by Nick Notas
We live in a generation of angry young men. Men who harbor massive resentment towards women and blame them for their romantic shortcomings. But is that even fair?
You claim that women use and lead you on. That your time is disrespected. You always get friend zoned for no reason. You go online and make grand statements such as, “Women only date assholes”. Then you tell yourself, “This is why I don’t even try in the first place.”
I get it. You’re frustrated by a lack of success, and it hurts.
But maybe you should be pointing the finger at yourself. You let it happen. If you continually allow yourself to be disrespected, then you are to blame. It’s your job to prevent that from occurring or stop it when it does.
Let’s get proactive and break down why you feel used by women:
by Nick Notas
We all know about the running joke that romantic relationships are a source of misery.
We grew up on shows like Married With Children where Al Bundy hated having to hang out with his wife Peg. We hear friends challenge each other with, “You’re so whipped!” And serious couples give us ominous warnings such as, “Don’t get married.” or “It’s all good now, but wait until the honeymoon is over.”
These may make us laugh but they also reinforce that our partners are a burden on our lives.
It’s true that maintaining a happy, healthy relationship takes work. But that doesn’t mean it has to suck.
The secret lies in finding a relationship that makes life easier and more fulfilling for you.With a compatible partner and mutual support, your relationship should decrease outside stresses, increase productivity, and improve the quality of your lives.
by George P.H.
The first time I fell in love, I was 13. I wanted her to like me back so much I was prepared to do anything. I did my best to be nice, kind and giving – but none of it worked.
So I spent 2 years watching my first crush date asshole after asshole. She’d fall for the cheaters, the jerks and the guys who disrespected her. Every time, I was the one she cried to when things went wrong for the Nth time.
I didn’t get it. Here I was, giving her so much and ready to give more; we’d be great together… But she kept choosing them over me. She wasn’t the only one; over the years, many of the girls I liked ended up with assholes.
So when I finally decided to get with women, the first thing I wanted to know was, “why do girls like assholes so much?” – and whether I had to become one to be loved.
Here are the answers to those questions.
1. Girls Like Assholes because They’re Strong
Assholes have tough, dominant personalities. They’re not afraid to assert themselves over other people – in fact, they rarely show fear at all. They take what they want from life and don’t care what anyone thinks of them.
This is incredibly attractive because girls want to be with men who make them feel safe and protected. They like strong guys who know what they want and aren’t afraid to take it. Assholes have all those qualities – and so women choose them.
by Nick Notas
“No way, she’s out of my league!”
I wish I never had to hear this again.
I loathe the concept of a “league”. It’s destructive to your self-esteem and dating success. Yet the mainstream media, your family, and even you yourself perpetuate this idea.
Since everyone loves to use this as an excuse, I figured I should teach men the secret to dating women out of their “league”.
These so-called “leagues” are skin deep
When you claim a woman is out of your league, I bet you’re basing it on physical attractiveness. You disqualify yourself based on appearances alone.
You’re telling yourself looks are the only thing that matters – and that’s a terribly narrow view on people and relationships.
What if she shared no common interests with you? What if she was a horrible person? What if she didn’t care about anyone? What if she was always dishonest? What if she was selfish, immature, and insecure?
by Nick Notas
Few moments have single men more excited then getting a girl’s number. There’s an immense joy in knowing you now have an open line of communication.
Then reality sinks in. A number may be a green light, but you still have to get her on a date. And as many men come to realize, that’s easier said than done.
Lucky for you, I’ve been taking notes from every texting e-mail I receive to decipher the common pitfalls that prevent men from meeting up with women. They are:
Unnecessary apologies. Stop saying sorry for taking time to text back — you did nothing wrong. You barely know each other and you aren’t obligated to explain yourself. It comes off awkward and like you need to make sure she likes you. Just roll back into conversation.
If you’re really taking that long to respond, are you…
Artificially waiting to respond. Replying in a normal timeframe only comes off desperate when you’re flooding her with consecutive unanswered messages. But, not responding for half a day because you think it’ll make you look cool is desperate.
Women want men who are unashamed of what they want. By delaying, you’re only going to frustrate her or make her feel like you’re uninterested — putting her on the defensive. Women will often pull away to protect themselves and act distant as well.
If you don’t want a girl to play games with you, you shouldn’t be playing games with her.
Sharing too many useless details. She probably doesn’t care about a play-by-play of your day. Unless you can make a joke from it or use it to ask her a question about herself — save it for the date. Pare down your texts to the core message and remove all filler. Brevity is key.
Say she asks you what your plans are for the night. Many guys respond with something like…
“I’m gonna take a nap. Then around 5 I’m going to meet up with my friend John who’s back from the military. I haven’t seen him in over a year. We’ll probably hang out for a little and then we’re going to watch a metal show at the DCU center in Worcester — it’s going to be awesome.”
Is the nap pertinent? Do you really need the timestamps? Is John being in the military relevant right now? Do you need to explain that you’re hanging out? Does the location of the show make a difference? Or the fact that it’s going to be awesome — that’s hopefully implied by you investing your time there.
“I’m meeting an old friend and heading to a metal show. What’s your favorite type of live music?”
By George P.H.
When you’re a boy, it’s alright to do kid things. That’s what our childhood and teenage years are for.
But with each passing year, the line between “boy” and “man” is becoming blurred. We’re taking longer to move out, find steady jobs and get married. We delay the responsibilities of manhood to enjoy ourselves for longer.
This is fantastic. It’s great that we’re making the most of our lives, exploring all available options and challenging the status quo. But all these things only have value if you do them as a man – not as a boy.
Below are 5 ways to know you’re not a real man (yet). If any of them apply to you, make some changes to your life and start living with strength, dignity and manliness. It’s the best decision you’ll ever make.
1. You Blame
I was late to work because my stupid car wouldn’t start.
We went snowboarding last winter but the snowstorm ruined everything.
I hate my job; my boss always makes me run little errands for him, ugh.
I hear people say things like these every day, and I feel deeply confused each time. When did it become so acceptable to blame other people, random events and even inanimate objects for everything that’s wrong?
Everything you do in life is a personal choice. Even when forces beyond your control are at work, the way you react to them is 100% on you.
Late to work? Apologize and fix your car (or get a bus pass).
Snowstorm during your vacation? Find ways to have a good time, shit happens.
Don’t like getting coffee for your boss? Get a new job.
That’s it. If you don’t like something, either remove it from your life or find a way to accept it.
It’s fine to blame others when you’re a child. You don’t know much about life and, when things go wrong, it often is somebody else’s fault.
As a grown-ass man, you don’t have that kind of luxury. Everything you do is your personal choice and responsibility. Blame might make you feel better for a short while but is ultimately useless.
by Nick Notas
When you’re looking to build a healthy relationship, how do you make sure someone is right for you?
For a long time, I had no idea.
So I asked other people what they looked for in a partner, and I got answers like…
“A sense of humor, attractiveness, intelligence, creativity, sexual compatibility, passion, an active lifestyle, a stable career.”
I knew those qualities were important. I had some of them myself, and even looked for them in women. But something was missing. The women I really liked and dated, always broke it off first.
After a breakup, I asked a former boss who had been happily married for over 20 years for advice. He just said…
By Nick Notas
Last Thursday I was with a friend at one of my favorite clubs in Chicago. He had another friend visiting: a 6’5” British guy with a deep voice and charming accent.
As you can guess, he was a big hit with the women around us. And I couldn’t have been happier for him.
If this was a few years ago, however, I might have been too busy in my head feeling insecure about my “short” comings. As a 5’8” slim-cut guy, height had always been a sore spot.
I know a lot of guys feel the same way, too. I’ve gotten hundreds of e-mails from men telling me how they’re depressed, unconfident, and held back by what they believe are physical limitations.
For some it’s their height. Others it may be a big nose, a weak chin, a crooked smile, an inability to grow facial hair, or even their race.
The truth is that you can’t change your height. But I can share how I overcame my limiting beliefs to become comfortable in my own skin. And I’m sure it’ll work for you.
Why? Because however bad you feel about the physical traits you were born with, I almost guarantee I’ve felt worse.
I’m the reason I’m short.