Dating

Date + lay, learned about what makes a good date

December 28, 2011 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

first date

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I had a date yesterday that went really well, ended up staying over at her place and had sex twice.

I learned a TON from this, and I think some of it might be useful.

I haven’t been on many dates. I’m more of a same-night lay sort of guy. To be honest, dates actually frighten me. So much of my AFC dating in the past was awful and anxiety-ridden, so I actually avoided standard dating.

This one went well. Here’s what I did to make it happen: I had a general plan of how it would go that wasn’t too specific. I met her near where she lives — this is crucial, it allows you somewhere to go later. I picked a starbucks in the middle of a promenade-style area. Gives us an obvious way to start the date, with the option of open-ended walking around checking stuff out.

First lesson: Have a plan, assume you’ll lead, but also be flexible.

After starbucks, I thought we would walk around. Turned out, she was hungry and suggested a bar with food. Right on! Happy to oblige. If I had tried to go along with my original plan, it would’ve been weird.

Second lesson: Take responsibility for moving the date forward, and do it before a venue feels “stale.”

I had good instincts both times. I moved us out of starbucks at a good time. And moved us out of the bar at a good time. By good time, I mean we were chatting, having fun, feeling good, and right as the conversation hit a natural transition point, I suggested we go. I didn’t wait until the venue became boring. And I didn’t wait for her to do it.

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On being an Authentic Man

December 14, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

authentic man

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Seduction and game fascinate me. So many different thoughts, philosophies and theories combined, interpreted and reinterpreted to many different lives, lifestyles and contexts. I’ve taken in as much information as I can, and as I’ve begun to practise it I’ve developed a theory of my own behind it, as broad a concept in order to reach the root of what we consider game to be.

One of the great dismays of adulthood is that we cannot separate the aspects (or indeed lack thereof) of our lives; our work-lives, family-lives, love-lives and social-lives are unmistakeably intertwined due to a common factor – Ourselves. It’s easy to focus on one aspect. Like the basement nerd, or the workaholic, the mummy’s boy or even the player; none of these have particularly positive connotations, and they are unhealthy because the individual is struggling to find validation along a single branch of their life. Branches are a good metaphor for this, the further along you go the weaker the branch and the greater likelihood of a fall. That is to say, to seek validation in any one aspect can only take you so far, and you never know when you might lose that tenuous support.

A far stronger alternative is to be the tree trunk, which supports each branch flawlessly and continuously grows. To balance each different aspect and the responsibilities that come with it will provide an internal validation, you may look at yourself and say “Look at how complete the mastery of my life is, look how I can embody these roles as the same person, how I can be the dutiful son, the industrious worker, the social butterfly and the Casanova when other men are content to simply be one of these.”

I call this state the authentic man as a reference to Sartre’s ideas of ‘living in authenticity’. You face up to your responsibilities and truly own your own life. Each action you take has meaning because you have owned your circumstances, you have effected change by the strength of your will and the force of your action and the consequences, good or bad, are yours. You realise that when you do not act, you allow external forces to affect you, the action is not yours but the consequences are still owned by you.

This is perfect for seduction, when you have taken control of your responsibilities there is nothing that weighs on your mind, nothing to affect your state. Anything a girl asks about your life you have the perfect answer for, because you have refined and perfected that aspect. You are freed from AFC behaviour by this authenticity of action with regards to your thoughts. You do not shy away from your responsibilities; you do not shy away from the very instincts of manhood. You have no need to make declarations of affection to a girl; she already knows you want to be around her because your touch shows her this (kino). She already knows you want to get to know her because you ask the right questions to tap into the roots of her passions. She knows you find her gorgeous because the tone of your voice tells her your thoughts and your eyes are gazing into hers. You don’t suffer from fixations or oneitis because you have everything you need in life; you are just indulging your desires. You do not feel inferior or unsuitable to any girl because you are the complete man, and that is more any woman is looking for and the most a woman can ask for. You have no reason to feel challenged by another male in your pursuit even though they may seem superior to you in some aspect, because you outstrip him in all others. You will not feel any approach anxiety because you have nothing to be anxious about.

Taking control of your responsibilities and fulfilling them sounds like a lot of work, and people have become very successful with women without doing so. But I consider even taking steps towards living in authenticity to be vastly superior to the concept of the alpha-male and ‘faking it until you make it’, to fake it you have to constantly second guess your actions to make sure you’re acting in the ‘ideal’ way, you lock yourself in your own head. Whereas by actually staking stock and devising practical solutions to your life, you are given the confidence of a man who knows what he wants and how he gets it. That is the mark of a great man in the making.

I don’t mean to share an ideal state and then leave people to puzzle about to attain it. I wish I could say with authenticity (see what I did there?) that I have reached this state. I haven’t, but in working towards it I sometimes get glimpses of how it feels. Everyone will have to reach this in their own way, I only offer one idea which will not be novel to anyone familiar with anything self-help.

I sat down with a pen and paper and my favourite music in the background. I thought about my life, considered where I was successful and where I was failing. I was as open and honest with myself as I could possibly be. Then I wrote basic goals to get into the career I wanted to, to get the body I wanted to have, to have the interests and abilities I wanted to. I was specific in my desires, and the steps to take but I did not expect too much of myself. Now every evening before I go to sleep I write down a task list for the next day, I wake up, exercise and try to tick off every item, sometimes I don’t manage it, and I have good days and bad days, but every day I know I’m making a step towards living in authenticity.

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Today is the first day of the rest of my life

December 5, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

success with women

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Today, things will be different.

Today I will wake up and look in the mirror with a big fat grin — why? Because I’m one sexy motherfcuker. I might have three eyes, acne craters like mars and slanted as fcuk cheekbones but it DOESN’T matter, because I am thebaddest motherfcuker around, and despite all my genetic defects I rock that shiet like a champion. I own my body, because this is MY fcuking body, and you might have one that’s better shaped but you can’t rock yours better than me. Because I’m fcuking awesome, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m the sexiest motherfcuker on this planet.

Today I will put on whatever the fcuk I think looks cool and walk out the door with a big fcuking grin on my face. I’m going to say hi to that old lady with the dog and give a sly grin at the hunny walking down the street. Do I look creepy? Who the fcuk cares, I’m me. I’m gonna walk into class/work with that same fcuking grin like I just got laid by Jennifer Lopez. I’m gonna say hi to the prof/boss and all the students/co-workers. Then I’m gonna go plop myself down next to that cute girl I’ve always wanted to talk to and introduce myself. It won’t matter what the fcuk I say, because I’m fcuking awesome — I can say whatever the fcuk I want it’ll sound cool. And if she’s cold to me? She just lost her shot at one of the coolest bastard around.

Then I’m going to go to the fcuking gym, and pump iron like a boss. It doesn’t matter what the fcuk I’m pumping — I might be in the same gym as Ronnie Coleman, but I am going to rock those 20 pounders like a BOSS and make Coleman look like a pussy. Why? Because I’m the fcuking coolest. You might be working a higher weight, but guess what motherfcuker, that’s not gonna last.

This is how I’m going to live my life. Society is built with insecure, depressed nuts, spending their lives trying to reinforce the status quo because they’re afraid of standing out. The put you down, and try and stratify you as fat, ugly, beta. We aren’t motherfcuking betas, gents, we aren’t even alphas. We’re our own god damned species that’s transcended these idiotic societal rules. We define our reality. Sure, the rest of the world might disagree — but they’re depressed little drones, while we’re mindlessly happy, and the happy, care-free and joyous reality will always win over those around.

Go forth, be the kings of your fcuking domain, don’t give the slightest fcuk what anyone says because they’re projecting their own insecurities on you (in other words, they’re regurgitating the self-defeating talk they give to themselves when they want to let loose but are too afraid to). You are a man who’s gone through the pains of being shoved into a crater of society, and now you’ve broken out. So shove a toothpick in your mouth, wear that rediculous hat you love and rock out with your cocks out guns a blazing because the world is your oyster, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Peace out brethren.

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A Definitive List Of Signs That A Girl Is Interested In You

December 2, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

indicators of interests

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These are helpful things to look for when trying to gauge attraction.

This list I wrote may help some of you out.

  • If you’re talking to a cashier and she tells you for any reason when she gets off work, she wants you to come back.

    If a girl gives you her number, on some level she is interested. Meaning she gives it to you without you prompting her first, though often if she gives it to you after you ask her it still means she’s interested* If a girl repeatedly mentions how she wishes she had a nice guy to date, she is interested.

    If a girl asks about your relationship status out of the blue, she is interested.

    If a girl you don’t know approaches you and asks for the time, but then lingers in your vicinity, she wants you to come back up and approach her because she is interested.

    If a girl who is not a best friend type suggests watching a movie when you two are hanging out alone, she wants something to happen. She is interested.

    If a girl says she “needs to talk to you”, but then it ends up being something really stupid like “I don’t know what colour to dye my hair”, then she probably chickened out of telling you she likes you.

    Physical touching while a girl is having a conversation with you usually means she is interested.

    Any time a girl seems to giggle WAY more than she should during a conversation, it means she is interested.

    If a girl you’re not very close friends with mentions the fact she broke up with her ex and is looking for someone new, by God make a move! She is interested. This could mean it’s just a rebound relationship, but nonetheless she’s interested

    A girl almost never talks about wanting a one night stand to a guy unless she wants to with him. (This is more on the topic of sex than dating, but I thought I’d include it anyway)

    This one blows my mind that some guys miss! If a girl asks to sit next to you somewhere where there are other viable empty places/tables to sit at, she’s interested!

    If a girl starts talking about “how well you two get along”, she is interested in you.

    If a non-best friend girl is with her friends and ditches them to hang out with you, she is interested in you.

    If a girl tells you she’s lonely at home (by means of text, E-Mail, FaceBook, phone, etc. etc.), she wants you to come over! She most likely is interested in you!

    If a girl says she’s really cold in an obviously warm environment, she probably wants you to warm her up (either through a hug or occasionally offering your jacket chivalrously). She’s interested in you.

    If a girl starts complaining about how all the guys just want her for sex, and that she wishes she had a sweet guy, she’s interested in you. However, I can’t guarantee she’d really be the type most guys would want to date. At the same time, this can be one of the few less obvious hints, where she is testing how you react and judging your answer to see if you’re someone she’s interested in.

    If a girl says she’s “new in town” and wants someone to show her around, nine times out of ten it’s because she’s trying to find an excuse to be around you one on one.

    If a girl seems to be smiling with you way more than she does when she talks to other people, she’s interested in you.

    I know it’s cliche, but a lot of girls still twirl their hair when flirting. Girls usually stop doing this by the time they’re 21.

    A girl who keeps beating herself up on her looks, not only is she fishing for a compliment, she’s fishing for YOUR compliment. Though this usually means she’s interested in you, she could just be looking for attention. If she does it often to multiple people, it’s probably the latter.

    In most contexts, if a girl asks you how her outfit looks, she wants you to check her out. She is interested in you.

    If a girl talks about how long she spent getting ready and then asks your opinion on how she looks, she did it to impress you. (If she does this when you and her had specifically made plans to hang out, it’s even more explicit. Exceptions to this rule are weddings, parties, etc. etc.)

    Girls like confidence. If you think a girl is interested in you, go for it! The worst that happens is a no. If she has a worse reaction, she’s someone you wouldn’t want to be around anyway.

    If a girl is constantly leaving you to talk very briefly to her other female friends, then runs back to you to talk more. She is interested in you and is filling them in on all the details. This is especially true if it’s accompanied by a lot of smiling. Disclaimer: It’s impossible to know if these are always true in every situation, but from my experience they are true. Please don’t shoot me in the face if some turn out not to work for you.

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    A Full Episode Of MTV’s Friendzone Because It Is A Valuable Learning Tool For All The Guys Out There

    November 28, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

    Here’s a valuable tool for all the guys out there who want to avoided the dreaded friendzone. Watch this episode of MTV’s new show and do and be opposite of what this guy does and embodies. Rule #1 of the Friendzone: Don’t get yourself in the friendzone in the first place. If you had the confidence, swagger and were well knowledge in the area of social dynamics, you would have already had the girl and you wouldn’t be wasting your time secretly pining over her while simultaneously being her BFF. If you find yourself consistently in the friendzone, do yourself a service and jump over to RSD Nation and read up!

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    The guy all the girls want, and all the guys look up to

    November 22, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

    giving value

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    I know this has been said a million different ways (hell, I’ve read probably most variations already); but it just recently “clicked” for me and I wanted to share in case someone else might find it helpful. I don’t mean to re-invent anything, think of this post as a reminder.

    For some years now, I’ve been one of the most pragmatic, nihilist sons of biatches I know. I’ve been self-centered, my interests always ahead of everyone’s, if not the only important thing. This didn’t bring me happiness, nor did it bring me abundance as I’ve always wanted. Sure, I’ve gotten lots of girls all these years, way more than I would have had I not studied seduction. But they didn’t ever “fill that gap”: I was never truly happy, and I could tell they weren’t either. Furthermore, they weren’t exactly the quality women I knew I was looking for. Me being an asshole, most of these girls always had some sort of problem where they were a perfect match for my don’t-give-a-fcuk attitude. But this rarely ended well, and for a long time I haven’t had a meaningful, long, serious relationship.

    I started hitting the gym, learned about psychoanalysis, read everything seduction related on the internet, and in the end, same results.

    However, I recently noticed that getting women was probably the sole purpose of my life. Almost everything I did was, in some way, related to getting more women in the end. This mentality made me either not give as much value as I could’ve given, or even worse, take value instead. Since I noticed this, I’ve been working on shifting my way of looking at life to a new purpose: improve in every way possible, so as to give value to everyone. And for the first time in many years, I feel like I’m on my way to true happiness, a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders.

    Now that my purpose is to leave everyone at a better place than where I found them, everything is different. The veil has been lifted from my eyes. All the reasons why I improve myself (physically, mentally, socially) are now oriented to having a life where I have so much value to give, everyone is, if only for a moment, happier for having met me.

    So what I guess it comes down to is: shift your focus. Elevate everyone. If you’ve been hitting the gym to get ripped and get more girls, fine… but also incorporate helping/motivating someone who might be stuck at the point where you started, for example. Help everyone whenever possible, no matter who. You don’t need to step too much out of your way (or be a doormat who is at the very whim of the people you try to help), but do help when you can.

    If they don’t appreciate it, fine. Continue on your merry way. If they appreciate it, that’s a bonus. If they reciprocate by giving value to your life, keep them in there. Those are few and far between.

    When you start truly practicing this, you will find you no longer care if you get the girl, or how many, etc. Your mind won’t be wondering about IOI’s, negs, and all that stuff. You already know this, but since your focus is to give value, they will be drawn to you (of course you can then charm them by being the suave motherfcuker seddit has taught you to be).

    In the end, (and sorry for the long ass post) I can sum it up like this: keep improving your life, so that you can give value to everyone else’s.

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    Here’s A Little Pep Talk For All The Guys Out There Looking For Some Action This Weekend

    November 18, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

    sexy girl

    The world is full of women who want to get laid and can’t. 

    They’re everywhere. They’re decent looking. But they either never get approached, or all the guys who approach them have no game. They want to get laid. They won’t admit it, at least not to you. If they did, it would sound like they were begging for sex. But trust me, they’re just waiting for a guy with a little bit of confidence to find them, talk to them, and give them what they want. Which is cock. They want cock. Girls want cock just as much as guys want pussy. Keep that in mind next time you get approach anxiety.

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    The Friend Zone Is Beatable! Here’s One Guy’s Story On How He Overcame That Vortex Of Doom

    November 15, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating, Story |

    success baby

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    It was september 2010, my first year in college and I am a computer science major. In one of my programming classes there was a rather attractive female, ill call her HB10, who was really passionate about programming. This was a fcuking turn on for me. I started talking to her and we quickly became study partners. I would text her almost daily. This was a big mistake. I think she was into me nonetheless. I finally got the balls to invite her over to my place to study instead of the library. She fcuking set up camp on my bed. I sat at my desk like an IDIOT. Didnt make a move. Sat there imagining hooking up with her. I had only made out with one other girl which is a funny fcukkkking afc story, but i digress.

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