Relationships are like the Big Bang of pick-up. All the rules break down. There are no routines to fall back on, and you are forced to reveal your truest self. What follows is a short list of principles I’ve found to be true in most relationships and for most (healthy) women. They are not rules. Think of them more as guidelines that can help you stay healthy, positive, and open while keeping things in perspective. Bombs away.
1. WOMEN WANT TO HAVE FUN
The old song is true. Girls just want to have fun. If you and your girl don’t have fun, don’t expect her to stick around. This is why, in surveys, women consistently list a sense of humor as the most desirable trait in a partner. It is really difficult to overstate how much this is true.
1a. Here’s what this means for you:
Learn to have fun at any time, no matter what you are doing. And don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself. If you can develop a sense of self-enjoyment, you will never be bored. For example, if you and your lady are walking, and you see a jungle gym, and she squeals and makes a break for it, don’t sulk and quietly wait for her to finish playing. Instead, run as fast as you can, push her out of the way, climb to the top, rip your shirt off, and scream, “I am the king and this is my kingdom! You will never defeat me, infidel!” And when she tries, pounce on her and tickle her until she pees in public. It doesn’t have to be that extreme, of course. Throw popcorn at her during a movie. If she drags you into a women’s clothing store, pull some shiet off the rack, try it on, and ask the clerk’s opinion. Tackle her into bed. Smile. Laugh. Make some memories, for fuk’s sake. Be playful, and never, ever say no to fun.
by Nick Notas
Especially in self-improvement and pickup circles, men love to preach about what “class” of male you should be. If you’re an alpha male, you are the leader of the pack and get all the women. If you’re a beta male, you are a loser push-over that no one will ever love.
It’s all nonsense and the classification is extremely harmful. Men become so obsessed with this idea that they base every action on whether or not they are being “alpha”. They enjoy laughing at weak beta males and feel superior because of it.
What’s funny is that I’ve noticed the men who are most vocal about this are usually the most insecure. They have no idea what it means to be genuinely confident. They use arrogance as a way to protect themselves from having real connections with people. They need to prove themselves as true men by overcompensating. You can almost hear them screaming “Look everybody, I am an alpha male! Hear me roar!”
I’m here to disprove what many people believe makes an “alpha male” and show you what it means to be a real, confident human being.
1. You’re not supposed to feel any “sissy” emotions.
Alpha males claim that you shouldn’t feel fear, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, shame, or self-doubt. If you do, you’re supposed to ignore, avoid, and shove those emotions away.ALPHA ALL THE TIME.
Sorry, but these are normal human emotions that everyone experiences. Without them, you will struggle with empathy and relating to others. The key is to not bury these emotions but to learn how to manage and accept them. Trying to escape them only intensifies their control over you.
Yes, your day-to-day life and outlook should not be ruled by these emotions. But you will feel them at some point and that’s perfectly okay. Remind yourself that it is normal, temporary, and does not dictate your overall character. Have the courage to work through them and challenge your comfort zone. Action will lead to further confidence.
2. Attraction is everything when meeting women.
When men get into dating advice they think that you have to “game” women constantly. If you let up with your flirting, teasing, sexual innuendo, sarcasm, cockiness, or physical contact for even a second she’s going to walk away. They believe that you always need to demonstrate your value and spike attraction to be a ladies man.
Then they have conversations like:
Why is it that women flock to some men and ignore others? Is it because of looks, confidence, humor, enthusiasm, personality, status, etc?
Depending on the circumstances and the girl, any one of these ‘reasons’ could be the deciding factor, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that these are all symptoms of something deeper, something more fundamental. They are the outward expression of a single ‘rule’ for attracting women.
The problem with most dating advice is that it focuses on developing or exhibiting these traits and ignores the actual cause of these traits. It focuses on ways to ‘fake it’ and get around your inability to attract women.
Some advice involves lying or making up stories to make you seem more attractive. Other advice involves various flavors of changing who you are to make a girl like you.
These methods can work in the short term, but that doesn’t make them right, and in the long term, they usually leave you unhappy because you are rejecting who you really are just so you can get a girl to like you.
The key to becoming attractive is to avoid studying tricks and tactics and work on the inner cause of what makes you an attractive person.
What you really need to attract women
The reason why some men struggle to attract women, or for that matter, anything they want into their lives is thatthey lack a genuine love for who they are. They don’t respect who they are, they don’t like certain things about themselves, and they don’t even believe that they deserve to have the pleasure of a beautiful, confident woman in their lives.
This is the root of almost all problems men have with women. If you loved yourself, you would take care of your body, you would exude self confidence, you would be comfortable starting conversations with people, you would be fun to be around, etc.
So, the most important thing you can do for yourself, starting today, is to love who you are. You’ve got to believe that you are valuable and worthy of being loved before any woman will give you the time of day.
by Nick Notas
Every man seeks the answer to the eternal question:
“How do I become confident?”
And for most, they’re asking the wrong question. They should be saying:
“How do I love myself more?”
Before you think I’m spouting some new age fluff, hear me out.
Confidence is not something you instantly acquire. It’s not a simple on and off switch or a few lines you can memorize. It’s not about getting laid, acting “alpha”, or anything external. It is an internal belief about yourself that must be cultivated over time. That begins with your self-esteem.
Wikipedia defines self-esteem as:
“A term used in psychology to reflect a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth.” (Source)
In other words, do you love who you are? Do you trust in yourself? Do you prioritize your needs? Do you invest in yourself regularly? Do you respect your opinions? Are you congruent with your values and principles?
When faced with various situations in life that challenge the above, there are two paths you can take. One leads you to a life of fulfillment, the other leads to endless suffering.
by George P.H.
When it comes to girls, looks are everything. Society teaches us that truly beautiful women are rare and valuable. Since most guys don’t think of themselves as equally valuable, gorgeous girls intimidate them.
A few days ago, I met a girl. She’s taller than me; absolutely gorgeous; dances professionally and has the body for it. But I just got off the phone with her, and guess what?
Our conversation was kinda boring; I doubt we’ll meet again.
The truth is, attractive girls like her really aren’t that special. I’d take a fun girl with average looks over a boring model any day of the week – and so should you.
Still intimidated by beautiful women? Read this and see why you shouldn’t be.
Why Beautiful Women Intimidate Men
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that society objectifies women for their looks. We can talk about equal rights all day long, but the truth is simple: a woman’s physical appearance is her social currency; the source of her value.
A really hot girl has a lot of value, much like a rich and powerful man. Guys want to sleep with her; both sexes want to be around her. By leveraging this interest, a beautiful 18-30 year old woman can get just about anything.
I’ve seen guys buy lunches, rings, necklaces, 3,000$ bags, cars and apartments for girls – just because they looked pretty.
Although we like to think of women as gentle and kind beings, there are some that do nothing butbreed chaos, misunderstanding and insanity in relationships–especially when things don’t go their way. Whether these behaviors originate from a chemical imbalance or from the environment in which they were raised, one thing is for sure–dating a nut job can negatively affect all areas of your life; therefore, your goal should be to spot these gals before things get out of control. Here are 8 signs that the woman you’re dating is a psycho.
1. She’s extremely jealous
This type of psycho will go to any length to force unreasonable faithfulness on you because of her fear of losing you. Regardless of your constant assurances that you only care about her, she feels threatened when you discuss your previous relationships, gets angry and even has rages when you talk with female relatives, hates the idea of meeting your female friends and refers to all of them as skanks.
2. She’s controlling your life
Do you have a hard time remembering the last time you had an opinion? Do you recall your last decision? Do you constantly find yourself on the defensive, having to explain all your actions and words? If so, it’s because you’re being completely controlled. This type of psycho is often good at manipulating and intimidating men, making a guy feel he is the one responsible for making her angry or upset.
Controlling women like this believe they know what’s best for their men and will begin selecting the clothes you wear, choosing what movies you’ll watch and deciding what you should or shouldn’t eat. They will tell you when you can go out, when you can invite the guys over to watch the game and will even call you 10-15 times per day to keep track on what you’re doing, who you’re with and where you’re going next with each call. They must be right at all times and will use a great deal of coercion and intimidation to force you into agreeing with them, i.e. shaming you for your thoughts, actions, every time you voice an opinion and will never try to understand your views.
Can anyone deny that leadership is one of the most attractive qualities? Strong individuals have the power to charm and influence millions.
Wael Ghoniman started an Egyptian revolution, Steve Jobs created a cult of technology (which I’m happily part of), and even Stanley Milgram convinced people to electrocute test subjects to death.
It’s human nature to respect and respond to authority.
Thankfully, in dating we don’t have to go to those extremes. We just need to understand what makes a great leader and apply that to turn a girl we like into a girl we’re intimate with.
Know what you want and be unashamed about getting it
Every successful leader knows their position and will fight for it at all costs. They express their intentions proudly.
If you’re spending time with a woman you like, what are your intentions? Do you want to just be her platonic friend?
No, you want MORE. You want to be a romantic partner. You want intimacy. You want incredible sex and you want to give her incredible sex.
In high school I was your typical nice guy, got along with everyone, had a bunch of friends but I was so shy when it came to women. I could have a conversation with a girl who I thought was pretty but in the end that conversation wound up me being very neutral / agreeable and even if I didn’t agree with them I never expressed my opinion for the fear of them being put off or offended. When a girl i liked said something like “Oh I forgot to get a fork when I got lunch”, I would be the first person to be like “Oh ill go grab you one” or if she forgot her home work “Oh you can copy off mine”. Basically I did things to help her and even though it wasn’t a conscious decision, I was pretty much at her becking call. I thought these were actions that would make her like me. Unfortunately 98% of the time I never got the girl, she would always wind up dating a guy who wasn’t 1/2 as nice as I was to her.
It took a lot of lost girls to figure out what I was doing wrong in this aspect. I finally realized what was going on. It wasn’t that most girls aren’t interested in nice guys. It was girls aren’t interested in a guy who is a pushover / weenie. My actions of always being there for whatever she needed, always complementing her and offering to do whatever I thought would make her happy are things that friends do. When you do these typed of things over and over again you’re taking the challenge of her winning your affection away. You are giving her what she should have to earn. What’s the point of competing in a competition when you already know you’re going to win? Women want to be desired but it’s not worth anything to them if you just give it to them.