When the turd is rock solid
1. I let a girl that I had a crush on use my calculator for a maths test. When she returned it, I noticed she hadn’t cleared the calculator… I then proceeded to wank to the equations she put in.
2. When I was 11 or so, ABC aired a movie with nudity in it, uncensored and with limited commercial interruption. I’d only just discovered masturbation the previous summer. It was the 90s. I never got to see tits, like ever. But I got to see tits that night. My dad was sitting on one couch in the living room. I was layin on another couch. With a blanket over me. We watched. So many naked women. Cannot contain boner. A scene where dozens of nude women are shepherded into some sort of… chamber. Trying hard not to shake blanket while getting my strokes in. Nude women are trapped in room, scared. Then, overhead sprinklers drench the nude women in cool refreshing water, much to their nude-women-relief. I came. It was Schindler’s List. I masturbated during Schindler’s List with my dad in the room.