Answers

What Every Introvert Ought to Know About Dating

February 22, 2017 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Answers, Dating |

By Nick Neeson

I get lots of introverted men e-mailing me to ask me how to become more successful with women.

Many of those questions have a common theme.

“I’ve tried out so much dating advice and it just doesn’t cut it for me. It’s draining, and I feel like I’m betraying myself. Is it possible there’s something wrong with me?”

They might not all write it in exactly those words, but that’s the general theme of the emails we receive.

Many introverted men think there’s something inherently wrong with them.

I have news for you.

THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

I’d like to share some secrets that I feel are VITAL to understand if you’re an introvert and are wondering how to improve your love life.

The first and MOST IMPORTANT thing you ought to know is…

(more…)

1 Comment »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

February 22, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

What is doctor assisted death like?

An immediate family member last year was diagnosed with bronchiolitis obliterans (popcorn lungs) with an unknown cause to it. It is something that is not curable. As someone who was a daily part of my life it was hard to watch the condition progress.

His condition progressively got worse and he was transferred to a palativcare physicality a couple of weeks ago. He wasn’t happy living the way he was living and slowly dying. The doctors discussed with him the option of assisted death… something he did not know about, and myself I thought was still not finalized in Canada yet, so it was a surprise to hear this.

After a long discussion with the family and doctors, he signed the papers a week ago to start the process. He wanted to end his life and do away with the suffering and the suffering to come.

So yesterday (Saturday) afternoon was the scheduled day for this to happen. The day started like any other for him… he was very upbeat, laughing, and smiling. All of his close love ones we’re around that morning. We spent hours talking, playing crib, and going through some old memories.

(more…)

No Comments »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

February 15, 2017 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

What does confidence look like to a woman?

Physically, confident guys are much more calm or deliberate in their movements. There’s not tonnes of figiting etc. They just seem to be able to settle into a position and become relaxed. This also goes for walking – which comes across as more deliberate and natural. They’re also not generally concerned about how much space they occupy. Not like, randomly sprawling, but just able to keep square shoulders and longer strides. Especially as a woman, you can tell how confident they are when they’re hitting on you, based on the space they’re comfortable taking up. More confident guys tend to start closer to you (for instance when they sit down next to you at a bar), and not be so electrically aware of touching. Unconfident guys tend to get a bit jumpy, and sometimes almost glaze over when space starts to be closed.

In terms of speech, there’s rarely much wavering, no squeaking. All relatively level or appropriate. They’re not afraid to be loud, and are less apologetic if they’re too loud (although I dislike that last bit). Some guys are more measured with their Words and are comfortable saying less, some talk tonnes. But you never really get the sense that they’ve withdrawn or are critiquing themselves. They’re present and aware of what they’re saying.

(more…)

2 Comments »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

February 8, 2017 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

Why is the suicide rate amongst vetenarians so high?

Veterinary medicine attracts high-achieving, type A, empathic, perfectionist personalities. Veterinary school is very similar to medical school, usually at least 8 years of university academic commitment – however, veterinarians do not typically enjoy the same level of professional respect or income that a human physician receives.

Compassion fatigue is a very real syndrome once in practice – some times, a solution or treatment is readily available, yet the animal cannot be treated because of a caretaker’s financial constraints. This can lead to undue animal suffering, which is the one thing that a veterinarian wants to most avoid. Euthanasia becomes the best choice for a pet that could otherwise be cared for, if the owners could afford treatment.

In some cases, owners are dismissive or ignorant of the value of veterinary care or the veterinarian, which can erode one’s self-worth.  Combine all of this with the average veterinary school debt, in the range of $150,000 – $200,000, and you have all the ingredients for hopelessness within a profession that perhaps appeared more rosy than it truly is.

(more…)

2 Comments »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

February 1, 2017 | 5 Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

What’s it like to die and come back to life?

About 6 years ago my friend and I were on our way to pick up another friend from work at around 10pm. He was the driver and I was the passenger. We approach the intersection of my friends work traveling about 55mph (88kph) and as we’re entering the intersection a girl on her phone ran the red light at about 70mph (113kph) and we T-boned her. My seatbelt ripped the buckle from its housing and I went through the windshield.

I’m awake and conscious. I stand up and reach for my phone in my pocket; my arm feels like it’s on fire but I get my phone out and dial 911 through the lock screen. I look down and I’m pouring blood onto the street, as in a nice steady stream is making a puddle. People that had seen the accident, including the friend we were picking up, stop and watch me in horror as I walk around and hand my now blood covered phone my friend who is still stuck in the car. He takes it and I proceed to lean against the car.

An ambulance shows up, straps me to a board, and starts to load me into the back. As the as the stretcher is being loaded into the ambulance my mom showed up at the scene of the accident. I never saw her but I heard her yell “I love you, *****,” I tried really hard but I wasn’t able to reply.

(more…)

5 Comments »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

January 25, 2017 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

What it’s like working at an animal shelter which has to put animals down?

On a daily basis, we clean up after the animals, feed them, take their pictures, vaccinate, medicate, socialize, etc. For every cute puppy or kitten we adopt out, we usually find ourselves getting two in return. Whether its a stray off the streets, or some heartless chode that decided their dog of 5+ years doesn’t “fit” with their lifestyle anymore. No matter how hard we try, we grow attached. To some, we attach more than others.

Euthanasia is a necessary evil. Space isn’t limitless, and even if it was, who would pay for all of the animals? I’m just sure our fellow Texans are salivating at the thought of increased taxes, especially for taking care of feral cats and breeds that have been labelled violent by a very ignorant public (i.e. pit-bulls).

It doesn’t matter how hard you steel yourself, or how long you’ve been doing the job. You never get used to it, and you never grow completely numb. Imagine getting 12 cats in the span of a single day, and having to pick the 12 that have to die so there is enough room to accommodate them. I’ve stopped eating for days. I’ve cried myself to sleep. I’ve grown very disgusted with my fellow man.

(more…)

3 Comments »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

January 11, 2017 | 15 Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

What’t it like to be an introvert?

Early on in my relationship with my extroverted wife, we went to a party together, and, at some point, I asked, “Would it be okay if we left in an hour?”

She said, “Sure.”

Then I got involved in a poker game and she could see I was having a blast. But, in the middle of the game, at exactly an hour from when I’d mentioned leaving, I said, “Okay, I’m ready to go.”

She was flabbergasted. “But you’re having fun!” she said. “I can see you’re having fun!”

“Yes, I am, but I still want to go.”

What she didn’t understand is that socializing feels, for me, like a fun but strenuous physical activity. If someone says, “I need to stop dancing now,” it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s having a bad time. He may just be tired.

It’s like I have a battery inside me that allows me to function socially for a certain length of time. When it’s drained, my social skills vanish, whether I’ve been having a good time or not. And I feel a tremendous need to be by myself and recharge.

This past winter, we were snowed into our apartment for nearly two weeks, and by the end of it, we were stir crazy. We needed to be around other people. I needed it as much as my wife did.

But, once we’d hung out with some friends, my social needs were met way before hers were. I stayed out until midnight or so, just to make her happy, but I got antsy to go home at around nine, and by 10:30, I was in agony.

Still, from about 5pm until 8:30, we were both having fun.

– Marcus Geduld

(more…)

15 Comments »

A Few Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About

January 4, 2017 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Answers, Interesting |

What Is Daily Life Like With Alzheimer’s

This is an excellent question, and one I’ve considered often in the last decade-plus of working with such folks.

First, it depends upon the stage of dementia: mild, moderate, or severe.

In mild dementia, it seems to be like being a functional alcoholic’s day, as far as cognition goes. You’re able to do what you need to do, but some little things get missed, such as your T-shirt is on backward, but you don’t notice, or you can’t find the sugar bowl, so you start taking apart cupboards and end up going without coffee and the kitchen is a mess. Later, you swear you did not do that. You have no memory of doing it, and the more another person argues that you did indeed make that mess, the angrier you get. You did not. He or she is lying.

The whole day goes like this—close to normal, but not quite. Routines are easy, but anything new is more difficult. And, if asked about someone or thing from earlier in the day, you may or may not remember the event. By the end of the day, you’re tired of thinking, but your brain keeps throwing up odd thoughts and ideas—things like, “I can’t find the car keys. Someone must have stolen them! I need the car keys.” You may wander, rummage, pull things out of drawers for a couple hours, at the end of which you may be unable to tell anyone what it was you were searching for. Even more telling, you may not have driven a car for the past five years.

(more…)

2 Comments »