Dating

Nice Guys Don’t Have To Finish Last

February 25, 2014 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Dating |

nice guys finish last

by Who_Needs_College

In high school I was your typical nice guy, got along with everyone, had a bunch of friends but I was so shy when it came to women. I could have a conversation with a girl who I thought was pretty but in the end that conversation wound up me being very neutral / agreeable and even if I didn’t agree with them I never expressed my opinion for the fear of them being put off or offended. When a girl i liked said something like “Oh I forgot to get a fork when I got lunch”, I would be the first person to be like “Oh ill go grab you one” or if she forgot her home work “Oh you can copy off mine”. Basically I did things to help her and even though it wasn’t a conscious decision, I was pretty much at her becking call. I thought these were actions that would make her like me. Unfortunately 98% of the time I never got the girl, she would always wind up dating a guy who wasn’t 1/2 as nice as I was to her.

It took a lot of lost girls to figure out what I was doing wrong in this aspect. I finally realized what was going on. It wasn’t that most girls aren’t interested in nice guys. It was girls aren’t interested in a guy who is a pushover / weenie. My actions of always being there for whatever she needed, always complementing her and offering to do whatever I thought would make her happy are things that friends do. When you do these typed of things over and over again you’re taking the challenge of her winning your affection away. You are giving her what she should have to earn. What’s the point of competing in a competition when you already know you’re going to win? Women want to be desired but it’s not worth anything to them if you just give it to them.

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Why You Get Used By Women

February 13, 2014 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

by Nick Notas

We live in a generation of angry young men. Men who harbor massive resentment towards women and blame them for their romantic shortcomings. But is that even fair?

You claim that women use and lead you on. That your time is disrespected. You always get friend zoned for no reason. You go online and make grand statements such as, “Women only date assholes”. Then you tell yourself, “This is why I don’t even try in the first place.”

I get it. You’re frustrated by a lack of success, and it hurts.

But maybe you should be pointing the finger at yourself. You let it happen. If you continually allow yourself to be disrespected, then you are to blame. It’s your job to prevent that from occurring or stop it when it does.

Let’s get proactive and break down why you feel used by women:

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Why Do Girls Like Assholes So Much? 5 Things To Know

December 23, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

by George P.H.

The first time I fell in love, I was 13. I wanted her to like me back so much I was prepared to do anything. I did my best to be nice, kind and giving – but none of it worked.

So I spent 2 years watching my first crush date asshole after asshole. She’d fall for the cheaters, the jerks and the guys who disrespected her. Every time, I was the one she cried to when things went wrong for the Nth time.

I didn’t get it. Here I was, giving her so much and ready to give more; we’d be great together… But she kept choosing them over me. She wasn’t the only one; over the years, many of the girls I liked ended up with assholes.

So when I finally decided to get with women, the first thing I wanted to know was, “why do girls like assholes so much?” – and whether I had to become one to be loved.

Here are the answers to those questions.

1. Girls Like Assholes because They’re Strong

Assholes have tough, dominant personalities. They’re not afraid to assert themselves over other people – in fact, they rarely show fear at all. They take what they want from life and don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

This is incredibly attractive because girls want to be with men who make them feel safe and protected. They like strong guys who know what they want and aren’t afraid to take it. Assholes have all those qualities – and so women choose them.

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Dating Out of Your League

December 20, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

by Nick Notas

“No way, she’s out of my league!”

I wish I never had to hear this again.

I loathe the concept of a “league”. It’s destructive to your self-esteem and dating success. Yet the mainstream media, your family, and even you yourself perpetuate this idea.

Since everyone loves to use this as an excuse, I figured I should teach men the secret to dating women out of their “league”.

These so-called “leagues” are skin deep

When you claim a woman is out of your league, I bet you’re basing it on physical attractiveness. You disqualify yourself based on appearances alone.

You’re telling yourself looks are the only thing that matters – and that’s a terribly narrow view on people and relationships.

What if she shared no common interests with you? What if she was a horrible person? What if she didn’t care about anyone? What if she was always dishonest? What if she was selfish, immature, and insecure?

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15 Texting Mistakes That Stop You From Getting the Date

December 13, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating, main |

by Nick Notas

Few moments have single men more excited then getting a girl’s number. There’s an immense joy in knowing you now have an open line of communication.

Then reality sinks in. A number may be a green light, but you still have to get her on a date. And as many men come to realize, that’s easier said than done.

Lucky for you, I’ve been taking notes from every texting e-mail I receive to decipher the common pitfalls that prevent men from meeting up with women. They are:

  1. Unnecessary apologies. Stop saying sorry for taking time to text back — you did nothing wrong. You barely know each other and you aren’t obligated to explain yourself. It comes off awkward and like you need to make sure she likes you. Just roll back into conversation.

    If you’re really taking that long to respond, are you…

  2. Artificially waiting to respond. Replying in a normal timeframe only comes off desperate when you’re flooding her with consecutive unanswered messages. But, not responding for half a day because you think it’ll make you look cool is desperate.

    Women want men who are unashamed of what they want. By delaying, you’re only going to frustrate her or make her feel like you’re uninterested — putting her on the defensive. Women will often pull away to protect themselves and act distant as well.

    If you don’t want a girl to play games with you, you shouldn’t be playing games with her.

  3. Sharing too many useless details. She probably doesn’t care about a play-by-play of your day. Unless you can make a joke from it or use it to ask her a question about herself — save it for the date. Pare down your texts to the core message and remove all filler. Brevity is key.

    Say she asks you what your plans are for the night. Many guys respond with something like…

    “I’m gonna take a nap. Then around 5 I’m going to meet up with my friend John who’s back from the military. I haven’t seen him in over a year. We’ll probably hang out for a little and then we’re going to watch a metal show at the DCU center in Worcester — it’s going to be awesome.”

    Is the nap pertinent? Do you really need the timestamps? Is John being in the military relevant right now? Do you need to explain that you’re hanging out? Does the location of the show make a difference? Or the fact that it’s going to be awesome — that’s hopefully implied by you investing your time there.

    “I’m meeting an old friend and heading to a metal show. What’s your favorite type of live music?”

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5 Ways to Know You’re Not a Real Man

December 4, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating, Life |

man

By George P.H.

When you’re a boy, it’s alright to do kid things. That’s what our childhood and teenage years are for.

But with each passing year, the line between “boy” and “man” is becoming blurred. We’re taking longer to move out, find steady jobs and get married. We delay the responsibilities of manhood to enjoy ourselves for longer.

This is fantastic. It’s great that we’re making the most of our lives, exploring all available options and challenging the status quo. But all these things only have value if you do them as a man – not as a boy.

Below are 5 ways to know you’re not a real man (yet). If any of them apply to you, make some changes to your life and start living with strength, dignity and manliness. It’s the best decision you’ll ever make.

1. You Blame

I was late to work because my stupid car wouldn’t start.

We went snowboarding last winter but the snowstorm ruined everything.

I hate my job; my boss always makes me run little errands for him, ugh.

I hear people say things like these every day, and I feel deeply confused each time. When did it become so acceptable to blame other people, random events and even inanimate objects for everything that’s wrong?

Everything you do in life is a personal choice. Even when forces beyond your control are at work, the way you react to them is 100% on you.

Late to work? Apologize and fix your car (or get a bus pass).

Snowstorm during your vacation? Find ways to have a good time, shit happens.

Don’t like getting coffee for your boss? Get a new job.

That’s it. If you don’t like something, either remove it from your life or find a way to accept it. ­

It’s fine to blame others when you’re a child. You don’t know much about life and, when things go wrong, it often is somebody else’s fault.

As a grown-ass man, you don’t have that kind of luxury. Everything you do is your personal choice and responsibility. Blame might make you feel better for a short while but is ultimately useless.

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How To Choose The Right Person For You

October 30, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating |

by Nick Notas

When you’re looking to build a healthy relationship, how do you make sure someone is right for you?

For a long time, I had no idea.

So I asked other people what they looked for in a partner, and I got answers like…

“A sense of humor, attractiveness, intelligence, creativity, sexual compatibility, passion, an active lifestyle, a stable career.”

I knew those qualities were important. I had some of them myself, and even looked for them in women. But something was missing. The women I really liked and dated, always broke it off first.

After a breakup, I asked a former boss who had been happily married for over 20 years for advice. He just said…

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How To Be Taller

October 9, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

By Nick Notas

Last Thursday I was with a friend at one of my favorite clubs in Chicago. He had another friend visiting: a 6’5” British guy with a deep voice and charming accent.

As you can guess, he was a big hit with the women around us. And I couldn’t have been happier for him.

If this was a few years ago, however, I might have been too busy in my head feeling insecure about my “short” comings. As a 5’8” slim-cut guy, height had always been a sore spot.

I know a lot of guys feel the same way, too. I’ve gotten hundreds of e-mails from men telling me how they’re depressed, unconfident, and held back by what they believe are physical limitations.

For some it’s their height. Others it may be a big nose, a weak chin, a crooked smile, an inability to grow facial hair, or even their race.

The truth is that you can’t change your height. But I can share how I overcame my limiting beliefs to become comfortable in my own skin. And I’m sure it’ll work for you.

Why? Because however bad you feel about the physical traits you were born with, I almost guarantee I’ve felt worse.

I’m the reason I’m short.

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Feeling Needy Around Women

September 17, 2013 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

by Dr Robert Glover

A common issue for Nice Guys is feeling needy around women. They often approach them in a“please like me” kind of way — passive and ineffective.

Once in a relationship, Nice Guys tend to hook up a hose to their woman and expect her to constantly validate them and be their core source of social and emotional connection.

This may feel familiar to you, but it’s not an effective dating strategy.

The main reason that seeking approval from a woman doesn’t accomplish what you want is that your “needy traits are “feminine” in nature.

The “feminine” seeks external validation. The feminine craves approval.

The “masculine” is self-validating by through action. That is why women are generally turned on by men who “do,” not men who seek their approval.

If you approach women from a needy place, seeking their validation, any woman you attract to you will probably be fairly “masculine” in nature. That means she will most likely be pretty controlling and dominant, and maybe even mean and aggressive. She might completely lack the “nurturing” (feminine) qualities you say you crave. She could even resent you for having to take care of you, which usually turns off the sex switch as well.

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The Art Of Wingmaning

September 16, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Dating |

by jeffp12

I’d say my closest friend is Adam. Adam looks kinda like Ben Affleck, but growing up, he looked like Cartman. Long story short, he got tall, lost a bunch of weight, and now he has very high standards for women and also had a mom that would do everything for him and so he expects to find a girlfriend that’s mega-hot and also will do his laundry and cook for him and be his slave. In other words, he’s almost always single.

Adam’s method of attracting women goes like this: Get off work, play Call of Duty and drink every time you die until about 9 (let’s call it 10-20 beers). Then go downtown, drink more, and then he reaches his hitting-on-girls-zen-mode and will go through a bar and talk to every girl he sees, but only for about 30-40 minutes before he gets too drunk and has to head home.

But during that hour, he is amazing. He’ll just take a girl by the hand and start dancing with her. Some girl he hasn’t spoken to, hasn’t even looked at him yet, and not even on the dance floor, middle of the bar. Another trick of his is to high-five every girl he sees. Sometimes that means walking around the bar high-fiving, sometimes when he’s too drunk that means standing near a busy area and keeping his hand up. People will instinctively want to high five you back. Instant-ice-breaker. Since he’s quite tall, sometimes when a girl tries to high-five, he raises his hand too high for them to get to to tease them. Sometimes he holds their hand when they high five him and starts dancing. Sounds creepy, but fuking works a lot.

He doesn’t need a wingman right? Wrong. Before he gets to that zen-mode, even 12 beers in, he’ll be way too nervous to talk to girls. We’ll go up to groups of girls together and start a conversation. It’s way easier to approach people you don’t know in a group than it is to do it all by yourself.

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