought these were actions that would make her like me. Unfortunately 98% of the time I never got the girl, she would always wind up dating a guy who wasn’t 1/2 as nice as I was to her.
It took a lot of lost girls to figure out what I was doing wrong in this aspect. I finally realized what was going on. It wasn’t that most girls aren’t interested in nice guys. It was girls aren’t interested in a guy who is a pushover / weenie. My actions of always being there for whatever she needed, always complementing her and offering to do whatever I thought would make her happy are things that friends do. When you do these typed of things over and over again you’re taking the challenge of her winning your affection away. You are giving her what she should have to earn. What’s the point of competing in a competition when you already know you’re going to win? Women want to be desired but it’s not worth anything to them if you just give it to them.
Chances are that if you’ve used the internet within the last 10 years, you’ve watched porn.
Recently, there has been an online movement against overexposure to pornography. Gary Wilson lead this rebellion by creatingwww.yourbrainonporn.com along with a now infamous TED talk. His overall message is that masturbating to porn regularly can produce the following symptoms:
- Erectile disfunction (43% of adult males experience it)
- Difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner (delayed ejaculation)
- Experiencing greater sexual excitement with porn than with a partner
- Decreasing sensitivity of penis
- Coming when you are only partly erect, or getting totally erect only as you come
- Needing to fantasize to maintain erection or interest with sexual partner
- Earlier genres of porn are no longer “exciting”
- Declining sexual arousal with a sexual partner(s)
- Losing erection while attempting penetration
- Can’t maintain erection or ejaculate with oral sex
Some people argue that his findings are unscientific and unfounded. Whether you agree with the above is up to you, but I’m not here to argue those points. I’m here to discuss a different negative resulting from porn that I know is true for many guys.
Consistent masturbation to pornography stops men from meeting women.
1. Was watching a movie together on a couch and she went to lay her head on my lap. I got up to get her a pillow and blanket and set her up on the other end of the couch.
In my defense it was the first time watching The Matrix.
2. Went to a party, was hitting it off with a girl I knew through some social circles. She was cute and a ton of fun, but I had to take off after a few hours.
The party was in a friends apartment in the same building I lived in at the time. She was following me out, saying she needed to leave as well. We both called the elevator, and just kept small talk/flirting going on in the elevator.
I got to my floor, and she said that she thinks she forgot her jacket at my apartment. At this point I didn’t catch what was going on, so I told her that she’s never been to my apartment.
I only realized what the hell was going on after the elevator doors closed.
1. I had a friend once who would keep women’s pads/tampons at his place, along with a hair brush for thick hair, hairbands and women’s disposable razors.
I was a little weirded out by it when I first went to his place but I guess he’s had so many girls there that have wanted/needed that stuff that he just started keeping some around.
2. Men who are experienced with women in my experience usually have no need to prove that I am their girlfriend in public. At most they have their hand on my lower back.
I have noticed that more inexperienced men feel the need to “lay claim to me” by being touchy feely in public or sort of shielding me with their body language from other Men.
Also, when the topic of sex does come up most experienced men realize that women do in fact like sex while the inexperienced man I dated walked on eggshells around that topic until it became incredibly awkward.
3. Experienced: knows where your clit is and how to touch it. Inexperienced: what’s a clit?
4. I think a guy is experienced when kissing him feels fluid and enjoyable rather than it feeling like a guy is trying too hard and he ends up just pushing his lips onto yours forcefully.