By John Brhel
Listen up, cause I’ve figured out who’s been keeping you from achieving all of your goals, from realizing all of your hopes and dreams, from securing your dream job or scoring a date with that cute redhead who sits in the next cubicle over. He’s been right under your nose this whole time, holding you back from working hard, from pushing yourself to be all you can be. Are you ready?
Drumroll, please. It’s…………….YOU!
Stop blaming your life circumstances, your appearance, your height, your lack of a prep school education, your horrible dancing skills, etc., etc., etc. and stop taking responsibility for your own actions. If you’re not where you want to be in life and you’re not giving it your all, the only one you have to blame is yourself.
No one is going to push you to become better than you already are. Did anyone force Einstein to come up with the general theory of relativity or John Lennon to write brilliant pop songs? No! Guys who get things done do so by their own volition. Okay, some may have it easier than others. Some guys are born rich, handsome, famous, etc., but all of us have the potential to reach great heights if we try.
Who’s in control of your destiny? If you believe in fate and just think life’s going to work itself out for you, good luck with that. If you don’t want to end up waiting around for life to happen to you, you’ve got to take the wheel and drive.
You can either be your best ally or your own worst enemy. You can be an independent, responsible man and take action to better your situation or you can keep playing the blame game, keep procrastinating, and keep living a dull, unfulfilled life.
No one, not your dad, girlfriend, professor, boss, etc. is your keeper. If you’re not living up to your full potential, you can’t blame your manager or your well-off friend for your own lack of success. That’s the easy way out, and it’s the one that will keep you where you are.
The only one keeping you from succeeding is that dude in the mirror, that lowly bastard who isn’t doing all he can. He’s the one who’s not taking the steps to achieve your goals. He’s the one who’s skipping class, not working out, sleeping in, feeling sorry, etc.
Now that you know the culprit, what are you going to do about him? Are you going to sit back and let him win or are you going to take charge? Do you want to be looking at a sorry loser or a go-getting winner the next time you go to shave? The choice is yours alone.
You can either be the person that keeps you from succeeding or the one who propels you to success. No one else is holding you back; don’t hold yourself back either. Be the guy you want to be and the other guy won’t know what hit him.
It’s Stories Like These That Prevent Me From Becoming A Hermit And Completely Turning My Back On Humanity
Here’s the backstory from Autism Speaks:
Our son, Daniel, is 5. He has autism. What started out as a fear has turned into a fascination. I showed him a YouTube video of a garbage truck a couple of years ago and he’s been obsessed ever since. Like many children on the autism spectrum, this has become a ritual for him. He loves the predictable movement of the hoist and is excited by the entire spectacle. He waits all week for Monday morning pickup. He knows exactly which cans are being picked up each week, and Sundays are special for him when he takes the cans out with his dad. Our recycle man, known only to us as Manuel, is his favorite. He always has a big smile for Daniel, who is faithfully waiting for him every Monday. To him, trash pickup is like a symphony. He synchronizes his hand movements with the truck. We have so many ‘Trash Day’ videos, but this one is like no other.”
We need more Manuels in the world and less bankers
I don’t know you, but if you are here reading this letter, you are probably at least somewhat curious about BJJ and maybe considering training.
This letter is for you, and I hope that you will read it. Technically, this letter is actually to me, to the “me” of just over two years ago, but I want you to consider that this letter could just as easily have been written by you, about two years from now. I hope you will continue reading.
You don’t know it yet, because right now you are just staring at that business card you picked up in your favorite Mexican restaurant, but that card in your hand is very important. It says Gracie Jiu-Jitsu on it. You have been staring at it for about an hour. Your food is getting cold.
Since the divorce, this has been your routine: Take a long lunch alone to escape the office, eat way too much and wonder how in the hell you ended up in such a strange place. Fat and unhappy. Sleep apnea. Cigarettes. If you have 3-4 beers really fast before bed, you won’t remember your dreams, and that is a really good thing these days. Melatonin doesn’t work anymore. Your dreams are never good these days.
No, you are staring at that card because the logo on it reminds you of a time in your life long past. It reminds you of Before. Before you stopped doing martial arts so you could finish up school, before the stress of a bad relationship that turned into a bad marriage that turned into a gut wrenching divorce.
Before you were self-medicating with food and alcohol.
Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn’t too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.
This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people’s cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.
Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn’t loan them out “for my safety” but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like “this country is going to hell in a handbasket.”
- If you can make a reasonable living doing what you love, DO WHAT YOU LOVE.. You may not get rich, but you’ll get to do what you love. Don’t quit your day job until doing what you love pays the bills, but don’t incur big debt getting a law degree or an MBA if you really want to be an artist.
- It’s amazing how easy life is when you’re honest with yourself and others. This doesn’t mean you should be rude and inconsiderate, but it’s better to be upfront when you have to rather than concealing things and letting them grow.
- Set up a safety fund. Yes, I know the savings account interest rates suck right now, but having 3-6 months of expenses in readily accessible cash can save you a lot of hassle. It also allows you to loan money to friends when needed (do this judiciously).
- Start lifting weights yesterday.
- Don’t get fat.
- Stand up for yourself. People will do anything for their own personal gain at others‘ expense: Cut in line, take money/property, bully/belittle, guilt- trip… Do not accept this. These people know they’re doing the wrong thing and back down surprisingly quickly when confronted. In a public setting people tend to keep quiet until one person speaks up.
- Staying in shape is dirt simple. Body fat is dictated by what you eat and your activity. Working out affects 2 things mainly: fat and muscle. Aerobic exercise burns fat and builds a little muscle. Resistance training builds muscle and burns a little fat. If you’re fat you’re eating too much and/or not doing aerobic exercise. Period.